I gotta wear shades
Every year around this time I get the same question from my daughter.
“When will I have my birthday again?”
And who can blame her? I have distinct memories of wishing I could attend the same big kid elementary school as my older brother. Then in high school, I remember crossing off the days I would no longer be a bottom feeding freshman.
Is there an innate desire to yearn for what lies ahead? I suppose I raised this question because I have never seen a child say, “I love being ten. I wish I could be ten forever.”
I know I certainly never felt that way. Time seemed to pass at a turtles pace throughout childhood, always looking forward to the next holiday or day off from school. It was not until I hit my mid-twenties that I wished timed would slow down. Actually, just freeze for a while. The prospect of thirty was not a welcome one.
However, thirty came and went, with plenty of milestones passed along the way. Things such as buying a home… twice, having a child, moving across the country, and switching careers. Events that seemingly accelerated the passing of years.
Last year has been no different. In a blink of an eye, my baby turned four, our family went from making ends meet and saving money to unemployment and digging deep into our life savings. After a year long struggle with trying to conceive we have finally been rewarded with an early baby bump.
However, what I have learned since I was young and wishing I could be madly in love forever, is that the only constant in life is change.
Time stands still for no one, and there are no guarantees for tomorrow. Although the light at the end of the tunnel may represent new possibilities, it will not be the only dark and narrow passageway that lies ahead.
Last week, after a year of struggling with precancerous cervical cells and treatments, my pap smear returned with unexpected NORMAL results (even though my last biopsy four months ago yielded abnormal cells).
My doctor and practitioners have reassured me that this sometimes just happens.
Somehow I’ve found the light. Or perhaps it found me.
Either way, I am acutely aware that this may not last forever.
But for now, I am basking in the warmth.
And for that I am grateful.
Grateful for today.
yay today!! That’s great!!! I’m working on enjoying now b/c it surely passes by me so quickly! i think that’s why i take so many pics on trips. i want to capture every moment so i can remember the fun i had.
September 8th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Ya, I would like to freez time right now! 27 is a great age!
Great news on your pap!
September 8th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
*squeal!!* I am so happy for you! I love unexpected miracles. It is true that enjoying the moment is sometimes difficult. I am having a hard time not wishing for cool weather and colorful leaves and apple cider. Everything has its own time and purpose, doesn’t it?
September 8th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Yay! Good to hear.
September 8th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Absolutely DELIGHTED to hear this. And yes, I’ve heard what the docs are telling you, as well from other friends. Let’s just keep those cells normal.
Put those shades on!
September 8th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
That’s just awesome. My 5 year old has planned the theme of her next 3 birthdays even though her next one is 10 months away! Funny how quickly we forget the times when our birthday was the most important day of our lives. I don’t want my 20’s back, I want my innocent youthful elementary school days back. The simplest time of life.
September 8th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Yeah!! That’s good to hear. I think you have been through enough that now it’s your turn to take in all the good news and I hope there are many more to come for you!
September 8th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
You’re right…change is the only thing we can count on here! I’m glad you’re finding peace right now though.
September 8th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Yay for normal results! I know how much that was hanging over you. It is so hard to live for now. I’m finding I’m getting better at it, although there are times when I still do the “I can’t wait until…” It’s just human nature, I suppose.
September 8th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
That is the most blessed and awesome news. I am uproariously happy for you. What grand news as a birthday present- because you DID save this for my birthday, right? If not – you did better by accident than you could have done on purpose.
September 8th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Happy you are happy! Sometimes we are so looking forward to something else we forget how great things are right here, right now!
September 8th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glad your results came back okay
September 8th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Gotta love it!
September 8th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
You’re a miracle. I’m so glad that your results are normal.
I agree with you about the passage of time. It must depend a bit on what stage of life you’re in. I’m not so in a rush for it to move forward anymore.
September 8th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
That is wonderful! I am so happy for you.
September 8th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Great, great news! But if you ever do find a way to freeze time, please let me know. I could use it!
September 8th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Oh, so happy for you!
September 8th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Found you through Rachel (no, thank YOU Google Reader) and had to comment. I had a similar thing happen about a year ago. After a year of slightly abnormal tests, my body cleared the displaysia all on its own. I’m not married yet, no kids and I (probably needlessly) worried about putting the latter at risk. Thus, I’ve been celebrating ever since. I was so so happy to read that you’d had a similar outcome and congratulations- both on the bump and the contentment. What a wonderful time to take a deep breath.
September 8th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
Ihave wanted to slam the clock and stop it so many times. I’m finally getting that that is not a viable option
September 8th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Time is such a fickle beast, sometimes giving us eons at the dentist while also making our 7 hours of nighttime sleep go by in the wink of an eye. I can’t ever figure it out. And probably never will.
September 8th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Fantastic.
September 8th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
That clock speeds up the older you get. Tempus fugit. Damn.
September 8th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
I am so gladdened by the reports of your pap smear. And by your pregnancy. My mother said throughout my childhood, “Life is full of peaks and valleys.” I sincerely hope you see nothing but peaks for a good, long while.
September 8th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
SO wonderful. I know that things change, but I hope this “normal” is one of those things that doesn’t.
September 8th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
That’s wonderful news!
September 8th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
That the last pap was clear is wonderful to hear.
There is a country western song by Tracy Lawrence that I love because it says: the only thing that stays the same is everything
changes, everything changes.
September 8th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
I wish I could reach through these virtual wires and just give you the biggest hug. This is such fabulous and happy news! Hooray!!!
September 8th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
That is such FANTASTIC news! I’m so happy for you Sandy!!
September 8th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
That’s great news! You are truly blessed by God. You’re right, bask in the NOW.
September 9th, 2009 at 12:09 am
Maybe your immune system kicked some high grade ass! I hope those nasty cells are gone for good…I don’t know how likely that is but we can hope. I’m happy for you and your string of happy events in your life. I hope it continues. You sure deserve it!
September 9th, 2009 at 12:52 am
Every time something turns out the good way instead of the other is good reason to celebrate. I`m smiling for all of your good news and hope it keeps rolling that way for a good long while.
September 9th, 2009 at 1:10 am
Wonderful news on the pap smear! Praise God!
September 9th, 2009 at 1:46 am
Its awesome when you are able to realize in the moment, how wonderful it is and you can truly appreciate it.
SO glad you got that great news.
xoxo
September 9th, 2009 at 2:20 am
I just wanted to tell you that I suffered with the same conditions with the precancerous cells, the procedures, and with holding your breath hoping things just stay NORMAL with each pap. I’m glad that everything came out normal, and understand how good it feels to be grateful. When doctors shrug and say ‘it happens’..well, who’s gonna argue? It’s great news.
September 9th, 2009 at 10:01 am
That is so AWESOME! What a blessing. I am so happy for you! God has answered your prayers for another little one, and then some! Congrats, Sandy!
September 9th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
I am so happy for you! What wonderful news!! Relax and enjoy this, you deserve it!
(and how do you have the energy to be posting so much? I’m exhausted!)
September 9th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Absolutely fantastic! Don’t questions it, just bask….
September 9th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
How exciting. Yay!
September 9th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Yayyyy….soo happy for you. You deserve this more than anyone!!!
September 9th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
Oh, that’s so great! I hope your good news trend lasts forever!
September 10th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Big hugs!
September 11th, 2009 at 4:55 am
HUGE hugs going your way..such GREAT news..
September 14th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Yay! That’s great, miraculous news.
September 16th, 2009 at 7:04 am
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September 18th, 2009 at 8:08 pm