Life in plastic, it’s fantastic
Honestly, had I not given birth to my daughter, I would have pegged her as someone else’s child.
I mean seriously. Aside from her pin straight brown hair (which is just like her father’s) and biting sarcasm, we really have little in common. At least not when it comes to being little girls.
Growing up, I only had an older brother. So deflecting WWE body slams and figure-fours was a matter of survival.
I hiked up his hand-me-down blue striped tube socks, and along with my unisex bowl cut and only-Asian girl status, kids at school were not nice. Good thing I knew how to pin someone down for a 10 second count.
Anyhow, my daughter could not be more different. She is well versed in every Disney Princess story, along with each one’s full dress attire. Her bedroom and closet resembles the inside of a bottle of Pepto Bismol. And every time a Barbie commercial or ad crosses her eyes, she suddenly folds her hands behind her back, tilts her head and says, “Mommy, I just LOVE Barbie! Can I have one?”
HELL to the NO. At least that’s my immediate response inside my head. But the answer is indeed always “no.”
Personally, I do not like Barbie. At her age, I used to swing her by her luscious blond hair and turn her into an enemy helicopter attacking GI Joes.
I put her on the same tier as Bratz dolls. Both wear way too much make up, and do not set a great example for little girls. I’m not crazy about the Disney Princesses either, but I can only do so much consumer deflecting.
But Barbie takes the cake. Especially now that they’ve decided she needs a redesign because her ankles are too fat.
Barbie has cankles? Really? Does anyone actually notice anything besides her gargantuan hair and rack?
If this is an issue, how come Dora’s head is bigger than her entire body?
Anyhow, my daughter will not be receiving a Barbie from Santa. She will however, be receiving a baby doll that she has been eying for several weeks now.
I read that offering an older sibling a baby doll can help ease the transition of having a new baby at home.
Isn’t she cute? Sure she has blue eyes and blond hair and looks nothing like anyone in our family, but who cares. I’ve grown used to the nanny question, and I have all of my “I’m not the help” comebacks ready to go.
I managed to score her for 50% off on Amazon after Thanksgiving.
Only there is one caveat…
“Pee or poop?”
Awesome.
My daughter will soon appreciate the joys of diaper surprise, or she will become a master diaper changer by the age of five.
Win-Win.
At least the word “vomit” or “explosive” wasn’t included on the packaging. That must be the more expensive line.
Dadisodes is going to love that our diaper bill just doubled.
Perhaps the plastic, bastard child will have to suffer from bouts of starvation from time to time.
At least it won’t grow up to have cankles.
Sandy, I’m rolling! I have managed to avoid those bodily function correct dolls for 6 years now, Barbies with varying success however, even the 6 year old knows that Bratz are HORRID and TACKY and BAD
How are you doing? Gotta love the presents for 50% off! Amazon is AWESOME
rachel-asouthernfairytale´s last blog ..Rainbow Cupcakes
December 3rd, 2009 at 8:02 pm
I too was the only Asian kid in my town. God that sucked. I loved WWF also. Too bad you didn’t grow up near me. We could have started the “Asian Invasion” tag team waaaay before Blogher 09.
BusyDad´s last blog ..Blog Posts a la King
December 3rd, 2009 at 8:03 pm
that’s a lot of barbie hate!! lolol. i was girly and my sister was more of a tomboy. we had several Black barbies, barbie house & a barbie car. explosive vomit? yep not worse than a pooping doll!!! PASS!!
Jameil´s last blog ..Week 1, Recipe 1: Chai Smoothie
December 3rd, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Dude, The poopin’ doll? Next year save yourself the trouble and get her a puppy.
I bet she’ll love it.
WeaselMomma´s last blog ..25 Things You Didn’t Want To Know
December 3rd, 2009 at 8:26 pm
Loved that post! Too funny! As the mom of a little boy I have avoided the adventures of poopin’ dolls but I can line a football field with matchbox cars. Those little suckers are the death of me. Try stepping on one in the dark, um, not so nice!
