Male Order Metamorphosis
I love my husband. Really, I do.
It’s just that…well…um…uh…how should I put this?
He’s a geek.
The really intelligent kind who can whip out all sorts of random information at the drop of a hat, solve a Rubik’s Cube in minutes, or calculate the tip at meals like nobody’s business.
But there is one major downfall to having all of that hard drive space upstairs crammed and busy processing information.
There leaves little room for common sense.
You know, common knowledge for things such as an empty toilet paper roll translating to needing a new roll of toilet paper.
Or, when the trashcan lid can no longer close, that means there is too much garbage in the bag, so it needs to be taken out, and wedging just 5 more pieces of junk mail into it is not going to make it any better.
Or, when it’s your wife’s 30th birthday, don’t get her nothing. Or better yet, don’t give her a tire pressure gauge to make up for it on Christmas either.
Things like this have been going on for years. And over time, I’ve just rolled with the punches (minus the tire pressure gauge. I’m taking that one to the grave). I’ve found that just doing it myself saves me a ton of grief, and if I want something done, I need to be specific.
It’s all about being specific.
As in, “Honey, please take the trash bag out. Not just outside of the door so the smell isn’t in the kitchen anymore, but all the way to the trashcan outside beside the house. K?”
Anyhow, a few months ago he left for a business trip and I gave him a no-stuffed-animal gift request for our daughter. Because seriously. She has enough to donate two, maybe three, stuffed animals to every child in China.
But It didn’t work. It was my fault. I forgot to remind him while he was away via phone, and consequently he arrived home with the most hideous stuffed animal.
So last week, when he left for another business trip, I made sure to call him and kindly remind him every.single.day.
And it worked!
Sort of.
He came home with this lovely package for our daughter.
Apparently, I need to revamp the degree of specificity.
No animals, including bugs. Live or stuffed.
Subcategory: No MAGGOTS!
*shudders*
Oh, and he bought me a little sumthin’-sumthin’ this time, too.
Did I mention I gave up chocolate for lent?
*le sigh*
HA! No offense, but I’d take the stuffed animal. At least it doesn’t creep.
Your husband and mine…gotta love ‘em (like the time mine got me a dress for Christmas that I already had…)!
Cecily R’s last blog post..Photo Story Friday and The Red Door
March 30th, 2009 at 1:11 am
*ROFL* I married a geek too. It took me several years before I figured out exactly how specific I needed to be.
Now – I give him URLs to the exact color, size, and weight of gift I would like. (much better than getting a lanyard from the company store for Christmas (no joke.))
I found he’ll do anything if I just ask (VERY SPECIFICALLY).
However, I’m noticing that recently – he expects me to read HIS mind. I didn’t pass the potatos to the other end of the table. And I should have KNOWN that he would want more.. WTF? I guess he hasn’t realized that I’m a geek too…
Hecticmom Undone’s last blog post..Today I Earned My Black Belt
March 30th, 2009 at 1:13 am
Men! Hehehehe.
Veronica’s last blog post..Death! Death and destruction!
March 30th, 2009 at 2:55 am
I’ve grown one of those ladybug kits. They’re really cool. I bet Babisodes will love it.
Solomon’s last blog post..Things I’m Grateful For on Sunday 29 March
March 30th, 2009 at 5:27 am
hahaha, that part of receiving chocolate even though you gave it up for lent is so hilarious. My husband does things like that all the time, your not alone.
Leidy’s last blog post..You get 86,400 a day
March 30th, 2009 at 7:51 am
Do you want me to train him? Although .. it DID take me a long time before I started getting it right. On, nevermind. Just give him a list to work from – one for you and one for Precious.
lceel’s last blog post..Workout, working out, work’s out.
March 30th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Common sense is overrated! Viva La Geek!
Hockeyman’s last blog post..What a Day…
March 30th, 2009 at 9:14 am
I’d go with a written list too.. a Do’s and Don’ts sort of thing. Chocolates were good though. Once hubs brought home our kids cricket and mealy worm lollypops. Ew!
