Cloudy With a Chance of Showers
It’s 5:45am. A pot of coffee is percolating in the background. Outside, shadows of blue peek through the branches of my backyard. Everyone in the house is still asleep, unaware that I’ve just arrived back from the airport.
They’re gone.
After a month long stay, my mother and grandmother are finally on a return flight home.
No one can send me into fits of anger, or chip away at my patience quite like my family. But at the same rate, only they can cushion my mind and provide me with a sense of “home.” It’s just hard. Hard to see the women who have shaped and molded the facets of my physical and emotional self so infrequently, that each time they see Babisodes she will be so different, knowing that they’re missing out on all of the time in-between. With each visit their mind and body slowly alters shape. A few more gray hairs. Forgetting to turn off the stove. Another pill added to the regimen. It all adds up, each detail piecing together the reality of time. How it slips away when you’re not looking, and sometimes even if you are.
As I leaned down at the terminal curbside and hugged my 95- year old grandmother, I struggled to let go. The woman who raised me in the absence of my working parents seemed so tiny, so frail. Almost lost beneath her many layers of sweaters. With each time I see her, I never know if it will be the last. It is a crippling reality. And as I waved goodbye, I wondered if she still remembers. All of the years we had to share a bedroom. When I begged to have just 1 more of her homemade buns. Or when I shamefully walked ten steps ahead, as she accompanied me home from school in front of my sixth grade friends. I hope she remembers. I hope some if it is still there. Either way, I hope that she takes off today knowing that I proudly walk along with her everyday, whether I am there with her or not.
I wish I had better words to articulate how I feel this morning. But my mind is clouded from the lack of sleep, and my heart aches from bittersweet goodbyes. Perhaps I’ll write more when the fog lifts away from clearer thoughts. Or when I have a moment to reflect on this morning. Where time slips away once more, as I sit and watch the sunrise from my kitchen window alone.
Last night before bedtime…
Babisodes: Grandma. Are you leaving?
Grandma: Yes, Babisodes. I’m leaving tomorrow to go home to Miami.
Babisodes: My-ami? ….Can I come with you to “Your-ami?”
Babisodes and Grandma
Babisodes and Great Grandma
I laughed out loud. “Your-ami”. Out of the mouths of babes. I gotta do this quick so I’m FIRST!!!
Lou Lohman’s last blog post..Great Bloggy Bling Orgy – Grand Finale
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:36 am
No need for better words Mommisodes you’ve already provided them with your emotions.
chris’s last blog post..Opening Night
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:36 am
I got so het up about being first I didn’t REALLY read the whole post. Now that a cooler head prevails, let me say that I know the melancholy of separation. I know how you’re feeling. And it is of little consolation, I know, but you are not alone. *HUG*
Lou Lohman’s last blog post..Great Bloggy Bling Orgy – Grand Finale
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:44 am
Your grandmother is adorable and your daughter is hilarious (and adorable)!
I know it’s hard to watch family go, especially when they are getting up in years.
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:49 am
Aww…Maybe you can arrange a trip for Babisodes to visit Your-ami.
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:55 am
What a warm and poignant blog…you touched my heart, mind, body and soul. Wishing you and yours much love, joy and happiness…no matter the length of time remaining.
xoxo
yasmin’s last blog post..Meet Prominent Women of Color Book Club, September 23rd
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:07 am
Very sweet. I am sure your grandmother knows how much she means to you.
wright’s last blog post..A Second Set of Hands
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:10 am
LOL! That was so adorable!! I can just imagine her innocence as she uttered those words.
I totally know how you feel. My grandmother recently moved all the way to the West Coast. It’s not likely I will see her again.
(Btw, you won the Dottie Award!!)
Karen of the MomDot Street Team
http://www.MomDot.com
Karen of Sillymonkeez’s last blog post..Silly Monkey Stories: For Those Who Ask “Why?”