Laura @ 29 and Counting´s last blog ..My Little Smarty Pants!
December 3rd, 2009 at 8:53 pm
I really don’t get the lure of a doll that needs its diaper changed. Seriously, that is a good thing about a doll.
December 3rd, 2009 at 9:04 pm
We did the same thing when we had our second. We had a baby doll for her to take care of while I cared for her little brother. I also got her a blanket so she could wrap him like I was wrapping the baby up. She felt so important!
December 3rd, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Loved this post. You’ve got to let us know how the bodily functions go over.
Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com´s last blog ..Lightbulb & A Birth Announcement
December 3rd, 2009 at 10:07 pm
My daughter went through the Disney Princess phase, and the Bratz phase, and now she is showing interest in Moxie Girls????
I was a total girly girl, although I was never super into Barbie, so I just let it ride.
Carrie´s last blog ..Christmas decorating challenge (my cheapness AND laziness)
December 3rd, 2009 at 10:28 pm
Monkey girl just turned 3 and received the same doll that Babisodes will be getting from Santa. She loves babies but on that same day she received her first Barbie too. Guess which doll she plays with? Yup. Barbie. Can’t say that I’m thrilled about it, but I guess I’ve succomb to peer pressure.
Joyce-Anne´s last blog ..A Meme
December 3rd, 2009 at 10:50 pm
I was never into Barbie either, and I’m glad my girls weren’t either..lol.
Alicia´s last blog ..35/52 PICTURES OF ME
December 3rd, 2009 at 10:51 pm
great post.I am the oldes of my siblings,(both girls) they ganged up on me.
mike golch´s last blog ..Prayer Request.
December 3rd, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Hubby was the only Asian in his school. And the bowl cut. And the super fab 70s clothes. And, if I could only reveal his name and the fact that he was 40 lbs until 9th grade, you would know that he was the PRIME bullying candidate. Luckily, he was so oblivious that the bullies stayed away from him. Just no fun in pushing around the clueless dork.
And, I just can’t, can’t, can’t get a baby doll that has any body fluids come out of it. Or really, get a blond one. As much as dd wanted a “fake princess baby” from Walgreens, I got the slightly more expensive Snow White baby. Cause…at least she has black hair!
CC´s last blog ..There’s a hole…
December 3rd, 2009 at 11:46 pm
Oh mercy. Cankles? Seriously?? Who cares about Barbie’s cankles!
But I HAVE heard that dolls are good for older siblings. I hope she likes it!
Muthering Heights´s last blog ..Treasured Times, Silly Hats
December 4th, 2009 at 12:13 am
That doll is kinda creepy looking! And it pees and poops! GAH. But you’re right, this could be a WIN for you
I was OBSESSED with Barbie as a little girl. It was sick, seriously.
Heather´s last blog ..Dear Santa & Things
December 4th, 2009 at 12:22 am
Oh how I love the way you write!
Gracie has Barbies but she spends all her time making them clothes. I have to admit that I love watching her create wardrobes. But really? Cankles? They look like they could snap off if she tripped as they are now…
My mom got my brother a doll when she was pregnant with me. He made block skyscrapers and turned the doll into Godzilla. Awesome.
Cecily R´s last blog ..Photo Story Friday and The Working Mom
December 4th, 2009 at 12:27 am
Both 5 year olds who came to Sophia’s 3rd birthday party brought Barbies for her. Crazy decked out barbies. But at least one seemed to have a job of some sort. She came with a briefcase. Then my husband took Sophia to a yard sale and let her pick something. Barbie again. So far she seems to like them for the hair. She has not yet noticed her giant boobs or cankles! Her favorite doll is actually her 18 inch American girl like doll and her little princess figures are pretty popular too.
I too grew up with a lot of G.I. Joe and so far she is not interested at all in anything having to do with boys or the toys they play with. She wonlt even let her brother’s little figures in her room!
