Even with everything going on right now, I am still feeling a bit gun shy.

We finally have a car seat for the baby due in a few weeks.

We even assembled the crib over the weekend.

Despite the unrelenting contractions (which appear to be coming more frequently), the crib mattress remains wrapped in plastic.  Tags are still attached to the car seat straps.  And the candy bar thrown into my overnight bag, is still the only thing I have packed.

I think deep down, until I meet this kick-boxer inside me face-to-face, she will not seem real.

Despite hearing her heartbeat every week during my checkups…

Or the fact that I look like I swallowed a pumpkin…

It still feels like a dream.  Like when an eternity can pass in your slumber, but you awaken only to find that a few minutes have gone by.

Only the opposite.

As if last week I was still wearing skinny jeans and swinging my 4-year old in the air so she could fly.

But the reality is, time has marched on as it always has.  With my heart and mind standing still, desperately reaching for  any moment to savor, unwilling to let go.

Perhaps this is why the dolls I finally got around to sewing for Babisodes and her soon-to-be baby sister remain faceless.

Just another thing that will make this all feel more real.

Visit  Seven Clown Circus for more Wordful Wednesday participants.
Or visit 5 Minutes for Mom for Wordless Wednesday