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:13 am
Your emotions are as clear as the day is today (since I’m local and all). I’m sure that your grandmother remembers all of your childhood, maybe not in the same detail that you do, but in her own way. She’s lucky to see her great-granddaughter!
Angela at mommy bytes’s last blog post..Car Safety – What about Headlights?
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:25 am
I so totally get the emotion behind the blog… I just came home from being “home” for a visit. Each time I leave my grandparents, I know that even though they are *only* six hours away, I may never see at least my grandfathers (neither of whom are in great health) again. It’s heartbreaking.
Donna’s last blog post..Road Trip!
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:37 am
Well put. *sniff* Time does indeed sneak past us whether we watch or not.
LOL… I think it’s funny that Babisodes still calls it “yourami.”
Anne’s last blog post..Confessions galore
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Awww! I totally know how you feel with all those emotions there! My grandma is 86 and each time I see her, I see how this once towering, strong woman is now smaller than me…tiny even! It makes you realize that mankind is mortal and people are not always the superheroes we always knew them as. People get old, health starts to decline. It makes me want to hold onto my grandma and never let her go.
Thanks for sharing this post with us, Sandy! I think you and Babisodes could use a girls’ trip to Your-Ami sometime! That would be fun! XO
C’s last blog post..When Blog Meets Real Life
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:28 pm
hope she can still remember ur time together and that u still can see her on her next trip to ur house!
wen’s last blog post..Blog Tag
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Okay, Sandy, you have me crying. This was so beautiful.
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Wonderful post, Sandy. And I agree with some of the other comments…your mind doesn’t seem clouded at all.
Daddy Dan’s last blog post..Daddy Dan Interviews…..Dorky Dad
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Can you see my lower lip hanging low..it’s like I’m sorry I didn’t get to hug them goodbye too..
you ami.. 2 darn cute…
mp’s last blog post..Weekend Update aka My Rock N Roll Lifestyle
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Your post was beautiful and the words of Babisodes so cute.
kontan’s last blog post..Hack…cough…sniffle…groan
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:21 pm
I don’t think you need better words. These words were perfect.
Beth (A Mom’s Life)’s last blog post..The good old days.
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:14 pm
I’m so glad you had time with your mother and Grandmother. I think saying good-bye with the uncertainty of knowing if it is the last good-bye is one of the most difficult times we ever have to utter those words. You have wonderful memories, treasure them. Your writing brought a lump to my throat and my heart ached for you. And I bet you never say Miami again without really wanting to say your-ami.
For a long time my granddaughter thought I lived at the airport. They always came and got me there and the that is were they took me when I was going home.
Patsy’s last blog post..Fall Began Today —- And the New TV Season Is Here!
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Very nice post!
m’s last blog post..Daily Life Challenge
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
This made me tear up….I know how hard it is to have them at your house for so long, but it is special that they can come and stay…and that babisodes can have these memories of them. It makes me sad that my children don’t have a relationship with their grandmother (my mother) and I know that they never will. I’m so glad that you do cherish them…..
abunslife’s last blog post..Deep Thoughts……
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
She’s very lucky to have met her great grandma!
I’m so lucky that my mom lives so close to us, and that’s one of the reasons I’m stalling our immigration plans so much.
Jeanette’s last blog post..Arum in B&W
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:36 pm
I think you chose the perfect words to say how you are feeling. I feel it in your words and it brings tears to my eyes. Sometimes life just feels like one great big goodbye.
Kathryn’s last blog post..Antsy
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:01 pm
such a bittersweet thing…
sending hugs, hon……
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Food for thought
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:21 pm
It’s nice to visit and it’s nice to have your home and family again. Finding the balance between them can be hard sometimes. I’m glad you had the time with them and hope there are more visits to come….after you’ve recuperated from this one!
Kim’s last blog post..One Day To Give
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:31 pm
What a great post! I think we have the same family, or at least feel the same way about them. I think you and Babisodes will always remember this visit.
