I’m Not “The Help”
Usually I’m not a violent person. Usually. However, if ONE MORE PERSON asks me if I’m the nanny, babysitter, helper, or au pair for my daughter, I may start throwing punches, obscenities, or fingers in the air! And I don’t care if it’s a 90-year old woman in her electric scooter in the cereal isle. Seriously. Are we not in the 21st century? Sure, I’m Asian and my daughter looks Caucasian, so? Did it ever occur to anyone that she looks like her father? Is it really necessary to stare? And why must I be “the help?”
So in lieu of Thursday 13, I present some of the most tactless questions I’ve been asked and clever comebacks I should have replied with (but didn’t because I’m slow):
1) Question- She’s darling. Is she yours?
2) Answer- No, I checked her out at the library. She’s due back in 2 weeks.
3) Question- Are you her mom?
4) Answer- No, I’m just pretending.
5) Question- She is so cute! Are you babysitting?
6) Answer- Yeah and I need a bathroom break, do you mind?’ *walk away for a while* (suggested by Rachael)
7) Question- Are you “the nanny?”
8 ) Answer- Yes, and I’m sleeping with my boss.
9) Question- Oh hi! Are you her Au Pair?
10) Answer- Uh… perdón. No habla ingles.
11) Question- Are you helping out her mom today?
12) Answer- Yes, I’m restraining her from strangling you right now.
13) 1 more for good measure- Answer: I’m actually helping out quite a bit today. I’m teaching morons like you a lesson in being tactful!
Feel free to add more in the Comments. I’m sure they’ll be put to good use shortly.
(Me and my hybrid kid 2006)
I was there when she was born…I promise, she’s mine.
WOW! I can’t get over that! Some people are so clueless and just plain rude! I don’t get it! So sorry you have to deal with that crap! I don’t have any comebacks now, but I will let you know if any pop into my head…
Sometimes I think of comebacks too late when people ask these off the wall questions. My mind’s gotta get quicker!
Angela’s last blog post..Why Don’t Minorities Pursue Science and Engineering?
March 6th, 2008 at 8:53 am
i used to get that ALL the time…are they yours? give me a break! if they weren’t mine, why would i be wasting my time hanging out with small children? don’t you think i have better things to do with my life!
actually…people are asking you that because of how young you look! just tell them she is your baby sister!!
but, sadly…people are just stupid and moronic and don’t know when to keep their mouths shut!!
xoxo
March 6th, 2008 at 9:07 am
I think you guys have the same hair, forehead and eyebrows… I see you in her. My son doesn’t look a thing like me. Or his father, for that matter. I don’t have to deal with moronic questions, though. I personally like response #7.
March 6th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Great post! I don’t know how you manage to not throttle these people.
One time my asian friend Talos and I were eating lunch at our favorite Chinese buffet. When we were in line, one of the customers came over to him and asked if he could bring them some egg rolls. I mean he’s asian, so he must work there right? If Talos had punched the guy in the face right there I woulda not minded one bit, but being the person he is he laughed it off and told the guy he didn’t work there and went about getting his food.
Sometimes people can be stupid and insensitive. I’m glad you can have a sense of humor about it.
Ged’s last blog post..Futurama’s Future
March 6th, 2008 at 9:20 am
People are truly assholes. LOL
Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..Weekly Winners XV
March 6th, 2008 at 9:28 am
I really think you should use one of these comebacks on someone then maybe next time they think to ask a stupid question like this they’ll remember to not ask it.
Britni’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #23: Thirteen of my Favorite Carrie Underwood and Keith Urban Songs
March 6th, 2008 at 9:41 am
I’m speechless. Utterly speechless. I can’t even imagine what I’d say if this happened to me. I agree; at least you’re turning it into something funny. Beats being charged with assaulting a 91-year-old on her scooter!
Toni’s last blog post..It’s Raining Poo!
March 6th, 2008 at 9:44 am
Good grief! That’s terrible! But your comebacks are clever…
Seeing you and your little girl, though, honestly? I would think you are her mother. The hair, the dark eyes…the fact that people would assume that you aren’t kind of makes me wonder about the world.