I am laughing so hard that you got a doll that poops – not one but 2 poopy additions coming your way! Holy cow! Good luck!
Brittany at Mommy Words´s last blog ..Folks, My Belly Ain’t Half Full
December 4th, 2009 at 12:33 am
Ever since I read your post, I was trying to figure out why I’ve had that Barbie song in my head for the last few days. Right now I am re-listening to “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me” (for the 1000th time) and realized they play a clip of that song this last week. So that’s why I’ve been singing it. I even let part of the chorus slip in front of my kids. Oops. And then they wanted to hear more….
‘ruh roh.
CC´s last blog ..There’s a hole…
December 4th, 2009 at 12:44 am
And how come they redesigned Dora so she looks like a preteen now! Argh!
Yeah, I thought about getting these for my nieces…I say “these” because I’d have to get five of those dolls for them…there are five of them. I want them to see what it really means to have a baby so they won’t have any until they are good and ready … and old…really old.
Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings´s last blog ..What will he be when he grows up?
December 4th, 2009 at 1:02 am
We gave one of the baby dolls that I got for my daughter’s shower to her older brother and he loved it just like he loved her when she was born. It does really work.
And I was obsessed with Baby Alive which pooped when I was little. Never had a Barbie, although my daughter has wrenched a few arms off hers already.
Angela at mommy bytes´s last blog ..PSF – Visiting My Old Dorm Room
December 4th, 2009 at 1:54 am
I love that you don’t allow barbies. Hate those things.
BUt I admit, I grew up playing with them. Only, I liked to create horrid deaths for them. They all got mutilated, raped, and came back to haunt their murderers as a ghost.
sophia´s last blog ..Big Fat Fluffy Balls
December 4th, 2009 at 2:51 am
What a cute doll! It will be interesting to see how long you resist the pull of Barbie
Jeanette Verster´s last blog ..Playing hide and seek
December 4th, 2009 at 3:42 am
thats a huge one! am sure babisodes would love esp its from her lil sister.. am i correct?
wen´s last blog ..House Furniture
December 4th, 2009 at 4:18 am
I was born and raised to have girls. Pink is my favorite color and both my girls have or will have Pepto in their closests. I think because I had such connection issues with my mom, it’s the universe’s way of bonding me with my kids:-)
Susie’s Homemade´s last blog ..Friday Foto Fun with Homemade Ornaments
December 4th, 2009 at 7:28 am
I dislike Barbie too but I’ve lost the battle with the relatives who insist on buying my daughter some. I draw the line at Bratz dolls. I would throw those out.
Secret Mom Thoughts´s last blog ..Fitness Friday
December 4th, 2009 at 7:36 am
Hilarious! Barbies just sort of happened around our house. I’m not sure where or when but they invaded. I always wished my daughter was into baby dolls, but much like her momma she tends to be quite the tomboy (other than an exception for barbies). Now Bratz are evil and a completely different subject to me.
Kelli@GohnCrazy´s last blog ..PSF – Apple Picking Now and Then
December 4th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Bodily function toys are not allowed in my house. Mostly because our youngest, the primary baby caregiver, prefers her children to be naked. It’s bad enough when I have to clean dog pee of the carpet, but how do you scold a plastic doll?
Hockeymandad´s last blog ..Tisk Tisk Tiger, Shame on You America
December 4th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Oh my…I believe I made fun of that doll in a post a few weeks ago! I sure hope you enjoy cleaning up after your new plastic friend.
You make me laugh!!
December 4th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Pees or Poops? Hmmmm. If that’s the case, perhaps you could get a little boy baby doll – one that rewards you if stand in the wrong spot while changing diapers – and you prove to be not quick enough getting the new one on. And, honest to the Goddess, little girls can do the same thing – but not all the time. My daughter got me once – but that’s another story from a long time ago.
lceel´s last blog ..Friday Haiku – The Swan
December 4th, 2009 at 11:41 am
If I had a little girl, I wouldn’t give her a Barbie either. I had them when I was little, but I thought they were boring. Also, I love that the doll “pees or poops”.