And maybe you’ll get a chance to visit “your-ami” soon.
skiplovey’s last blog post..Sniffle snorffle
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Loved these pictures. I am so glad to have dropped by your site. Found you on The Wife Young Mommy’s site, announcing your Most Likely to Succeed award. I can’t wait to come back and read more of your posts.
Happy fall!
jyl @ mommygossip’s last blog post..I Am the Next Stephenie Meyer
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Awwwww — how cute. “You-rami” made me laugh. And, go Grandma for travelling at 95. My granny gave up visiting us every year from Scotland when she hit 80 as it just got to much for her.
Karen’s last blog post..Weekends with Daddy . . .
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:34 pm
That was a really touching and heartwarming post. Great to see someone have so much love and respect for their family.
Tim’s last blog post..Romeo and Juliet foreclosed
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:46 pm
So heartbreakingly sweet from start to end. I’m not even sure what to say other than that I leave here totally touched and madly in love with every generation of your family. It’s gotta feel a little empty having them there for so long and now not in your house, but Babisodes is just so stinkin’ adorable, and I bet she’ll have you smiling and all back to normal again soon. Until then, no harm in missing those you love.
Maggie’s Mind’s last blog post..Talkin’ Baseball
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:55 pm
your ami??? love it! cutest pics ever! even tho they drove you bananas, i’m glad they were there and i know you were, too. they know you were, too so it’s ok. just be glad to have the moments you have while they’re there. aww! i’m calling my grandma tonight!
jameil’s last blog post..Celebrating EARLY!!
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:57 pm
If you ever do come to Your Ami, I hope you’ll let me know!
Sweet post. It’s a mixed blessing to have family come and stay so long.
September 23rd, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Your-ami!! OMG that’s priceless Sandy. I know what you mean though about seeing your grandparents leave. I’m the same way every time I see my Grandparents…my grandfather just turned 90.
Jessi’s last blog post..Manic Monday
September 23rd, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Parting is always a sweet sorrow … but these memories are forever ;–)
Hugs and blessings,
storyteller’s last blog post..Ruby Tuesday #5 and Heads or Tails #24
September 23rd, 2008 at 5:55 pm
I think you should DRIVE to Miami and stop in Georgia to visit me.
There.
I said it.
Excellent post.
Lacy
RazorFamilyFarms.com’s last blog post..All Hallows ESP?
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:45 pm
I love your ami. That’s really cute. I hope you get to visit them sometime in the not to distant future.
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:47 pm
What a beautiful way to honor your family. I hope you are rested now – it’s always draining to say goodbye and wonder.
kathy in colorado’s last blog post..I’ve been sick
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Awww. Babisodes and Grandmasodes look great together. There’s a family resemblance.
Alice Audrey’s last blog post..What’s Behind Your Computer?
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:03 pm
*hugs* *hugs* *hugs*
There will be an ache in your heart that will tug once in a while. Look in and dig into the sweet memories tucked inside your heart, hopefully a warm feeling will come rushing over you =)
louann’s last blog post..TOUGH
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:06 pm
This is beautiful and poignant… It’s crazy how family gets you on both sides, but that makes it all the more special, huh?
It’s great that you and Babisodes will have such memories. I live on them!
Angela’s last blog post..Chores
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:47 pm
awww that broke my heart a little
mojavi at Simple Things’s last blog post..Unschooling…
September 24th, 2008 at 12:32 am
She can come with me to My Hammy any day of the week with all her cuteness.
::Hugs:: your way Sandy
Grandy’s last blog post..Because Earth Has No Marbles
September 24th, 2008 at 1:00 am
So cute. So Cute. SO CUTE!
Sits Girls’s last blog post..Featured Blogger: My Chaos My Bliss
September 24th, 2008 at 1:33 am
That was so beautiful. And aren’t you lucky to have them in your 9and Babisodes) life, still? I know what you mean about the fleetingness of it all (is that even a word?). My grandmother is 90 and frail as can be, and I know that feeling about seeing her and wondering . . . if it’s the last time. I know it all too well.