March 6th, 2008 at 9:45 am
I get that all the time too. Hubby is Japanese and the babe looks like him!
grace’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #34
March 6th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Hmmm…maybe you should move to Canada. Here we have the perception that Asians are highly trained professional people. Maybe a computer geek or a doctor or a musician or a highly trained pediatric nurse, sharp and witty. You do look very young in the photo. I think your daughter looks a lot like you. People are funny. They probably don’t mean any malice. I think they stop you because Ella is a such a doll and they want any excuse just to look at her. My first two children were only 11 months apart. When Becky was around three (she was a tiny little peanut) and Jonathan was two (he was a chunk) people always stopped me in the grocery store and asked if they were twins. Well I didn’t want to have to explain to the general public that I was pregnant at my 6 week post partum exam! I used to tell them yes! I would elaborate on the pregnancy, the birth, and what ever else came up in my fertile imagination. Hahaha! I think that you should come up a few wild stories and have fun with this. It would also be good blogging material. I think I would pick retort number 11. I would make up a whole profile about her. It has to be subtle while at the same time be insane. Her mom could be a 70 old woman who…………….and needs help!
Christine’s last blog post..You Are Getting Warm
March 6th, 2008 at 9:52 am
#4 made me laugh out loud.
Question- She’s darling. Is she yours?
Is what mine? When they point out the little one, act as if you don’t see her.
Question- Are you her mom?
No. (Drop your voice to a whisper) “I pinched her from another woman. But don’t tell…” And then stare at them. Throw in a twitch for good measure.
Question- She is so cute! Are you babysitting?
Babysitting? No, why would I babysit MY OWN CHILD????
Question- Oh hi! Are you her Au Pair?
Death stare. Just stand looking at them, and don’t look away or blink. You’ll see their expressions change after a few seconds, and then they’ll start to look away nervously. It’s great fun. I do it to my customers all the time. It probably helps that I have eyes like Chad Kroger, though.
Question- Are you helping out her mom today?
“Her mom? I am her mom. Why would you think anything different? Don’t I look like her mom? Don’t you think she has my eyes? Aren’t they adorable? Don’t you think she looks just like me?” As they start to answer, cut them off with another question. Repeat until they back away.
Solomon Broad’s last blog post..Things I’m Grateful For on Thursday 6 March
March 6th, 2008 at 9:54 am
People can be soo thoughtless. Great come backs though!!
With my son people say daft things to, so i do know how it feels.
Casdok’s last blog post..Star trek the future?
March 6th, 2008 at 10:05 am
ROFL!! GOOD POST! But I have to say…She looks like YOU!! Both beautiful girls;o) Thanks for sharing and I am JUST the same at being slow with the quick witted comebacks, give me a day or so and I can come up with some GOOD ones! Have a great day;o)
Crystal’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday, LOL!
March 6th, 2008 at 10:11 am
i think she looks more asian now that she’s older. i like “No, I checked her out at the library. She’s due back i’m usually good at comebacks. in 2 weeks.” but i mean really what business is it of there’s anyway? how does the answer change their lives? i would be so annoyed. how about when someone says “is she yours?” you respond, “no, we stole her but shhh don’t tell!” then wink and run off. even better if you’re in a store and leave everything you were going to buy!
jameil1922’s last blog post..Project Runway: Season 4 Finale!!
March 6th, 2008 at 10:32 am
Why? Why are people such morons???!
Sister Honey Bunch’s last blog post..I’m Afraid of the Monkey’s Paw
March 6th, 2008 at 10:34 am
And P.S. People need to shut. up.
Sister Honey Bunch’s last blog post..I’m Afraid of the Monkey’s Paw
March 6th, 2008 at 10:35 am
lol at soloman and this whole damn post.
before…everything conspired to make me feel and look 10 years older and especially when pregnant, i got a lot of nanny/teenage mom comments. and since people were such assholes about it, i figure, that’s carte blanche to return the favour.
so:
“is she yours?”
