Justice isn’t blind. He’s a dude.
In recent decades, there have been notable strides in balancing the roles of men and women. Nearly half of the medical students in the U.S. today are females. And just last year, two different women nearly became this country’s first female president and vice president.
That’s progress.
However, there are some arenas where the scales continue to be tipped. Where women fall below, carrying the brunt of the weight.
For example, during childbirth, I think we all can agree that playing field is a cakewalk for the trojan team.
But before I rummage through that messy pile, perhaps we should back up a little.
As a couple begins the journey of trying to conceive, their initial steps are often taken together hand-in-hand. Together they endure week after week, and sometimes month after month of physical and emotional intensity. Occasionally a woman will take the time for an ovulation test and/or basal temperature measurement, but overall, it is an ultimate passage of love for two people walking side-by-side.
That is, until one year has passed and no pregnancies have occurred.
Then…well, that scale begins to plummet to one side. This is the time when most physicians will begin to explore what may be wrong.
Here is a recent CliffsNotes timeline of our infertility journey:
- Last Friday- Started my period after being 5 days late. Nature can be so cruel.
- Last Sunday- Drove to hospital and woke up the lab technician sitting in the back to draw 3 vials of my blood. All of which she could not find the orders for.
- Tuesday (today) to Saturday- Start taking Clomid for medical testing (to make sure I ovulate in order to monitor my blood levels). It is a medication that stimulates ovulation with fun side effects such as nausea, hot flashes, headaches, dizziness, vision changes, and breast tenderness. None of which are the “serious” side effects.
- Sunday- Return to hospital to have more blood drawn.
- Next Monday- Return to hospital for an X-ray procedure where dye is injected into my cervix to check my fallopian tubes. My doctor forewarned me that it is painful, and recommends taking Ibuprofen before arriving. Which freaks me out. Because she didn’t even recommend pain relievers when she scraped out parts of my cervix for a biopsy…without anesthesia. Twice.
- Next Tuesday- Begin peeing on a stick everyday to check for ovulation. Once it’s positive, have “timed intercourse”.
Romantic, eh?
Like walking off along a sandy shoreline during a sunset.
Alone.
That’s right. Just me.
Because you know where Dadisodes will be? Want to know what kind of hell the scales of justice will have him suffer through?
…He gets a private room with porn and a cup.
Dude, why can’t I be a dude.
lol. i’m sure you can think up some ways to even up the scales so he can make it up to you. lolol.
May 26th, 2009 at 12:52 am
Hope it happens soon for you. This journey is tortuous for anyone.
Jeanette’s last blog post..A Trash the Dress Session in the veld – Part 1
May 26th, 2009 at 1:53 am
I’m sorry to hear about all the hardships you have been through and will continue to face. I’m sure in the end it will be all worth it.
Ah, life is unfair. Dadisodes has got to spoil you rotten to make up for this.
katcarneo’s last blog post..Hey, Problem!
May 26th, 2009 at 2:20 am
Ugh. Trying to conceive is the worst struggle. It took us a year to conceive our daughter.. we were just about to the point where we were going to get tested to see if there was anything wrong. I sure hope your journey ends quickly!
May 26th, 2009 at 2:39 am
(((hugs)))
They get an orgasm. Women get all the crappy stuff.
Veronica’s last blog post..Dear Nathan
May 26th, 2009 at 4:11 am
Gosh! I don’t know how I’d get through those if I were in your shoes. Wishing you strength from the Lord and I’m sure all your efforts will be worth it. Take care! Can you eat chocolate? I think you’ll need it.
ceemee’s last blog post..Innocence
May 26th, 2009 at 6:13 am
One of my best friends went through the same blood and cervix/dye testing and also ended up on Clomid, and it worked like a charm! I have a couple of coworkers who used it successfully as well! Good luck!!!
May 26th, 2009 at 6:37 am
I’ll be crossing my fingers for you. And oh, the scales are uneven in every part of parenting…just add this to the list.
And seriously…would you even trust him with anything important in these steps? (other than filling the cup) I think not 
sheila’s last blog post..Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow.
May 26th, 2009 at 7:52 am
Because if you were a Dude then I’d have to be gay, that’s why. And I am not going to go that way.
lceel’s last blog post..And now for something completely …..
May 26th, 2009 at 8:53 am
I’m crossing my fingers and holding my breath for you.
Joyce-Anne’s last blog post..It is crack.
May 26th, 2009 at 9:31 am
I had a hysterosalpingogram. It wasn’t too bad. Uncomfortable, yes, but not unbearable. And I hope the Clomid works for you. I had to take it as well, and it worked for me. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!
wright’s last blog post..Tigger and Pooh and George Too!
May 26th, 2009 at 9:35 am
This is why we make them take out the trash, kill the spiders, fix the car, etc., etc. Hope this process works out for you both.
