Deflating the holidays
Mayday! Mayday!
To all regular readers here at Momisodes that have been around for past Christmases, I have some alarming news.
If you have not read some of my previous infamous Christmas gift stories, click here to get up to speed.
Actually, who am I kidding? You’re not going to click on the link. That’s cool. I understand. I don’t exactly have riveting prose here. So allow me to make this easier. Here is a short excerpt just for you.
Originally posted: November 9th, 2007
I’m married, to a guy. One raised on an island inhabited by an isolated species of humans all missing a section of gray matter from their brains; a section directly responsible for the intuitiveness of gift giving. Strangely enough, the island’s population is predominantly men. But clearly, my husband reigns supreme in this land of inconsideration.
Yesterday was my 30th birthday. Perhaps not as commemorative as a 1st, 15th or 21st birthday, but it was at least a milestone. And in today’s aftermath, I have absolutely no gift from a certain mister to speak of. Please don’t think of me as a spoiled little brat. There is more to this post, I promise. But seriously,… nothing?
This lack of acknowledgment uprooted a past incident that left me spitting venom for weeks. Last Christmas, we had just finished moving from California to Massachusetts. In only a few short weeks, I braved the new bitterly cold and unfamiliar surroundings with a toddler to find a thoughtful gift for my husband. So it was to my dismay when I opened my stocking to find this…
Yes boys and girls. That is exactly what you think it is… it’s A TIRE PRESSURE GAUGE! Because nothing gives us ladies the warm fuzzies like a $5 trinket from the local gas station…for CHRISTMAS!…
Many of us who live on the east coast are well aware of the intense snowstorms that came through recently. And if you did not have to dig your way out of your house or dig to find your car, well, just pretend to be sympathetic here.
Anyhow, the winter storm was due to reach Boston late Saturday night. Thank goodness Dadisodes was able to put on our snow tires before it arrived.
Only problem was, soon after switching out the tires, he swung open the front door and announced, “The tire pressure gauge is broken!”
Dood. You know what this means?
As if it doesn’t already suck that I completely lost my voice from laryngitis, or that can barely walk because of sciatic back pain, or that I pee a little every time I cough (have I mentioned how awesomely glam pregnancy is?). There stands a good chance I may be receiving a damn car accessory again this year.
I swear, I will fah-reak if I unwrap anything with “P-S-I” on it. Or, if he thinks that a fancy digital version of a tire pressure gauge is better…
Fah-reak.
Seriously, because there is no need to continue the tradition of bogus-gift-itis. A card would be better. No writing necessary. No lie.
It would be a real shame though. Dadisodes has been amazing this year, not only with me, but also with his business and our daughter. So I spent a lot of time thinking about, scheming, and hiding his gift.
I think I have the receipt somewhere.
Perhaps I should invest in a brown Snuggie for him from Walgreens and give the gift of looking just like a monk.
He can practice looking zen with his new found celibacy.
*snort*
You’re too cute, Sandy.
rachel-asouthernfairytale´s last blog ..Cheesy Chipotle, Corn and Zucchini Casserole
December 21st, 2009 at 12:39 pm
I remember the tire pressure gauge *LOL* It is so something my husband would too…
I love the idea of a nice brown snuggie for him. I’m sure he’d love it.
(Sorry, now I must pick myself off the floor and stop laughing. )
Jac @ Wuzzlemakesthree´s last blog ..Jingle Bells
December 21st, 2009 at 1:18 pm
The only problem is – that HIS new found celibacy is also YOUR new found celibacy. Which gives a whole new slant on what you might want for Christmas.
lceel´s last blog ..Monday Meanders 12-21
December 21st, 2009 at 1:20 pm
I’ll send you some batteries.
lceel´s last blog ..Monday Meanders 12-21
December 21st, 2009 at 1:21 pm
ROFL @ lceel!!!!
December 21st, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Ed was not the best gift picker in the world, but he tried very hard. I learned never to say “I’d like” anything because he would always try to get it for me. And it was always the wrong thing. It would be similar to what I wanted, but not what I would choose for myself. Then there was the year he bought me a new outfit. My whole body fit in one leg of the pants. (Can we say ‘exchange?”)