“um, *sniff*, she’s my *sniff* sister. my mom just passed away and our dad hasn’t *sniff* been around for a while, so *sniff* i’m all she’s got. but it’s just *sniff* SO HARD. i didn’t *sniff* know that it would be this *sniff* hard and sometimes, i get so mad at my *sniff* mother for not getting that lump checked *sniff**sniff**sniff* out…” [continue until they are visibly uncomfortable...leading towards a climax of how your boyfriend left you when you adopted your 'sister' and that you think he might have been cheating on you because you found {insert very comfort stealing thing} in with his stuff when you packed id. the whole time, don't actually cry, just be on the verge. someone knowing you could lose it at any point=very uncomfortable encounter]
then, as you’re walking away, start laughing.
zoeyjane’s last blog post..Just Sayin’
March 6th, 2008 at 10:53 am
hahaha – this is funny because it’s TRUE!
My oldest and my youngest are completely white skinned (they tan amazingly though -a golden tan, not an asian tan). I get this all the time -esp when the youngest’s hair was BLONDE.
People are morons.
But my second one, he’s TOTALLY asian looking. And when he’s with the others in our family that are white, people are all “look! They adopted an asian baby!”. Total morons.
VHMPrincess’s last blog post..going green!
March 6th, 2008 at 11:10 am
This is an adorable photo of you and Ella … and I’m amazed at the list you’ve compiled here. People can certainly be strange (and intrusively insensitive) so perhaps they ‘need’ a lesson in manners? I loved (and laughed aloud) at the 2nd part of each of these … your mind is a wondrous thing Sandy!
Hugs and blessings,
storyteller’s last blog post..(Wordless) Thursday Thirteen #15
March 6th, 2008 at 11:34 am
You rule, Sandy.
That’s all I have to say about that.
Rebecca’s last blog post..Roll call… Please?
March 6th, 2008 at 11:36 am
While she doesn’t look exactly like you, she’s got your eyes. You can tell she’s yours.
Stupid people!!
Even if she wasn’t biologically yours, what kind of moronic ass asks that kind of question?
Sarah’s last blog post..Happy Leap Day
March 6th, 2008 at 11:45 am
well done on your restraint!! I don’t think i’d have been so good! lol
Ella is gorgeous and you can definitely tell she’s yours, you look a lot alike (and YES that’s a compliment for you too… gorgeous lady.. yes I’m jealous… !!).
Good comebacks
I really should think up some more interesting TT’s than I have so far *sigh*
Marylin’s last blog post..Uncle Bill 3/3/1911-4/3/2007
March 6th, 2008 at 11:47 am
For what it’s worth, I think she looks a lot like you. You’re both adorable.
Daddy Dan’s last blog post..John McCain
March 6th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Gosh, people can be such Morons.
Be glad you don’t live in Kuwait……I’m not gonna digg deeper into that matter, but the way Asians are treated here is beyond anything
And yeah, I love comments like “Oh, he’s a big boy, isn’t he?” regarding my Labrador.
Big meaning fat in this case.
I just wanna strangle them :S
March 6th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Unfortunately, you’re not the only one. My cousins who are both based abroad, get that a lot too. Some people are too rude.
One bit of rudeness that I encountered which makes me soooo mad is when people remark about how I speak English well. I always say, “I had an English nanny.”
Menchie’s last blog post..It’s Just Too Early………
March 6th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
I love answer #8.
People are giant asses.
Your girl is beautiful, and I see a lot of you in her.
Jennifer H’s last blog post..(Not) too cool for school
March 6th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
OH. MY. GAWD!!!! Girl, you had me ROFLMAO!!!
Lesson #1 ~ people are STUPID. some can’t even help themselves. really. sad but true.
Lesson #2 ~ people that are THE most ignorant seem to open their mouths THE most! again they some times cannot help themselves. sad, but yet again VERY true!
Lesson #3 ~ these people listed in #1 & especially in #2 say WHATEVER it is ~ which is usually very little and nothing bright ~ on their minds.
Lesson #4 ~ these people are EVERY. FREAKIN’. WHERE!!! scary. sad. and again, unfortunate but true.
Lesson #5 ~ the questions will get more annoying, less intelligent and some times will come in groups! be prepared, just give them the look… oh come on… you know THA LOOK! That look that just SCREAMS ~ don’t effing talk to me. yeah she is cute! duh! i know this… and i know this b/c she is MY daughter! flesh and blood. Keep walkin’ Keep it walkin’! That’s right… don’t even look back at us again. ~ yeah. that look!!
