It’s not about me
It has been almost two years since I last worked in a hospital. Two years since I donned a pair of scrubs and draped a stethoscope around my neck. Two years since a decent paycheck was direct deposited into my account. And although the past two years have been priceless while watching my daughter grow, I am still often reminded of the world of medicine.
Throughout most of my nursing career I was not a parent. So it was common for me to get doubtful stares and odd glances from the parents of my tiny, preemie patients. Often times I’d see their smiles fall as I replied, “Oh, I don’t have any children of my own.” I’m sure thoughts of “she’s not even a mother, how could she understand?” swirled through their emotionally frayed, postpartum minds. And now as a mother, in retrospect, I can understand their point of view to some degree. However, back then, I was a tad insulted.
Visiting hours. Patient load. Emergency scenarios. They all impacted my time to interact with patients and their families. Sure I offered the tangible, hands-on care, and an occasional shoulder to cry upon; but in the end, I was always- just a nurse, a stranger, a part of the hospital that never reached beyond the unit doors.
I have had parents and families in my arms, dripping tears upon my sleeve. It’s just that, many of those moments only skimmed the surface of the emotions that ran far deeper than any IV catheter and gripped tighter than any restraint. I just didn’t always get to see it.
However, throughout the last year, the blogosphere has offered me the chance to see beyond the sliding hospital doors and waiting rooms. Many of my favorite bloggers have invited me into their lives, and given me the chance to peer at the intricate, emotional weavings illnesses can create. Their underlying expressions often masked by visiting hours, rooms full of strangers, and white coats. Moments paused in time where I’ve had the chance to peer beyond a hairless scalp or a forced smile.
I’ve seen how familial bonds can tighten or fray. Through raw, honest words I’ve seen the faces of hope, fear, courage, exhaustion, pain, and peace.
They are the facets of life often hidden behind closed doors. However, when brought to light, they are the greatest reminders of how precious and delicate life truly is.
It is their personal stories of people, bloggers, and families that I will carry with me forever…
Along with my stethoscope over my shoulders.
Yet Another Jay and Deb Production.
Here are just some of the inspirational bloggers recently touched by Cancer that I would like to dedicate this Tuesday Tribute to:
1) Jay at Halftime Lessons- This creator of Tuesday Tribute is giving back in a big way. After losing a cousin to cancer and having a mother undergo a single mastectomy this week, he is SHAVING_ HIS_HEAD to raise awareness and funds to support children’s cancer research though the national organization St. Baldrick’s. Read more about his incredible efforts (and a pic) here.
2) Angie at Keep Believing- A courageous mother and wife to Brian, who was diagnosed with a brain tumor 1 month after they married. Please send your love to her family, as Brian is not doing well in his fight with cancer. You can also support them here.
3) Kim at Jogging in Circles- An incredible writer, mother, and photographer recently diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. Her amazing mother is also about to face yet another battle with cancer.
4) OHmommy at ClassyChaos- A very busy, but classy mother of three, whose mother-in-law is fighting breast cancer.
5) Karen MEG at A Day In The Life- One of the kindest bloggers I know who just recently lost her father to cancer.
6) Project Michelle- A 26-year old woman unexpectedly diagnosed with Leukemia. Her only possible cure is a bone marrow transplant from a matching donor. None of her loved ones are matches, and are hoping that through word of mouth and generosity, someone will help save her life. See if you’re a potential match (it’s just a simple cheek swab) here. Read about her journey on her blog or show support on her site.
7) Christine at Chris’s Coop- One of my first bloggy friends and a wonderful writer. She stands by her husband’s side every step of the way as he battles cancer. Read about their journey here.
My mom had a mastectomy almost 20 years ago. She’s been one of the lucky ones – she’s gone well beyond the 5 years thing. I wish that every woman so diagnosed and treated would.
lceel’s last blog post..So, We Flew
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:01 pm
What a great post to get the word out about so many in need. So many affected by this disease. I love Jay – isn’t he amazing? I know about some of these stories and will have to check out the others. Today at MWOB we are launching a sweet little bloggy community project to support another family in need – Tuesday’s family. Do you know her story? If you have a moment, stop by and maybe you want to join in on our virtual parade. It’s a different kind of way to support a grieving family…
Thanks for your post. And your perspective.