Eve´s last blog ..Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
December 21st, 2009 at 2:33 pm
I remember the tire gauge. Such thought and love when into that gift purchase, no? LOL All kidding aside, you might consider getting him a Chia Pet or have you done that one already?
Joyce-Anne´s last blog ..Resolved
December 21st, 2009 at 2:45 pm
thank you for sharing all of those memories, silly and funny, sweet and sore…
enjoy what you have, you have a safe, adventurous, and memorable Christmas ahead!
smile, smile, worries melt,
Think, think, wisdom grow!
jingle´s last blog ..Snow Steals The Shows
December 21st, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Haha! Did I tell you that I got a universal remote for Xmas one year?
Asianmommy´s last blog ..Paper Plate Snowman
December 21st, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Haha! I love the pressure gauge story! My hubs used to be the same way. I started sending him a link to exactly what I wanted (usually involved the Tiffany store) and voila! We’re both happy!
Emily´s last blog ..PSF and sweet success!
December 21st, 2009 at 3:51 pm
I’m with Emily. My DH, alas, is also missing the gift giving gene. I have to outline exactly what would make a great gift and hope for the best. Here’s hoping the tire pressure gauge ends up in HIS stocking this year!
Jane´s last blog ..Won’t You Be My Neighbor – Part II
December 21st, 2009 at 4:41 pm
My husband also puts no thought into his gift. There’s nothing like marking up a red envelope catalog and placing it on his pillow, as I did one year. But then, I like surprises, and I wasn’t surprised at that gift. He’s also mister last minute, which means that whatever he sees at 6pm on xmas eve is mine…sigh. Here’s hoping you get something you at least like this year!
Jenna´s last blog ..It Wasn’t Her Weekend
December 21st, 2009 at 6:31 pm
AHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA haaaaaaaaaaaa! That was great! I SO needed that laugh today! You have no idea! My husband is the WORST at gift giving. (Im not sure you can even call it that!) But even I WOULD rather receive the crap HE gives me over a tire gauge!
lol. Sorry! The two of them should go to some sort of class. Maybe they could actually find some! ah ha ha!
Good luck!
sheila´s last blog ..The Oldest Spartans
December 21st, 2009 at 7:07 pm
I love the batteries comment. Yeah, we guys get very zen like when it’s been a long time in between “relations.” Almost a glazed look….
Mike´s last blog ..Your Going to Do What ???
December 21st, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Yikes! Maybe you should get him a nice obama chia pet. I’m sure it would look lovely on his desk at work.
Cookie´s last blog ..No More 5 Year Old
December 21st, 2009 at 7:41 pm
Lolol. I KNEW tire pressure gauge was coming out again! lol. poor dadisodes will nEVER live that one down!! I hope he’s learned his lesson!
Jameil´s last blog ..Monday Mindspacing Vol. 28
December 21st, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Is it wrong if I hope he actually gets that for you so that I can read a blog entry about his brown snuggie? *smirks*
No? Okay then.
*scurries away*
Heather´s last blog ..RSVP’ing is for the dark ages, apparently..
December 21st, 2009 at 8:47 pm
LOL, yes, I remember that!!! That was hilarious!!
And I say get the snuggie!!!
Alicia´s last blog ..MANICURE, SHOPPING & A MOVIE
December 21st, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Seriously? Oh my…that’s not exactly the sort of small shiny gift a gal likes!!
Maybe he needs a personal shopper! Ha!
Muthering Heights´s last blog ..Protecting My Humility
December 21st, 2009 at 10:40 pm
Yes, get him the brown snuggie! I wanna see that. That is seriously funny and the really really funny part would be that he would not have a clue.
Christine´s last blog ..Life With Sam
December 22nd, 2009 at 12:22 am
That was hilarious!!! Unfortunately my hubby was also born without the gift-giving gene. I’ve learned that there’s no such thing as dropping hints. Just tell them exactly what you want and everyone will be happy. Good luck and I can’t wait to find out what you really got.