Let me tell you. Wow. the things that these “special” people have asked me about having three kids, and having twins and all that… UHHHH!! I could just scream, and I could probably write a book and I could also probably write some good stand up comedy with it… people are ASSES!! bottom line!
By the way I think the answer to #11 was my favorite!!
I think Ella looks like your daughter… duh! for good reason b/c she is… but really I think she looks like both you and your husband. forget those people that can’t help but have diarrhea of the mouth and when they open it to speak some stupid shit comes out. 
Jenn’s last blog post..Kisses, Ice Cream, Monkeys…
March 6th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
That’s hilarious! But also, ridiculous! She totally looks like you, I can’t believe people are so rude as to say those things. They really do deserve a rude answer back.
skiplovey’s last blog post..Perhaps a little of the spring fever
March 6th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
She’s beautiful and she looks like you. So what is their problem?? Have they never seen a mixed race baby? Do they not get out much?
I actually do remember other mixed-race couples telling me that people in the U.S.A. are weirder about the race thing. Here in Toronto I can’t imagine people saying that. Maybe in some neighborhoods. But downtown… not in a heartbeat.
Aurora’s last blog post..Surprise! Peer-editing Time!
March 6th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I don’t get that kinda response at all – my kids look just like me and I am not anywhere near as young & beautiful as you. Good Lord! Besides, your daughter looks just like you in that picture. And, anyways, there’s no excuse for those nimrods to open their pie holes and vomit all over you like that. That is just bad upbringing.
carrie’s last blog post..Thanks Mom!
March 6th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I have adopted siblings who are African American and I would get all kinds of rude questions and dirty looks. Ironically they assumed they were mine but that I was their fertile teenage mother (They were 3, 5, and 7 when I was 16). You can only imagine the lovely things people said about my lifestyle. blah blah.
That being said I think your daughter looks like your daughter and that it’s so odd that people harass you over it.
March 6th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
People are so rude!!!! A few years ago when my hubby was still active duty he was coming home off a deployment. I was standing on the pier with our 4 kids and some one had the nerve to ask me how long I have been doing day care and why didn’t I take the day off. I guess I looked at them odd as I told her what day care kids? these are all ours because they walked away and never spoke to me again. I am dark haired/darker skinned (Hispanic) and my kids are blond and blue.
I really like the library answer. I was out with my grand baby and someone came up and asked is he mine and I told them I found him over is isle 3 and they are one sale. Next time I will use the library one!
Jenn’s last blog post..Not Wordless Wednesday
March 6th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Well, you’re both beautiful, and other people are ijits who need a can of ShutYerFace opened on them.
Luckily, you know how to handle yourself with the sharp comebacks!
cynematic’s last blog post..Unable to Mind My Own Beeswax Update, part 3
March 6th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
You go tell em, girl!
I’ve not thought about that, until you brought it up, but I suppose you do have to put up with all those questions.. Love your answers too.
LB’s last blog post..A Happy iPort in Disguise
March 6th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Okay, um, she looks enough like you for any idiot to know where she came from. You must have exceptional idiots where you live. Good grief.
karen’s last blog post..Just A Little Bit Of This, And A Little Bit Of That
March 6th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
How could anyone NOT see that this beautiful child belongs to you? She has your wonderful big, dark eyes. How about saying to any of those stupid questions “Why would you think that?” Then sit back and watch them squirm.
March 6th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
YOUR daughter is beautiful! It’s crazy how things just pop out of people’s mouths without so much as a single thought. It only takes a second to pause and think KINDNESS before we speak anything. If we can’t do that then we should smile and say nothing. Have a great day!
Brenda’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #3–Flagstaff, AZ According to Jeff Foxworthy
March 6th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Geez! You and your daughter are so beautiful! I still think she looks a lot like you. I don’t care what those idgets say. You know… I really do love the one about yes, I’m the nanny and I’m sleeping with my boss. You’d get some horrified looks. Hilarious. Oh, if I were closer, we could terrorize tactless folk with our humor. Too bad too bad.
Ashley’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen No. 7
March 6th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
I heard you Sandy…and I just can’t help from laughing at your answers here!