Lee the MWOB Queen’s last blog post..T.T. – A "Wagie Ride" for Tuesday
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:21 pm
I’ve lost a few family members and friends to cancer too.
I have been reading a blog about a woman fighting cancer for the 3rd time and she is now in hospice care. I hope and pray everyone out there fighting some kind of battle with cancer will find comfort and strength as well as peace.
Thanks for such a beautiful post.
Missy’s last blog post..Not bad, for a Monday.
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:27 pm
beautifully written post. you don’t have to look far to find someone suffering.
thanks for contributing.
deb’s last blog post..Tuesday’s Tribute
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:30 pm
You are the sweetest thing.
I too have been touched by so many people’s lives online and witnessed struggles. You wrote this far more eloquently then I could have ever had.
OHmommy’s last blog post..Should of, could of, I’m so glad I did…
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Oh, that was such a sweet, heartfelt post!!!
Alicia’s last blog post..BEARY FUN!!!!
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:43 pm
My father, father in law and grandfather all died from different cancers. Several of the blogs I regularly read are wither waging their own wars or helping loved ones fight this terrible disease. Their stories make me smile, they make me cry and they make me hope and pray every day for a cure for this horrible disease.
(((HUGS)))
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:43 pm
The story is really about all of us. I don’t know what we would have done without the help and support of the medical community. All the doctors, nurses, lab techs, social worker, pharmacists, coordinators, nutritionists and I am sure that I am missing some. I have left tears on a few of them. You do not know how thankful I am for each one of them. I will never forget any of them. I am sure there were many who felt the same way about you and they will never forget you. We also would not be doing so well if it were not for all the people who donate to charities or pray for us or come just walk along side and encourage. All of these people are everyday heroes in my book.
I visited the blogs that you featured. I am still sitting here and crying. That is because their stories parallel mine so intensely. My heart and prayers go out to each of them.
Christine’s last blog post..For Fluffy
February 3rd, 2009 at 6:35 pm
Good nurses like you really are angels on earth.
Holly at Tropic of Mom’s last blog post..The one that got away
February 3rd, 2009 at 6:39 pm
just stpooed by to day hi.
mike golch’s last blog post..a prayer request
February 3rd, 2009 at 6:45 pm
What a beautifully written post, S. Your words are so powerful, even before the tribute. Cancer is such a horrible, horrible disease.
Siobhan’s last blog post..Metamorphosis
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:24 pm
I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit on the nurse front. I have leaned and cried on many nurses’ shoulders over the years and the fact that they were there, when I needed them to be, offered me the most comfort and allowed me to move on. Watching them take care of my loved ones, so carefully, compassionately and professionally helped me to know I didn’t have to be the strong one; someone else had stepped into my shoes.
You, a nurse, have changed many lives for the better. And, you, as a blogger, have given us an invaluable insight into your nursing world. Thank you!
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:05 pm
xx
Veronica’s last blog post..Isaac
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:17 pm
I bet you are as wonderful a nurse as you are a friend and writer.
Jannie Funster’s last blog post..Doing It
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:43 pm
It’s been eighteen years since I worked in a hospital. But when I did, it was with the patients who didn’t make it, and their lab reports and their biopsies.
Those stories do stick with you.
Please add, though, that the Blood Bank maintains a national bone marrow registry. Anyone can walk into their local blood bank and donate a tiny tube of blood. They are put into a computer bank and run against everyone who needs a bone marrow transplant.
Go. Do. Now.
The Mother’s last blog post..When You Absolutely, Positively Have to Have More than Six
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Beautifully written, Sandy. I hope you know how very much just the right kind of look or words from a nurse cans stick with a patient and family forever, in a good way.
Maggie’s Mind’s last blog post..Taking Suggestions for My Neck Tattoo
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:23 pm
What an absolutely beautiful tribute!
Elizabeth’s last blog post..The Apron Goddesses!
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:26 pm
I don’t know how nurses do what they do. It must be next to impossible to distance yourself from the pain and suffering of both patients and their families.
Aly @ Lip Zip’s last blog post..He Loves Me Not
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Fantastic post – I love your writing -
Elle’s last blog post..Oh Brother
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:16 pm
your post has given me goosebumps–my dad has cancer and is starting his chemo next week. The pain and fear in the eyes of these patients is so heartbreaking, it really takes a special person to be a nurse. Thank you.
workout mommy’s last blog post..Grab a Grapple!