Mishi´s last blog ..I appreciate the little things, like good grammar.
December 4th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
hahaha I really enjoyed this post. You have a very witty writing style, and I giggled several times. I agree on the whole Barbie thing. Yuck! Thanks for sharing!
Amy´s last blog ..Santa Baby
December 4th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Hilarious!
Good luck on that baby-doll helping reduce sibling rivalry thing.
I have no experience, whatsoever, with babydolls and kids, since I had, you know, boys.
I do have lots of experience with sibling rivalry, however, and if I could have spent a few tens of dollars on a baby doll to solve the problem, it would have been worth its plastic weight in gold.
The Mother´s last blog ..How to Fake Virginity, Medieval Style
December 4th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
You had me cracking up, Sandy. And I’m with you on the Bratz dolls. Don’t like them. At all.
December 4th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Holy cow you crack me up!
I love the line about the helicopter! I hear barbie also makes a good gun…………..
Carrie Keiser´s last blog ..Foto Story Friday #78–driving alone
December 4th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Sandy, I can always count on you for some laughs. That was hysterical.
Mama in Suburbia´s last blog ..It Goes On and On and On
December 4th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
OMG! Barbies has cankles?! She must be getting old! and that leaves no hope for me
Funny that you get the “nany question”. I get the “are they adopted” question :S
Cookie´s last blog ..More Holiday Confusion
December 4th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Seriously….you crack me up! I loved this post. Love the pee OR poop. What a fun surprise she’s constantly have in store for her.
Kelly´s last blog ..in loving memory
December 4th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
my niece is a princess too. her entire room is pink. however recently she has decided she wanted something different. she is 7 so I guess taste evolve with age uh…..
savvygal´s last blog ..New Look For Chanel Bag
December 4th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
I have the same daughter! I was a tom boy – she was into “twirly dresses.” When she was 10 she looked at me sadly and said, “Mom. I really wish you wore more make up and jewelry.” Already I was a disappointment to her!
Jane´s last blog ..An Early Christmas Present For All My Scrooge Friends Out There
December 4th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Very vivid images to fill your baby dreams, good for you!
Happy Weekend!
Jimgle´s last blog ..Math Is Cool, So Are You!
December 4th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Are you freaking kidding me about Barbie cankles???? That is crazy!!!
And my neighbor’s daughter has a pee/poop doll. They are kind of creepy. The dad drew the line and refused to buy diapers for the doll once his own kids were potty trained. I’m sure she’ll love it though!
Jenners´s last blog ..Fluff or Fold? The Controversy Rages
December 4th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
This is what I have to looks forward to now that I have a daughter, isn’t it? And is there a “pee only” option. Cuz I don’t need the baby doll that poops. NO THANK YOU!
Elaine´s last blog ..PSF – My Plan, Thwarted
December 5th, 2009 at 1:25 am
Just ran across your blog. I agree with you about the whole Barbie thing, I haven’t decided whether or not I will let my daughter play with them when it is time (she is only three months old). Although I’m blond hair blue eyed and so is my daughter and the majority of my family, I do not have the perfect Barbie figure or should I say distorted view of the perfect woman. I don’t want my daughter growing up thinking that is what she is supposed to look like. It is no telling what the Barbie’s will be like when she is older, they will prob have a botox barbie by then. I won’t start on the Bratz dolls they just creep me out. I hope she will be some what of a tom boy or at least stick to animal toys like I did.
by the way enjoyed your blog!
Melissa´s last blog ..Play Time!!
December 5th, 2009 at 1:33 am
A peeing and pooping doll and more diapers to change? THAT sounds like the perfect gift from Santa! ROFL!!
Jientje´s last blog ..Weekend Reflection, Fall Colors in Maryland
December 5th, 2009 at 9:11 am
i wonder if the peeing/pooping doll would help my 2 year old with potty-training…my 5 year old has asked for a real working cell phone for xmas. god help me.
p.s. my heros growing up were jake the snake roberts and the iron sheik.