And you both look beautiful and certainly there is THAT bond between you that those questions shouldn’t be asked in the first place…
Mariposa’s last blog post..Need A Reason To Smile?
March 6th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Ugh that’s so rude. I have a cousin who has darker skin and hair. Her daughter is very fair-skinned and has medium brown hair. She told me she had her little girl at the park and some bouncy idiot came up to her and just started gushing, “Oh wow! Is that Bob and Carol’s little girl?? She’s so big now. You must be new.” My cousin wanted to slap the woman flat. I can’t even imagine. Noah doesn’t look all that much like me, but I’ve never had this happen. How terrible. I applaud your responses for not being filled with !@$#%$@#^%#@$#@ like mine would be to this!!!
Tasina’s last blog post..Hammy
March 6th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
I think people ask you that NOT because your daughter looks different than you, but because you look so young. Take it as a compliment. You’ll enjoy looking youthful as you get older! In a couple years, they’ll be asking you if you’re sisters!
Nissa’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen – Google keyword searches
March 6th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I agree its probably more about how young you look, because mama, you do. and quite frankly, i dont see how they dont get it – your heads of hair are both beautiful.
i can’t believe they said anything, really!
Although my then fiance and I were asked if his sister was ours – we were 20 and she was about 6– umm no? and both of us look young, too! now she’s 14 and i dont think anyone would make that mistake, she’s taller than me!
jill’s last blog post..On forums, discussions, and censorship…
March 6th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
too funny!!!! you should start using those for sure! i need to make a clever list for people asking me if i am having another baby already. okay, jerks, some of us just keep the belly longer than others! ugh!!! happy TT to another intelligent human out there!
Natalie’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen – 3rd Edition
March 6th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
People are dumb. Very dumb.
I think your answers are very funny…apparently I have developed a pretty good stink eye look, because the last time somebody said something annoying to me, I just looked at them and they left.
julie’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen: The Mini Edition
March 6th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
It was usually assumed when we lived in Westport Connecticut that I was my son’s nanny. Was it my clothes? My brown hair beside his blonde? I think mostly it was the neighborhood. Even the SAHMs had help and it was just expected that the one running normal errands and everyday playground trips was “the help” (Mommies only did playdates and Mommy & me classes). Weird.
TX Poppet’s last blog post..If It’s Good Enough for Christina Aguilera, It’s Good Enough for Me
March 6th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a person with a baby and assumed it wasn’t theirs. What is wrong with people?
ALF’s last blog post..What Kind Of A Party Serves Barley?
March 6th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Stupid people.
I totally see you in her.
And, even if she was a blond with blue eyes, I would never assume that you were not her mom.
Rude.
MommyCosm’s last blog post..Instant Diagnosis…
March 6th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Well, whatever is going on with the idiots out there in the world, at the very least I can be grateful that their idiocy has prompted you to publish an excellent photograph of two
very lovelyabsolutely gorgeous people – the mother and daughter in question.Lou Lohman’s last blog post..Seven Random Things Meme
March 6th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
People are so flipping STUPID!!!!
My hubby and I both have brown hair. Now. When I was little I had light blond hair. And right now, all three of my boys have blond hair. Anyway, we took them to a restaurant and proceeded to listen to a man trying to guess where we got our kids from since, “they obviously aren’t theirs!”. WHAT THE HELL??? Who does that? Everyone around us heard to.
And I know you keep saying that your daughter doesn’t look anything like you, but I think she does! Very much! She is beautiful, just like you!
Kathryn’s last blog post..I’m So Loved
March 6th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
I know it may sound silly but I guess it could work:
Question: Are you her mom?
Answer: No, I’m actually her father, you don’t tell though, do you?
Indigo Eyebrow’s last blog post..Distances
March 6th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
My God!
The comments are as good as the post itself!
Jeeezz, how stupid can people get?
Oh I don’t mean the ones commenting here, but the ones stopping you on the street!
I agree with Christine and some of the others, it’s because you look so young, so that’s a compliment right?
Jientje’s last blog post..Thirsday thirteen … Thirteen Posts that got Stuck in my Keyboard …
March 6th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
A few more for you:
A: No. I just rented her at the Kids Rental Place a few blocks over. They have very nice selections.
