I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk. Get you love drunk off my hump.
All right people, try to focus.
What I’m about to show you is not a side of me I allow just anyone to see.
Don’t get too excited. There are no nude photos in this post.
Still here?
Okay. Now that my second trimester is coming to a close, my appetite has taken on a life of it’s own.
A ravenous, get-the-hell-outta-my-way-or-else-you’ll-eat-dirt kind of hunger has reared it’s ugly head. Particularly if Nilla wafers or ice cream is involved.
Trust me. It is not pretty.
Much like my whale-ish body.
Anyhow, last night I prepared a delicious dinner favorite in our home, spaghetti and meatballs.
Of course, before any of the dinner was actually served, I dipped some of the cooked pasted into sauce and shoved it into my mouth when no one was looking.
Sans utensils.
I was doing my best to wait for Dadisodes to come home so we could have dinner together. However, I’m pregnant and incessantly hungry. A little taste was not going to hurt anyone. I was also trying my hardest to keep my demure, yet domestically hot MILF ensemble free of any unsightly tomato stains.
See?
Try and control yourselves now. I know my reversible fleece jacket and blue Care Bear socks cannot be ignored. They turn heads all the time. The socks even have rubber grips on the bottom so that I won’t slip and break a hip. Just in case I suddenly get pinned down in the head of passion.
When Dadisodes finally arrived home for dinner, I rushed over to give him a warm embrace. His frozen cheeks melted against mine.
And as I gently stepped back while staring deeply into his hazel eyes, I slowly began to unzip my top, and…well…
I have no idea how Dadisodes is able to resist ravaging me at the door.
But this was not what I had in mind as an appetizer before dinner.
So is this what it is like to have a ‘rack’?
This comes under the loose heading of “Adventures in Procreation”. Hey. Wait a minute. I thought he was supposed to be celibate. Okay then. I guess you won’t be needing the batteries.
lceel´s last blog ..A little more meandering
December 22nd, 2009 at 8:50 pm
@lceel- Did you see my granny get-up? The pasted food? And the SOCKS! I don’t even want to touch me.
December 22nd, 2009 at 8:53 pm
YOU are too cute. I love it
Thank you for posting the ice meltingly ‘hot’ pics of you 
rachel-asouthernfairytale´s last blog ..Picnik’s Get One, Gift One Holiday Giveaway
December 22nd, 2009 at 8:55 pm
You sexy mama, you!
Jenners´s last blog ..Our Annual Holiday Trip to NYC
December 22nd, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Ha! That just rocks.
Rebecca (Ramblings by Reba)´s last blog ..Peppermint bark: reason #7654 I love my husband
December 22nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
HAHAHAHA I love it. And I’d say yes, this is what it’s like to have a rack, I have more than i’d like to admit taken off my shirt at night only to have stuff fall out of it
Thank you for sharing this I needed a good laugh 
And slipper socks and fleeces are the height of sexy, no? If not, I’ve been going about this very wrong indeed!
MBonn´s last blog ..What’s wrong with me? Let’s start here.
December 22nd, 2009 at 9:19 pm
I think you’re sexy. If your hubby doesn’t, we ladies will come over and smack some sense into him.
The Mother´s last blog ..I’ll Be Home for Christmas (When I Wander In…)
December 22nd, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Love the ensemble. Maybe I should get a matching one for London
Alana @ The Good Girl Gone Blog´s last blog ..Very content
December 22nd, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Dude, shut up. Pasta is hot.
Boston Mamas´s last blog ..Simplifying Gift Wrapping
December 22nd, 2009 at 9:33 pm
*snort* you are funny! The whole ensemble, including the noodles, is wonderful.
Tara R.´s last blog ..Happy 101: Top Ten
December 22nd, 2009 at 9:48 pm
That is so awesome. Just think of it as a little saver for later. You never know when you’re going to want a little nosh.
Cara´s last blog ..Sleepnanigans
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:07 pm
Haha! The shelf comes in handy, doesn’t it?
Asianmommy´s last blog ..Doughnut Snowmen
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:37 pm
HAHAHAHAHA. Dirty girl!
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:39 pm
This may be the funniest post I have read in days. Weeks even. You’re the bestest!
Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com´s last blog ..Wake That Teacher Up
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:47 pm
Wow! That belly is really starting to poke out there. I want to see another sideways shot!