December 5th, 2009 at 10:38 am
Poor Barbie, having to suffer from the stigma of fat ankles! Nothing a little plastic surgery can’t fix, right?
Asianmommy´s last blog ..Mini Memo Clips for Dim Sum Lovers
December 5th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
You never fail to put a smile on my face. LOL!!!
“Explosive” ahem… Poop… would just make that doll a “must-have” for me… I would be buying it for every child I know if that were the case. But regular poop? Eh, who cares. LOL!
However, the Barbie having Cankles thing infuriates me. SERIOUSLY!??! What is this world coming to???
Jac @ Wuzzlemakesthree´s last blog ..Violated
December 5th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
I didn’t like Barbie either until we started watching her movies and she is really a nice noble gal in those. And courageous. I was surprised! My favorite is “The Princess And The Pauper.” Great songs in it.
So, there’s my two cents worth!!
December 5th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
whoops, wrong URL again the first time.
Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Like A bord On A Wire, 13 — Funny Typos
December 5th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Oh my goodness, I have way to much pooping and peeing in the house already so I could not imagine having to clean up after the doll too! LOl
I loved Barbie when I was a little girl. Mostly I played nice but I do remember one occasion when my friend and I put on: The Nasty Nasty Show with them. Umm… don’t ask.
Have you checked the beautiful French dolls at KangarooBoo.com. I think that any little girl would adore them. They are classy and have gorgeous hair and smell like vanilla forever. Much nicer alternative than Barbie and it would be hard to do a nasty show with them. They do not have boobs.
Christine´s last blog ..What Day Is It Anyway?
December 6th, 2009 at 1:14 am
Yes, just when people were starting to work toward boosting the self image of our young girls…now barbie has cankles. How dumb.
I had a doll similar to that one when I was little (like 37 yrs ago…) she was called ‘Baby Alive’. The poop thing wasn’t bad. lol. I think you just ahve to make sure you give it water to flush it out afterwards so it doenst get ‘constipated’ and ruined. ha ha ha.
sheila´s last blog ..A Christmas Conversation *sigh*
December 6th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Hey Sandy! Hows the little baby-bump? I know I’ve been MIA but I always resurface, right? Okay Barbie, Bratz, Princesses…so with you! I am softening towards the princesses a bit because I do like Jasmine, Mulan (who they kind of ignore) and now the new princess Tiana (love her!) But totally with you on all other points. Cankles? Really? I have no words! But I love that you are giving some real-life experience to your little girl in preparation for her sibling. Get ready for a fun ride!
Christie – The ChatterBox´s last blog ..That’s iNGENIOUS! Gives New Meaning to "Necessity is the Mother of Invention"
December 6th, 2009 at 10:38 am
LOL….that’s so funny! I, personally, stay away from the dolls that mimic actual body functions. I clean up enough poo without adding fake to it!
Emily´s last blog ..Thanksgiving at the beach
December 6th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
“Hell to the NO” You are too funny. I’m totally going to try to use that line this holiday season.
Kim´s last blog ..Can I Hate Someone Else’s Baby?
December 6th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Too funny! Now this will cause her to be a very responsible mom.
Puna´s last blog ..First Snow 2009
December 7th, 2009 at 11:27 am
I often wonder how Grace will be as a little girl too. I was much like you. I had one Barbie doll (that was given to me by my grandma I think) and I never played with her. I hated pink and dresses and I was not at all interested in playing house. Hmmm. How I’ve changed.
I don’t think I will be getting Grace a doll that poops and pees though. I’ve had enough of that in the past 6 years.