A: I stoled her from her mom. Do you want to call the cops? Here a phone.
A: Unless pushing her out of my vajayjay makes me her nanny.
Jennic’s last blog post..Sweet tooth
March 6th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Oh my gosh! You are absolutely gorgeous!!!!! And I think she looks like you…people are just rude. Just start telling people, what Jennic said…that you stole her in your BEST asian accent!
Hehe. And you do look incredibly young.
Meagan’s last blog post..Ugh woe is me!
March 6th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
I personally think you should devise a wonderful, long, boring story about how you’re her surrogate mother – maybe you could throw in that you have visitation and this is your day and how hard it is to give her back to the black family that hired you.
I agree – I think she looks like you, very much. Some people are SO-o stupid. When my daughter was about 6-8 months old we were in the store. She was wearing a pretty pink dress, patent leather Mary Jane shoes, and a bow in her hair. I was told that she was a “cute little boy.”
Eve’s last blog post..13 Ways to Eat a Potato
March 6th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Oh my, hilarious!! I hope one day you actually use one of those awesome comebacks! I love when I’m out with my girls when some moron asks wow are they all yours? No I enjoy taking random children to the grocery store with me. Geez!
BTW, I have something for you on my blog.
amy’s last blog post..What I Got
March 6th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
I suggest you look, act and sound outraged when someone asks you that. Then very likely that person will never ask that question of anyone again. One down.
March 6th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
First of all, she’s gorgeous (so are you, by the way). Secondly, I think she looks a lot like you. Thirdly, she looks more Asian by a lot than my kids, whose father in Japanese — and yet people often look askance at mine and ask me “What’s their father?” I’m always tempted to reply with the name of an animal, an inanimate object, or a descriptor like “a convict” (he is none of these) — but then I think it might reflect poorly on the poor kiddos, so I keep my mouth shut. Long story short, your comebacks are far better, and I suggest you use them all. Also, the people asking those questions are nuts.
hugs from one who’s been there…
MommyTime’s last blog post..Oh that sneaky bathtub…
March 6th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Sweet picture! I have to admit that I asked the same question of some moms. You live in a bigger city right? I did too and most often the people with the kids at the playground were the nannys. My landlord who was a stay home dad and I would go and mostly they we saw Eastern European nannies so they were all caucasian but you could never assume. Maybe try to turn it around to make yourself feel good by thinking they are saying these dumb things because you have aged so well and look so young
Or get yourself a t-shirt that says NOT the Nanny
But pretty funny comments
sister sassy’s last blog post..I’m Afraid of the Monkey’s Paw
March 6th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
You could tell them you stole her from Brad and Angelina.
Stupid people should be shot.
How do you feel about standardized testing? I’ve posted 13 Anti-NCLB Sentiments to mark the end of a stressful testing week.
Happy TT!
cajunvegan’s last blog post..Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble (TT 35)
March 6th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Bwaaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaaaa!!!!
We so need to get together and cause havoc. The help and the bad mother. People are so……. well they suck.
Boo’s teacher, a very blonde blue eyed woman is married to an African American guy (very rare here in rural Australia) I can only imagine what people will say when they have a baby!
Kelley’s last blog post..Randomness on drugs
March 6th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
People just don’t have a clue, do they. She looks a lot like you!!!
My girlfriend used to get that a lot when her kids were younger… a lot of glares if they were acting up as toddlers, and comments about not doing a good job!!! It’s that Asian thing… sigh. She’s a flippin’ lawyer, VP, mama, thank you very much.
I haven’t got a lot of that, even though little g looks mostly Caucasian… mind you, a lot of people think I’m a *hybrid* (you are too hilarious, Sandy!)
Karen MEG’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen
March 6th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Your Asian? Having a daughter that looks JUST LIKE her father, I soooo can relate. Except no one ever mistakes me for the nanny because I am not hot and young. There was a compliment in there somewhere for you!
To be blunt: You are beautiful. And young. And hot. And your daughter is beautiful too, and frankly, I see you in her!
Love your answers!!
Nola’s last blog post..Do You Believe in Coincidence?
March 6th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
As so many others have stated people really are morons.. it amazes that they are able to function in everyday life being such ass’s.
your comeback.. regardless of when you thought of them are classic.. LOVE IT..
you and your daughter are beautiful..