Carrie´s last blog ..One of these things is very similar to the others….
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:49 pm
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
omg, i am rolling. i am seriously, like my sides hurt. ha ha ha ha ha h ha ha.
that’s golden. seriously, it is.
Heather´s last blog ..RSVP’ing is for the dark ages, apparently..
December 22nd, 2009 at 11:25 pm
Oh, that is PRICELESS!! Hilariously sexy. Completely and totally sexy.
Rachel @ Grasping for Objectivity´s last blog ..It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas…
December 22nd, 2009 at 11:43 pm
Aw, I bet he still finds you attractive. Maybe he could eat the spaghetti off of you?
Don’t worry…I was the same way when pregnant and when my blood sugar drops I’m the same way now!
December 22nd, 2009 at 11:45 pm
I adore you. Adore.
Lisa Rae @ smacksy´s last blog ..A Recipe For Something That Isn’t Fruitcake
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:14 am
LOL…your kid is already ratting you out!
Muthering Heights´s last blog ..You’d Better Watch Out
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:34 am
I think you’re beeeeeeeee-uuuu-tiful!
Undercover Princess´s last blog ..Wow
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:35 am
LOL! What a great place to store things.
Cookie´s last blog ..Winter Break
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:52 am
Now that is totally hysterical. Thanks for the laugh.
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:03 am
So, you savin’ that for later? tee hee! You know, midnight snack? Just a suggestion…
Elaine´s last blog ..WW – Holiday Edition
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:13 am
I actually laughed out loud, not like just the saying LOL, but I literally laughed. Out loud. You crack me up.
Maggie’s Mind´s last blog ..Singin’ a New Song
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:00 am
Ha ha ha. Saving some for later, I see.
Loved this post……just the humor I needed tonight!
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:16 am
That is hilarious! You sexy beast.
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:20 am
So funny! Great story and pictures. I remember those hungry times. Heck, they never went away – and it’s been more than two decades!
Sherry @ EX Marks the Spot´s last blog ..WW: Reindeer in the House!
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:37 am
Hahaha…butsted!!!
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:21 am
You are just too cute for words
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:23 am
I love this post ! (And I love your blog more and more !)
Stéphanie´s last blog ..I’m in love with my new coat
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:29 am
Bahahahaha! You were just trying to entice him with a snack…
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:19 am
This was so funny and so adorable at the same time!!! Loved it.
I have a Christmas wish along with my usual Wednesday post today. [the Wednesday issue of posting is below my 'card' posted just for you....]
HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY.
…for the permalink to my day’s post, click here.
HOOTIN’ ANNI´s last blog ..Christmas is……….& "Wind Beneath Their Wings"
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:00 am
Ok, was already laughing with the title. and then I got to the second pic, and I DIED. Hilarious!
And you hump is ADORABLE.
brittany´s last blog ..The best gifts. EVER.
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:02 am
this post was beyond hilarious!
taraneh´s last blog ..Got Mail?
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:05 am
Ahhhhh haaaaa haaaaa! That’s funny! I bet you were just saving some for later…right?
sheila´s last blog ..Back at the ranch.
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:05 am
Oh my gosh, you are so funny. Happy Holidays to you.
Sara Elizabeth Bonds @ The OmniCouple´s last blog ..WordFul Wednesday: Merry Christmas (Our 2009 Christmas Card)
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:28 am
Hehehe! Too funny.
Kat´s last blog ..WW- Santa’s Little Helper
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:49 am
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dot´s last blog ..Comment on Snowstorm! by Momisodes
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:07 am
okay, i can’t stop laughing (out loud!). drop it like it’s hot, girl
.
i think you look cute in your ensemble…the pasta pulls it all together.
prasti´s last blog ..wordless wednesday::got bacon?
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:14 am
Well if he was really hungry AND fiesty – you guys could’ve had yourself a serious parrrrrtay!
autumn dahlia´s last blog ..Baby Steps – The Dad Edition
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:40 am
LMAO Freaking hilarious! It’s a snack for later.
Run DMT´s last blog ..Winter Wonderland
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:10 am
LOL… Oh! Sandy, you are too funny.
I remember the day when I was pregnant and my belly caught everything I ate.
Gave me a chance to save my food that would otherwise be on the floor.