Mama in Suburbia´s last blog ..But your watch is broken…
December 22nd, 2009 at 1:04 am
Thats kind of cute. I’m sure he thought you would love it. Its taken me a few years to help my husband understand what kinds of gifts I like, but they do get it eventually.
Trust me.
Brenda´s last blog ..Pozole, My Mother’s Recipe/TMTT
December 22nd, 2009 at 1:45 am
I hope you do have that receipt. I fear you may need it!
December 22nd, 2009 at 4:27 am
I am dying laughing. I hope he doesn’t make the same mistake twice!
Veronica´s last blog ..But where have all the writers gone?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:33 am
Thank you for those memories !
Stéphanie´s last blog ..My Christmas tree
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:40 am
If you ever want to re-gift him my little cousin makes duct tape wallets for $5! It’d be perfect for your hubby. My husband wants a new computer for xmas, so I am getting a computer for Christmas. Not a romantic bone in my husband.
Anne´s last blog ..Storkcraft Crib Recall – speedy response
December 22nd, 2009 at 11:03 am
You’re so funny! Even those TV advertisements that tell you that things like a Chia pet would make a great gift wouldn’t say that about a tire pressure gauge. So… you haven’t talked to him about this after last year??
December 22nd, 2009 at 11:51 am
Oh no!!!! HAHAHA!!
Yes I remember that tire gauge. I hope you do not get another one this year. Yipes!
Dadisodes- No car accessories! Chocolate is ALWAYS good for pregnant ladies!
Kat´s last blog ..Our First Christmas Without You
December 22nd, 2009 at 12:26 pm
LOL, a funny chuckle with it is not me. Hope you get something more interesting this year. BTW, I forwarded your info already so you should be receiving your new watch soon. Have a happy holiday.
xo Angela – Savvy Gal
savvygal´s last blog ..Counting Down Toward Christmas & Gift 4 Savvy Niece
December 22nd, 2009 at 2:15 pm
I remember the story! Can’t wait to find out what he’s giving you this year! ROFL!!!
Jientje´s last blog ..Ruby Tuesday, The Story of the Boyds Bears Nativity Scene
December 22nd, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Too funny! I’m sure he’s learned his lesson by now… right? Feel you though, I got an oven mitt for Valentine’s Day last year. Yeah, an oven mitt, what’s that all about?
December 22nd, 2009 at 8:16 pm
This is so funny … and a leopard-print Snuggie should be ample relaliation for the tire gauge.
Jenners´s last blog ..Our Annual Holiday Trip to NYC
December 22nd, 2009 at 9:07 pm
Can’t wait to find out what’s hiding in YOUR stocking!!
Rachel @ Grasping for Objectivity´s last blog ..It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas…
December 22nd, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Most men I know suck when it comes to gifts. I don’t think it’s your husband heritage, I think it’s his Y chromosome.
Anne from Most-Amazing.com´s last blog ..Amazing Sand Art Video
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:32 am
Very sexy:-)
Merry Christmas to you and yours:-)
Susie’s Homemade´s last blog ..FNCCC Week: 16
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:13 am
How about a jar of Prego and a box of pasta instead?
Run DMT´s last blog ..Winter Wonderland
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:20 am
OMG! Too funny. I remember a Christmas where my husband returned home on Christmas Eve with a Rite Aid bag and a few carefully selected gifts for me. He handed me the bag. I recall some cheap Christmas mug and a brush…
Are they all born this way?
Shelley @ Lemon Tree Kids´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Santa at work
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:32 am
DOOD!!! You totally have to buy yourself something nice (from him of course) and if you open something with a PSI on it…give it back to him!
Grandy´s last blog ..Annual Christmas Letter
December 24th, 2009 at 2:42 am
you never cease to make me LOL….literally! I hope you have a surprisingly wonderful Christmas gift waiting under the tree for you!!
Kelly´s last blog ..the eye of the beholder
December 24th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Yeah, I think he deserves a snuggie…but not the blanket kind
Melissa´s last blog ..Conversations with Adelle
December 24th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
[...] this year was no different. Especially with the threat of another car accessory gift looming over my [...]
December 29th, 2009 at 12:31 pm