Tara R.’s last blog post..Hearts
March 30th, 2009 at 9:14 am
our husbands are related – I am sure!
Laura’s last blog post..
March 30th, 2009 at 9:24 am
I think it’s a guy thing. This past Christmas my husband got me “sexy” underwear. Yeah that was nice opening in front of the kids. He told me afterward it was going to be steak knives but couldn’t find anything cheap enough. lol And then when I was griping to my parents about it my dad says “what’s wrong with steak knives?” Apparently that is what he had gotten my mom! ha! MEN!
Sassy’s last blog post..Does anybody hear me?
March 30th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Definitely the stuff animals is the lesser of the two evils! And less than two weeks and you can break into the chocolate eggs! lol
Emily’s last blog post..See Kai Run Giveaway
March 30th, 2009 at 10:25 am
I married a geek too ~ but he was young enough to train properly ~ well most of the time.
Barb’s last blog post..I made some Boo Boo’s
March 30th, 2009 at 10:29 am
So then you’ll be doing a chocolate giveaway later today?
Beth (A Mom’s Life)’s last blog post..Miracle Monday
March 30th, 2009 at 11:04 am
He is definetly trying…as hard as a geek can try! The chocolate was a good one…just hold a few more days to enjoy it. The bugs…well, they may just have to go to bug heaven a little sooner than expected. LOL!
Dejoni’s last blog post..The Sheik of Hooterville
March 30th, 2009 at 11:16 am
You know, at times it was like I was writing about J there… seriously. What is it about being married to a geek?! O.o
Marylin’s last blog post..Photohunt: Hands
March 30th, 2009 at 11:21 am
LOLOL, seriously, maggots?? That’s too funny!
March 30th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
ROFL! At least he remembers to bring gifts! When you get ready to send Babisodes stuffed pets to China, let me know. LW has ten or twenty billion to donate too!
March 30th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Ooh we did one of those ladybug kits last Spring.. and butterflies too.. Sugarplum loved it and couldn’t wait to let them go in the garden at my mom’s house. She’s already asked if we can “grow butterflies” again this year
Sugarplumsmom’s last blog post..Legacy – Part 1
March 30th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
I don’t know if this will work for you, but I am a saver by nature. I tend to put things away and use them later. So, often I’ll take the children’s less desirable toys and objects and let’s be honest here, hide them. Actually, they are just out of view. So, can you do that with the chocolate and the lady bug kit? Unless, of course, Daidsodes beats you to it and sends the check in to the company before you can take care of the kit. Seriously, this worked for me for the longest time. My kids forget about the new toy soon enough and they are on to something else. Good luck!
Joyce-Anne’s last blog post..Let me out, I need air
March 30th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Bugs rock!!! I’m not helping much, am I?
BusyDad’s last blog post..A Y Chromosome Runs Through It
March 30th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
That’s hilarious, but I would totally dig the ladybugs. I’m wearing a ladybug necklace today!
I gave up alcohol and sweets for lent and have to watch my mom drink wine every night and eat sugary stuff and it’s hard, but just think about how good that chocolate will taste in two weeks minus one day! I AM counting, yes I am.
March 30th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
I see that you are married to my son-in-law’s brother. Hee hee We are related! My daughter has to be very, very specific. She ends up sounding bossy but really, I have watched the guy in action. Hahahha I love him to pieces and from a distance, it is funny. Some days it gets to her. She writes him lists of the only things he can get her for gifts like what kind of flowers etc. She has learned that it works best if it is on paper except for when he forgets the paper her instructions are on. My grandsons would love the lady bug thing but hmmm…are there not a bazillion of them outside for free? LOL
Christine’s last blog post..Roscoe
March 30th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Oh…Lent is almost over! Those will come in very handy the second it is.
Christine’s last blog post..Roscoe
March 30th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Well, at least he thought of you guys! *LOL*
Although I agree with many before me, I think I’d gladly take a heinous stuffed animal compared to maggots! LOL!!!!!