Amy @ The Q Family´s last blog ..Trekaroo KidsMobile Travel to San Diego
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:37 pm
awww this is sooo funny! thanks for the laughter!
u may view mine here, have a happy holidays!
mizhelle´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday #28 and Sepia Scene #19
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Too funny!!!
You can see our little baby here… http://growingourowngarden.blogspot.com/2009/12/wordless-wednesday.html
Lianna´s last blog ..Girls! Girls! Girls!
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:06 pm
wow – now THAT is what I would call foreplay.
Happy Xmas, Sandy!
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:50 pm
This post had me snorting and guffawing all over the place! Love it!
Beth (A Mom’s Life)´s last blog ..Gingerbread men and cupcake frosting!
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Way too funny. Is it wrong to get a little excited by pasta?
Mike´s last blog ..I Hate My Job…
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Great post, that was hysterical! We always get caught, don’t we?
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Hahaha! Sandy, you crack me up! You’re pregnant girl…go for it and eat two dinners!
Emily´s last blog ..WW – Two Whos
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Mmmmm, spagetti
For my wife it was all kinds of weird fruit….at 4am….thank god Kroger was open all night in Houston:)
M@´s last blog ..Stressful Greetings? Ugh
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:45 pm
CLASSIC!!!
Grandy´s last blog ..WTF Wednesday – Parenting 101
December 24th, 2009 at 1:09 am
Sexy! And then he bent down and slurped the pasta right off your belly.
There were days when I was pregnant and so hungry that the thought entered my mind that lunch actually saved my life.
Happy holidays!
Holly at Tropic of Mom´s last blog ..Playing in the surf
December 24th, 2009 at 1:50 am
You always have the talent to keep people laughing, you look attractive, pleasant, and refreshed there
Happy Holidays!
jingle´s last blog ..Count From 10 to 1, Double Your Holiday Fun!
December 24th, 2009 at 5:41 am
How could anyone resist that title. Unzipping to find some pasta…. hot!
Kim´s last blog ..All Mine
December 24th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
You will never, ever look whale-ish! Entertaining post – reminded me of my ravenous days. Have a merry, merry Christmas!
Jane´s last blog ..Thank You, Colonel Harry Shoup, For Keeping Santa’s Magic Alive!
December 24th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
Merry Christmas Sandy! I hope you and yours have a wonderful celebration and enjoy all those Christmas goodies! I <3'd being preggers over the holidays!!
Take care,
Adrienne
December 25th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Love it! You were definitely saving that spaghetti for later.
Joyce-Anne´s last blog ..Resolved
December 26th, 2009 at 12:50 am
LOL! That’s happened to me before too… in fact, i often realise there’s bits of food down my bra tbh. O.o
Marylin´s last blog ..Weekly Winners
December 26th, 2009 at 6:46 am
A noodle on the belly should be in all the hot love books!! Sexy beyond belief.
Jannie Funster´s last blog ..A Peanuts Christmas Song For You
December 26th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
I laughed so hard I snorted when I read this post. And I don’t laugh out loud. Or snort. So this is kind of a record. Thanks for making history!
Emily´s last blog ..Distract and Conquer
December 27th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
BWAHAHAHAHA! This is hilarious! I’m so glad this post is the one I chose to start off my massive back reading of posts. I love, love, love it!
Karin aka Perpstu´s last blog ..A Little Christmas Cheer
December 28th, 2009 at 11:30 am
Muhahahahahaha! I LOVE your sense of humor.
And I’m sure Daddisodes loves you no matter what you wear.
Jientje´s last blog ..Macro Monday, Skydancers
December 28th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Though late to the party, I feel it important to point out that your experience provides only the vaguest notion of what it’s like to have a rack (I’m guessing… but seriously). Rather, you’ve, learned the joys of middle-aged spread. So many of us elderly (45+) folks develop that “last chance” belay ledge to catch crumbs and other goodies that might have fallen on our shoes when we were in our twenties and thirties.
Daniel (social marketing strategies)´s last blog ..Resistance to Social Media
December 29th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
You have a very lovely lady hump. Thanks for the laugh! I love your sense of humor!
Melissa´s last blog ..What sound does a pony make?
December 30th, 2009 at 3:01 am
I love it! I even had to share it with my very pregnant friend to make her feel better about HER hump!
abunslife´s last blog ..Merry Christmas
January 3rd, 2010 at 1:35 pm