What beautiful women they are.
September 24th, 2008 at 3:58 am
Beautiful babe. Yup. Family can frustrate and drive you to tears at times. And then sometimes you just crave that frustration
Kelley’s last blog post..Hi, how are you?
September 24th, 2008 at 4:46 am
Aww, that’s hard to say goodbye after family visits. Especially with great grandma being 95! I know it’s hard when my parents leave after a visit, mostly because I know how much the kids will miss them. And my grandma is 90 and can still drive me nuts, but I love her (even if I don’t show it enough!). Hope you get through the fog soon!
Busymama Kellie’s last blog post..What is your earliest memory?
September 24th, 2008 at 5:42 am
Your-Ami. . . LOL that is too cute. I hope they had a safe trip back home.
Tiff@Three Peas’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
September 24th, 2008 at 5:59 am
That has to be really hard to watch them leave. You brought me to tears.
Love the Silly Monkey story though and that face in her picture with Grandma!
Kim @ What’s That Smell?’s last blog post..Virtual Baby Shower – Week 4 Giveaways
September 24th, 2008 at 6:05 am
Beautiful post. There really no words to describe how time pass us by and inevitably, change.
Elaine B.’s last blog post..12 Online Drawing Tools-Great Places on the Web to Draw for Free
September 24th, 2008 at 8:34 am
What a sweet story, I hope they get to come back and visit you soon!
DJ’s last blog post..The Eyes Have It!
September 24th, 2008 at 10:37 am
Great story – that sky does look menacing.
Doll Clothes Gal’s last blog post..By: DJ
September 24th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
*sniff
Beautiful writing. I’d bet money that she remembers. More than anything, she will remember the love.
Jennifer H’s last blog post..I must be crazy
September 24th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Oh my goodness, I love the picture of the two of them together. Something very special. Stop by my WW, not as happy but I need a little support!
http://www.lifeislikechampagneblog.com/
happyathome’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
September 24th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
isnt that just like family? You hate to love them, huh.
trisha
my ww
http://www.momdot.com/?p=1796
trisha’s last blog post..MomDot’s midweek trip around the blogosphere
September 24th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Very beautifully written! Brought back thoughts of my own grandma.
Miss’s last blog post..Ocean Sized Love
September 24th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
I think what you wrote was absolutely beautiful. I get it, I totally do. I was here 3 years before I got to see my Mum again, when that happened, her face looked older. It was a shock to the system.
Siobhan’s last blog post..Word of the Week
September 24th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
So amazing . . . so heartfelt. You had THAT moment. You won’t forget it . . .
LaskiGal’s last blog post..The Mantra of the Fearless
September 24th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
So sweet! That is a classic!
September 24th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
My goodness, that was sad. Very well written!
Tara’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Housecleaning
September 24th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
These are great pics….and it makes me want to call my 85 year old grandma now!!!!!
My Asian Heritage’s last blog post..How to carry baby? Let me count the ways….
September 24th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
It is too bad that they don’t live closer. Poor Babisodes…she has no concept of distance. My grandkids don’t either. They think that we can just pop on over any time and we only live 3 1/2 hours away.
September 24th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Bittersweet. I hope things settle back into the routine for you.
dysfunctional mom’s last blog post..If this is a dream, do NOT wake me up!
September 25th, 2008 at 4:16 am
(((HUGS))) Sandy;o) Just believe that she remembers. She also sees not only Babisodes changing but you as well. What a fine woman you turned out to be. Love you sweet
September 25th, 2008 at 9:14 am
the pictures are beautiful. Babisodes is so cute, with “Your-ami!”
Daisy’s last blog post..The Burrow, the Warren, call it what you will
September 27th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
You said it beautifully. Lovely.
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September 30th, 2008 at 1:29 pm