And the chocolate? Well; I’m just glad to know that I’m not the only one with a crazy clueless husband.
Jac’s last blog post..Expensive Tastes are developed young
March 30th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Honestly, he sounds sweet. He brought you a present, didn’t he?
Men simply have selective hearing disorder. It’s not new or different. You just have to pin notes to their underwear, as though they were two.
The Mother’s last blog post..The “Now, Johnny” Syndrome
March 30th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
oh boy – too funny
you better tell him what to bring instead of what not to bring
but then again – I bet your little one will have fun with the ladybug kit!
Elle’s last blog post..Thin Mints in My Glass
March 30th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
haha. Live ladybug larvae…..classic!!
the chocolate….well classic as well.
I bet you can’t wait for Easter to get here!
Don’t feel bad about the hubby though, my husband is an electrician and when our microwave quit working I asked him to look at it. He said he wasn’t a repairman. I said it is electric. He didn’t get it.
Amanda’s last blog post..Scary looking clouds
March 30th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Larvae and currently non edible chocolate. Nice combo.
So obvious it’s a man thing. My son has 2 crowns on his molars, and I have repeatedly told my dad not to give him gum. So what does grandpa do? Buys him a 4 pack of bubbalicious gum. AAARRRGGG!!!!!
Lana’s last blog post..Priorities
March 30th, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Ladybugs are a benefical. After they are grown just put them in the garden.
I love your hubby. Smart guys are cool because they really don’t have a clue.
Patsy’s last blog post..Beautiful Days
March 30th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
I’m thrilled that mine isn’t the only man who is gift-impared. For Christmas 2007, he forgot to get me a gift, so he just asked me to marry him instead.
Tea’s last blog post..#27/365 – It Was a Slow Day
March 30th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
My hubby has no common sense either, like after you take out the garbage, put a fresh bag into the can! What would they do without us!?
Lauren’s last blog post..What Libby thinks of Mommy…
March 30th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
oh, he is very special, isn’t he?
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Treasured moments in the dark
March 31st, 2009 at 12:14 am
Just one more week and then LET ‘ER RIP!!
Grandy’s last blog post..OTS Season – Ready or Not
March 31st, 2009 at 12:24 am
lol. ladybug larva???? wow… that’s deep. i hope you didn’t give it to her!
jameil’s last blog post..Social Drinker
March 31st, 2009 at 12:50 am
live bug for ur girl? hmmm..
at least he didnt get u something manly. chocolate is better..
wen’s last blog post..Blog Header Design Available
March 31st, 2009 at 12:59 am
LOL at least he loves you!
PM’s last blog post..A Summer Day Tale
March 31st, 2009 at 1:06 am
Oh NO!!!! At the chocolate.
The ladybugs you can send to me? Okay?
Jientje’s last blog post..Would you?
March 31st, 2009 at 1:55 am
Eek! Larvae! I honestly don’t know what he’s thinking when he bought those.
Yum! Chocolates! You’ll enjoy them real soon!
March 31st, 2009 at 2:08 am
Well, I’m glad my hubby doesn’t go on business trips, because after reading your post I’d SWEAR we were married to the same man! lol.
Larva? O.M.G. lol. Very very funny!
sheila’s last blog post..Another year older.
March 31st, 2009 at 7:31 am
Ok, I am also married to a big IT geek…but….the day he brings home bug larva!? DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 31st, 2009 at 8:35 am
Great post!! I almost shot my coffee out of my nose!
Elaine B.’s last blog post..Legitimizing your Items-Demystifying UPC Codes Part 2
March 31st, 2009 at 10:31 am
:Giggle:
SarahHub @ Oakbriar Farm’s last blog post..The Negotiator
March 31st, 2009 at 10:33 am
Very sweet post. Larvae is gross but all very sweet.