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Oh, Sandy. What a great post. Great, but it still makes my heart hurt.
SarahHub @ Oakbriar Farm’s last blog post..Next She’ll Want the Car Keys
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:55 pm
Blogging has definitely opened up a world of pain AND inspiration… I love what you’ve written here and am off to check out the blogs you’ve linked to…
Mozi Esme’s Mommy’s last blog post..Cute Tot!
February 4th, 2009 at 12:45 am
What a great post!
dysfunctional mom’s last blog post..Wordful Wednesday ~ Our Zoo
February 4th, 2009 at 3:28 am
Great post. Tuesday has touched a lot of lives!
ImBeingHeldHostage’s last blog post..baby it’s cold outside
February 4th, 2009 at 7:31 am
I don’t think a lot of nurses think about the impact they can have on their patients. You obviously did and do. This was really well written and shows us why we should appreciate nurses more. But you are right — there isn’t always time to make a connection with a patient. The nurses who can in a short amount of time, during all the stress, are the good ones.
I agree about the connections that can be made in the blogging world. It is nice to reach out, meet people and understand a little more of their world, which can be so different from our own.
Jonny’s Mommy’s last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts
February 4th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Nicely put, Sandy. Ya know, it takes a special kind of person to be a nurse…
Nino’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
February 4th, 2009 at 11:42 am
I have to agree with Jonny`s Mommy. Good nurses make a difference.
Elaine B.’s last blog post..Legitimizing your Items-Surviving Hand Made-Part 1
February 4th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Wow! What a great post. My mom is a breast cancer survivor…she’s been clean for 10 years. I am thankful for all the nurses who helped care for her through the radiation, chemo and, of course, the lumpectomy.
Joyce-Anne’s last blog post..Breakfast
February 4th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
I work as a volunteer in the ER of a hospital and some of the nurses are truly amazing. With all they have to do, some of them still keep a smile on their faces. My mother lost her cousin to cancer and both of my best friends lost their mothers way too early to cancer as well. what a great post
February 4th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
The sweetness that is you
.
I tell you Sandy, from my perspective, it was really the nurses at the frontline who made the hugest difference. My mom may tell you differently (she’s a retired nurse, fairly old school, so she did have a few things to say about the standard of care these days…), but even she was impressed by the caring, compassion, attention and concern that some very special nurses showed both my father AND her while she stayed by his side 24/7.
Thank you so much for this post.
Karen MEG’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – drinking buddies
February 4th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
What a great tribute. And I bet you were a great nurse, and will be an even better one when you go back (if you go back). : )
Jenners’s last blog post..A Giveaway, Blogging Addiction Quiz and Create Your Own Meme Challenge
February 4th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Sandy you are so sweet, and what a great tribute indeed. You have reminded me it’s time for an awareness post.
Thank you dear one. And I’m loving the layout and your ever-changing pics up in the top corner.
Grandy’s last blog post..WTF Wednesday
February 5th, 2009 at 2:40 am
I have tears in my eyes…love the post! And so true…
In relation to cancer, something that has bothered me for years now just crept up again…no, I’m not sick…I hope to find time to write about it…and maybe I can get your thoughts.
Send my hugs to the cute Babisodes…
Regards,
Mariposa
Mariposa’s last blog post..Gong Xi Fa Cai 2009!
February 5th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
beautifully written
February 6th, 2009 at 2:13 am
What a wonderful idea for a tribute. Beautiful.
patois’s last blog post..Frick! Forgot about the ROFLs
February 6th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
What a lovely post. We have a nephew who has battled cancer for many years and we are constantly sending hugs to him across the miles. I will visit the blogs you have shared – thank you for sharing this
kathy’s last blog post..Conversation Hearts Photo tutorial
February 7th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
That was a beautiful post. You have a beautiful heart!
Christie-A Work In Progress’s last blog post..Forehead Smack Fridays: Okay, I Get It!
February 8th, 2009 at 12:02 am
Listen, the nurses made ALL the difference to us when we had Cal in the NICU after he was born. We don’t remember their names, but we absolutely remember how wonderful they were. I have a feeling you’re like that. So it is, to some extent, about you.
Sus (wigglerooms)’s last blog post..Harsh Reality
February 9th, 2009 at 8:27 am