Kim’s last blog post..Another Babble Babble Post
March 6th, 2008 at 11:15 pm
i dont understand those ppl. dont they know that there are mixed parentage, mixed marriage, etc…me oso like u, very slow in answering ppl, but when i get home, i will think of those nasty answers that i shd have said..hehe…
wen’s last blog post..Chicken Rice In Rice Cooker
March 6th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
You and your Daughter are verry dute.this being said how about saying”that is non of you business”
Oh,by the way.I have added you to my blog roll part 2
March 6th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
You are very patient. In your position I think I would have slapped someone in the face before long.
nicholas’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #48
March 7th, 2008 at 12:37 am
I love number seven…
And just because you were there when she was born, doesn’t mean she is yours. I mean, you could have just, like, I don’t know, been a nurse that kidnapped the kid….or like sat in the waiting room while your white friend who has a dark headed husband gave birth….
AtomiK Kitten’s last blog post..Blog reading level
March 7th, 2008 at 12:57 am
Coincidence??? My friend – who just entered the blogworld, just posted about the EXACT SAME THING – except she’s uber-white, and her hubs is Korean… It’s amazing what folks will say/assume…
Here’s the link to her post: http://blozulfog.wordpress.com/2008/03/05/yes-those-are-my-children/
jennyonthespot’s last blog post..I promise
March 7th, 2008 at 1:15 am
For what it’s worth, I’ve always seen a resemblance between you and that cute little girl you babysit.
Seriously – you’re both gorgeous, and people are idiots. Whatever you really do wind up saying, I hope it shames them. It’s a beautiful world full of many amazing colors, and they just live there. How sad for them.
Kelly’s last blog post..For the Geeks Among Us
March 7th, 2008 at 1:54 am
Wow…I’m amazed at the questions you get. There are a lot of mixed Asian and Caucasian children at where I currently live, and I’ve never heard any comments like that. Geez…these people are so ignorant!
Linda’s last blog post..Halle Berry to Join the Perfume Force
March 7th, 2008 at 2:35 am
This is one more lesson in blogosphere which may prove to come in handy one day. Though it seems unlikely someone will ever take an old man for a nanny, in the company of my granddaughter I’m not out of danger of silly questions.
So, I’m trying to memorize (at least) the answers of number 2 and 12.
colson’s last blog post..Newsflash: http://WWW.TITLEPAGE.TV.
March 7th, 2008 at 3:55 am
Sorry that you have to experience that, but your answer are brilliant!
Can’t believe that people can be so clueless sometimes.
Have a great weekend Sandy
Ecky’s last blog post..Eleven Minutes
March 7th, 2008 at 4:22 am
I am forwarding this to a friend who had a similar problem (although her kids look Asian and she is Argentinian). When she was pregnant with the second, older Asian women would stop her and say, critically, “Same father?”
Emily R’s last blog post..NHS and me (part two)
March 7th, 2008 at 6:59 am
Yikes, Sandy, that’s awful. She’s adorable, however. When she gets a bit older and her sense of humor comes out, they’ll know she’s yours.
Jen of a2eatwrite’s last blog post..One Love for Liv Blog Tour and What’s Cooking “Wednesday: “Salmon a la Liv”
March 7th, 2008 at 7:53 am
Dude, her hair and eyes are a dead give away that she’s yours…people are freaks. I was asked that question all the time when my boys were younger. I had my first at 19, and it was so much easier to drop the baby weight then, so everyone assumed I was their sister…it drove me mad, too. You know, look on the bright side…you’re so young and thin that people can’t believe you’ve had a baby. That’s the ticket! Plus, what else would you blog about if people weren’t asses? =]
Victoria’s last blog post..A Friend in Deed or Just in Theory?
March 7th, 2008 at 8:27 am
When I looked at your picture I thought that maybe people say that because you look so young. Really, you look so young.
March 7th, 2008 at 8:54 am
No matter who you are, people will ask dumb questions…
“Are they all yours?” (we have 6 kids)
“no, I picked up a few strays from the side of the road.”
or the military ones…
“Don’t you miss him?”