Style Contessa’s last blog post..Couture Wedding Invitations-Paper Nosh
March 31st, 2009 at 10:35 am
Sandy – I love this post!!! Hilarious!! Those damn LadyBug Larvae!!! My girls got that for their birthdays a summer ago and we actually followed through and did the whole thing. Sent away for the larvae, grew ‘em, killed some, raised a few others and then let them go in the backyard. But that fact that your husband brought those home is HILARIOUS! I can honestly say my husband would never do that – he knows I would have a fit…..anyway – and the chocolate? Me too for LENT! That is torture!! HA HA HA !
Anyway – at least he can solve a Rubik’s cube in minutes….great for kids’ parties. ?!?
Lee of MWOB’s last blog post..Showering like it’s 1965.
March 31st, 2009 at 11:04 am
I’m not the best gift-giver either… but that “hideous stuffed animal” is hilarious! …and i’ve learned that common sense is not that common…
Nino’s last blog post..Albany, NY
March 31st, 2009 at 11:29 am
oh man – that is my husband – too smart for his britches – NO – NONE – NOT A WIT of common sense!!!!!!!
March 31st, 2009 at 11:48 am
Oh My! What in God’s green earth was he thinking?????? Bringing home bugs? For your daughter? And I guess the chocolate is for after Lent? Just early… maybe…..
Jenners’s last blog post..Mr. Jenners Answers Your Questions
March 31st, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Men. they just don’t get it.
CC’s last blog post..Ban the Word
March 31st, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Hee! Our daughter got sea monkeys for her Bday.
Asianmommy’s last blog post..Cute, Personalized Hair Clips
April 1st, 2009 at 12:22 am
I admire you. I’d be freaking out. Hate is a strong word, not to be used lightly. But I HATE bugs. Even small, cute, helpful ones. But like you, I love my geek. (Brains are sexy!) So I would probably smiled and said, Oh! Maggots. How sweet!?!
Prontip’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
April 1st, 2009 at 9:22 am
LOL! I’m a geek too so I understand
Michelle’s last blog post..Comment on Fab Find…Deb Shops by Kim Diamond
April 1st, 2009 at 10:11 am
Hahaha! Well, at least he remembered you LIKE chocolate, as opposed to tire pressure gauges. And I don’t think geekiness is the reason. Non-geek men are worse. Now please write 100 times, “It’s the thought that counts, it’s the thought that counts, it’s the thought that counts….”
Dot’s last blog post..I’ll Never Get Back, Part 2
April 1st, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Your poor husband! It sounds like he is really trying to please you, but keeps on making mistakes. I give him a lot of credit for trying. I hope it gets easier for you!
Cascia @ Healthy Moms’s last blog post..Virtual Great American Bake Sale for Strength.org
April 2nd, 2009 at 11:46 am
You almost made me spit red vine all over my screen with the Ladybugs!!!
He’s hilarious!
Just eat the chocolate later
Nicole’s last blog post..Photohunt @Sweetsauer
April 2nd, 2009 at 11:51 am
LOL
Well, at least he is thoughtful…and it’s the thought that counts!
And hey…you only mentioned the tire gauge…what about those spa trips?! Remember? See…he gets to make up sometimes…
Maripsoa’s last blog post..Loving and Living!
April 2nd, 2009 at 12:30 pm
The problem with your husband is not that he is a nerd, it is that he is a MAN
Jessica’s last blog post..Those are Some Big Premiums You’ve Got There
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Haha hilarious! You and Dadisodes are so meant to be! I still remember the egg he gave you and that’s super sweet. Lady Bug larvae for the kid? Yay! Be happy it’s not an ant colony in a terrarium.
katcarneo’s last blog post..Rara, Lala, and Children’s Books
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:02 am
I am cracking up over here! Trust me sweetie, you are not alone…and that’s all I have to say about that!
Christie – A Work in Progress’s last blog post..On My Nightstand: I’m Tripple Fisting
April 4th, 2009 at 6:44 am
We feel your pain!
Kate @bunchablueeyedmonkeys’s last blog post..I’m not all American Idol all.the.time…
April 7th, 2009 at 12:34 pm