Dot’s last blog post..The Joys of Alcohol and Other Fallacies
May 26th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Life just isn’t fair….
Undercover Princess’s last blog post..An open apology to my Crown Princes
May 26th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Self reminder: Put down breakfast sandwich before reading Momisodes…
The Dude life is pretty cool. All we get to look forward too is having problem peeing when we get old…
OhCaptain’s last blog post..Happy Memorial Day Weekend!
May 26th, 2009 at 11:11 am
I have everything crossed for you, I’ll even braid my hair if it helps! Good luck!
May 26th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Ouch! I went through the first blood test as well, and was waiting for my hubby to do the porn and the cup when I got pregnant, so he got off super easy (no pun intended). Hope things work out for you guys!
Angela at mommy bytes’s last blog post..PSA – Is Your License Expired?
May 26th, 2009 at 11:57 am
I just watched my sister-in-law go through all of this. It was so hard on her. The good news is she is now approaching her 17th week of pregnancy. Wishing the same result for you.
(And Dadisodes owes you some serious pampering).
Kimberly’s last blog post..Watermelon, watermelon
May 26th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Hello there. First time visitor here. Define “Timed intercourse” Sounds kinda like regular intercourse to me: hurry before “time’s up!”
Sound kinda difficult, everything you’re going through to conceive, but I’m sure it’ll all pay off in the end!
GiGi @ Incrementum’s last blog post..[Insert title here]
May 26th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Biology is a cruel mistress. Millennia of hand-wringing has not, and cannot solve the problem.
Test tube babies, may. Too bad they’re still millennia away.
The Mother’s last blog post..I Won the Mom Lottery!
May 26th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
I’m sorry you have to go through all this and this is all too unfair. Let’s think of somethings we can do to hubby so he can share in this as well.
Felicia – I Complete Me’s last blog post..Do you see the little things?
May 26th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
been there- doing this too! not too much fun!
May 26th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Sorry you are going through this.
Secret Mom Thoughts’s last blog post..Grandparent Hangover
May 26th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
yuck. No fun. and no fair. you deserve ice cream…massive amounts! I hope this long journey ends soon.
Emily’s last blog post..We’re back – but we didn’t come willingly!
May 26th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
yeah seriously, men get a serious pass in this regard. hope the test results are helpful. have you been monitoring your cycle thus far? I know clomid can sometimes have a bad rap but I hear it’s been helpful for some. best of luck!
May 26th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
I would certainly say he gets the lucky draw on this one! I’m praying for you guys for this to work!
Tiffany @ Paging Doctor Mommy’s last blog post..Advice from Doctor Mommy
May 26th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
I hope you guys find the problem — or lack of problem. And I agree he does have it much easier. As usual.
Patsy’s last blog post..A Mother’s Brave Acts
May 26th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
i’m so sorry about all you’ve had to go through! i really hope this next batch of tests gives you some more answers.
hazel’s last blog post..Back to Real Life.
May 26th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
it’s always easier for a guy. they just have to grab a magazine and ahem…
hugs honey. this can’t be an easy time for you and my thoughts are with you. and one day, you’ll look back and sigh…and then have romantic sex.
xoxo
melissa’s last blog post..Dear Sir, Please Take Your Alarm Clock And Stick It Where The Sun Don’t Shine
May 26th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Hoping the best for you guys!
Asianmommy’s last blog post..Greeting Cards from Fugu Fugu Press
May 26th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Whoa — can’t imagine going through this and I too would want to be the dude. hang in there sweetie!
Michelle’s last blog post..Comment on Summer Styles Sneak Peek… by Jessi
May 26th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
I’m glad you’re trying the Clomid…I’m hoping it’ll be the “jumpstart” you guys need and things will go smoothly after that…
Just tell dadisodes that after all of this, the nurse told you you absolutely could NOT clean or cook…so he’ll have to either hire a maid for you or do it all himself. That should make you feel a little better. And, of course…chocolate cake is an obvious must…
Ashley’s last blog post..In list form…
May 26th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
There is no justice. Men really do have it easier, and no where is that fact more pronounced than in procreation. Keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes well!
Cara’s last blog post..Note To Self
May 26th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
I think things will become easier for us women when men have to shoulder more of the burden of conceiving and childbirth. Sending positive vibes your way…
Veggie Mom’s last blog post..The Beautiful People Don’t Always Count
May 26th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Thinking of you….
(While reading your post I couldn’t see the picture you posted…I was holding my breath because I could see the hand…..I was so sure the rest of the picture was going to be a cup and some porn! lol)
Sharon’s last blog post..I Love You More Than……
May 26th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
BTW – I love Ashley’s response of telling dadisodes not to clean or cook. I am so saving that to use someday!