“well, duh, of course I miss him…”
or the parenting ones…
“is that baby STILL nursing?”
“Is that ANY of your business?!?”
Yes, stupid questions get me every time…of course a grain of salt goes a long ways! It sounds like you’re a great mom…keep up the good work!
Laura’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #9
March 7th, 2008 at 9:08 am
She looks like you! I don’t know what those crack addicts are talking about, but they are obviously blind!
She has your eyebrows almost exactly, and your face clearly shines in hers.
Scylla’s last blog post..Seven Days and Seven Nights…
March 7th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
This happens to me too. The weirdest one was “What country did you adopt your baby from?” Excuse me, I was there and gave birth to him!
Yertle’s last blog post..Haiku Friday
March 7th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
How tackless! I’m so sorry you have comments like this to deal with.
Great answers!
Beth’s last blog post..Sugar! Sugar!
March 7th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
I think she looks like you too!
Beth’s last blog post..Sugar! Sugar!
March 7th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
You both are GORGEOUS btw!
Beth’s last blog post..Sugar! Sugar!
March 7th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
I really think they (at least some of them) probably mean it as a compliment (that you look too young to be her mom). You’re beautiful and they’re probably complimenting you in their own odd way.
I get that, too (and my kids look quite a bit like me). I’ve also heard, “Is she your sister?” (referring to my daughter, who’s considerably older than your daughter).
Maybe there’s a really positive take away here…I dunno.
I’m always lookin’ for the silver lining…
soapb mom’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
March 7th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Some people are so damned ignorant.
I don’t think you look that different, to be honest.
Sheesh!
Have a good weekend :]
Heather’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
March 8th, 2008 at 3:50 am
I see a lot of you in your little girl, Sandy. I get the same thing though..I have very dark hair and dark eyes. My girls are very blonde, with light colored eyes. They look nothing like me.
Angela’s last blog post..This is How We Roll
March 8th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Um, it’s not like she is blonde and blue eyed? Idiots. She totally looks like you.
March 8th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Yeah, there are a lot of stupid people out there and it’s unfortunate. Why do some folks always feel the need to get into your business at the grocery store or while you’re trying to buy socks at Target?
Michelle’s last blog post..The Perfect Handbag…Part Two
March 8th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
I’m used to being questioned about my kids too… Today, at the supermarket, two (nice) ladies asked me if my youngest son was a girl (okay, he’s 18months old, but still doesn’t look like a girl and he had no pink t-shirt on!) and then, looking at me (8months pregnant) they asked me if I ever feed myself. I was on the point of breaking some heavy lines, then again I said what difference would it make for them? I answered politely, with the sweetest smile on earth “oh, but I do! it’s just that normally, I’m a lot thinner than that”.
When they asked the dumb questions, my husband was getting something I forgot, he wasn’t there but when he came back with the eldest boy, I saw the (nice) ladies going helicopter on us. Fortunately, they didn’t asked nothing else…
PEople can be so embarrassing (for themselves) sometimes.
kpriss’s last blog post..How About Some Vintage?
March 8th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
See, and *I* think it’s b/c you look so YOUTHFUL!
But I get it – I got po’d while I was teaching and had parents tell me I didn’t look old enough.
Dawn’s last blog post..NaNoWriMonday – 3:4
March 10th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Although Ella doesn’t look exactly like you – you both have similarities (looking at her recent pics). I wonder. But you reminded me of a friend who gets thrown these very same questions everyday!
mama meji’s last blog post..I No Longer Fit Into This Stiletto
March 10th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
HOW RUDE!! People never cease to amaze me! My brother is married to a lovely Japanese lady and together they have two boys. One looks so much like her, and the other is a reincarnate of our father.
If you ask me, it’s a beautiful blend!!
Grandy’s last blog post..My Readers ROCK!!
March 13th, 2008 at 1:29 am
[...] of my friends and readers who have stuck with me throughout this month of transition despite the rants, whine, and chaos. Your comments and support (especially while hubby being so absent) mean so much. [...]
March 13th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
When my husband takes our kids out to the playground, the inevitable questions comes up whether they are adopted. When he says no, I’m sure they are thinking under their breath – Oh, you must have a mail order bride.
December 22nd, 2008 at 5:21 pm