Kat´s last blog ..My List Of Excuses
December 7th, 2009 at 11:51 am
I am so glad my daughter never got into dolls!!!
kel´s last blog ..A Letter to a Mechanical Hamster
December 7th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
So far, Miss Peach has stayed firmly in the Disney Princess camp. I am so not going down the Barbie road:/ Good to hear Babisodes will be changing diapers right along with Mama;)
Nap Warden´s last blog ..The Cleaning Robot
December 7th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
With three teenage daughters, I may need to borrow that doll. Just so they know the realities of getting pregnant themselves…
Mike´s last blog ..NPR’s Marketplace…
December 7th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
You go girl. Let me tell you…last year I was shopping for my four year old niece for Christmas and I asked the lady at Toys R Us what I should get…cause I just have boys. She hands me a Bratz doll. I said, “I’m sorry. I was hoping for something a little less whore-ish and a little more modesty friendly…” I ended up with Hello Kitty. See? At least you keep your hell to the no in your head. My filter is broken.
Undercover Princess´s last blog ..Christmas No-Nos
December 7th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
I’m with you…I’m hoping that my girls don’t go through a barbie phase. Right now we are all princesses, ponies and babies, which is how I would like to keep it. That doll is crazy! Pee and poop! Wow…at least it is a good toy to teach her to help you out when you need it!
Jenna´s last blog ..Christmas Requests
December 8th, 2009 at 12:44 am
I saw an ad for that doll the other day and thought “do kids really want this?” I guess I’ve got my answer. I wonder what the poop is? Pellets, maybe? Do you feed them back into the baby? That wouldn’t be confusing.
Cara´s last blog ..Kickin’ It With Some Friends
December 8th, 2009 at 9:09 am
i had the original baby alive doll, back in the 70’s. yes, it peed and pooped back then, too. and one day, it disappeared. i think my parents got sick of those dolls and fed them to our neighbors dogs. but that’s just me speculating.
enjoy. at least the poop in this doll resembles something along the lines of applesauce.
December 8th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
dolls that pee and poop are at the top of my list of reasons I have a boy. Bakugans might roll around and stab you in the foot in the middle of the night, but I don’t have to buy itsy bitsy diapers for them! ROFL
Just FYI, the doll versions of the diapers are REALLY REALLY expensive. A friend’s daughter has the little pooper doll and buys the cheapest preemie diapers she can find at Walmart. She said they work just fine and keep the whining to a minimum! Good luck!
Karin aka Perpstu´s last blog ..Merry SITSmas!!!
December 9th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Barbies are a horrible things at least for adults. We see what the manufacturers are trying to portray. I think sometimes kids are a little more oblivious.
I only ever had one barbie when I was growing up and the only reason I wanted her was because I could do a chemical reaction and take her hair from straight to curly.
I’m not going to support barbies in my house but I know I won’t be able to prevent relatives from getting them either. So hopefully my daughter will just like to pull their arms off or cut their hair and find interest in other things like books like her mom
.
Jessica´s last blog ..That’s A Wrap
December 9th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Barbie has cankles. LOL Girl, you are a hoot!
I never played with Barbie dolls but my sister loved them and now she buys my girls Barbie dolls for every occasion. But I can’t stand Bratz dolls and somehow they seem to made their way into our home. Freakin trampy ho’ bags! LOL
But I simply can’t do Baby Alive and thankfully somehow my youngest who loves baby dolls hasn’t asked for it. That doll freaks me out! It’s like something out of Poltergeist.
Run DMT´s last blog ..Let it Snow
December 9th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
I was anti Barbie but have since reconsidered. I only buy the ones that are fully clothed though (no slutty Barbies for my girl). I’ve found that she only plays with them about once a week and would much rather play with legos or cars. They do sell other dolls similar to Barbie but they aren’t large chested, skinny street walkers and she has a few of those too.
I think Mazzy wants that same doll but since she has about 5 we got her something else…
Merry Christmas!
Missy´s last blog ..Decking our "halls"
December 12th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
If it poops too much, just take the batteries out
Nicole´s last blog ..St. Catherine’s Monastery (Part2)
December 13th, 2009 at 2:07 pm