Sharon’s last blog post..I Love You More Than……
May 26th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
Yes… you definitely got the short end of this stick, so to speak. I hope it ends up with good results.
Jenners’s last blog post..Some Thoughts About Carbonated Beverages
May 26th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Yikes… that is just… wrong.
Sounds like men came up with this testing procedure.
Jen of a2eatwrite’s last blog post..What’s Cooking Wednesday: POM Wonderful: Wonderfully Decadent and Wonderfully Wholesome
May 26th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Oh my, they’re really brutalizing you!!! You poor thing!
May 26th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
LOL! SO true! I did the clomid and that thing with dye up your @ss… so much fun. Good luck! If I survived it, I’m sure you can too! and then it wasn’t long afterwards that pee stick had 2 lines. yup, i got pregnant.
Cookie’s last blog post..First Fish
May 26th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
You are soooooo right. Everything for guys is so much easier. Getting ready for work in the morning? 5 minutes. Haircut? $20 and no appointment necessary. Sex? Instant erection. So, when my husband laments the day he’ll have to have his prostrate manhandled during his physical…well, I’m sorry, but I fall short on sympathy.
My thoughts are with you. My best friend went through all of the above before she gave birth to two beautiful twin boys. Keep the faith!
L.
Lisa’s last blog post..michigan musings
May 26th, 2009 at 11:35 pm
So, so unfair!
When you do conceive, make sure you get the royal treatment to try to make up for all of it. Hugs…
Holly’s last blog post..So how was your Memorial Day?
May 27th, 2009 at 1:29 am
Infertility is such an emotional and physical burden on women. I am so sorry you are having to do with this. I only pray that all that you endure will bring you many blessings.
Run DMT’s last blog post..The Second You’re Not Looking
May 27th, 2009 at 3:21 am
That is so not fair!
dysfunctional mom’s last blog post..Weekend Wrap-Up 5.26.09
May 27th, 2009 at 5:36 am
Ugh! Men! And they are such whiners about things too! Good luck on it all. Smack him for me, k?
May 27th, 2009 at 8:05 am
LOL. I don’t mean to laugh at your pain but your writing style makes me laugh. Trojan team…love the reference.
I hope you will soon be blessed with a wonderful gift.
May 27th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
YAH – I hear ya. We just went through some of that, only to find out that after the results came back from his “cup”, he was told he has SUPER sperm and the problem is all me!!!! Nice huh? Talk about justice…
The fallopian tube test was no big deal, I have no pain tolerance and only took some aleeve afterwards because I had a backache, but really not much pain from the procedure itself. Don’t worry
I’m sending you good happy thoughts!
May 27th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Been there, done that. Clomid is horrible. If it turns you into a raving lunatic, discontinue use immediately for the sake of your family.
And for the record, you COULD have gone in the “room” with him and, umm, helped so the other wasn’t necessary. I don’t know if that tips the scales more or less in the justice department for you, but I was much happier with that option.
Rachel @ Grasping for Objectivity in my Subjective Life’s last blog post..Dear God, What Extension Do I Dial for the Warranty Department?
May 27th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
LOL!!! Men get to have all the fun. Hope this is the turn of good things to come.
Dejoni’s last blog post..It’s just that simple
May 27th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
oh my = of course it is more work for the woman
hang in there – sounds crazy and trying
Elle’s last blog post..Lights…Camera…Action
May 28th, 2009 at 2:40 am
I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through, and when everything works fine, dudes will again escape the unbearable labour pain.
Thanks for making me laugh at the end of the post, never knew that they serve porn as well to expediate the process
zunnur’s last blog post..An unfinished expression
May 28th, 2009 at 10:38 am
nevermind the pain, as long as u are blessed with another child, that will be wonderful!!! think of another baby to distract u if u are uncomfortable or in a bit pain.. Gold bless u Sandy. Take care ya!
wen’s last blog post..Upgrade Insurance
May 28th, 2009 at 11:33 am
” Return to hospital for an X-ray procedure where dye is injected into my cervix to check my fallopian tubes. My doctor forewarned me that it is painful, and recommends taking Ibuprofen before arriving.”
Yes. It IS!!!
And don’t get suckered into having 2 males do the procedure in a cold, dark room alone either.
CC’s last blog post..Day to shine
May 28th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Sucks to hear you have to go through this but at least you will have answers, right?
Men may get the easy end but being a mother is so rewarding!
Missy’s last blog post..Did somebody lose their Stormtrooper?
May 28th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Wishing you a miracle, soon.
May 28th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Baby wishes!!!
Nola’s last blog post..Happily Ever After
May 31st, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Oh, so very much not so fun, especially on the girl side of all that. I do hope it works out and soon.
Maggie’s Mind’s last blog post..Bitch, You Crazy
June 1st, 2009 at 11:47 pm