Nuthin’ But a G String, Baby
Entry re-posted recycled (it’s good for the blogosphere) for Genny’s Mom-Monday event at MyCup2Yours. This week she blogs about how laughter is good medicine for moms, so I hoped to follow suit. After a rough week, this pre-Valentine’s Day post definitely brought a smile to my face…and maybe just a little bit of color.
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The past three years has been a learning process. Not only in my role as a mother, but also in the motherhood social arena.
For instance, when Babisodes was a wee infant breastfeeding on demand, I learned the importance of loading a battery of supplies into my diaper bag, just to leave the house for an hour. Breastfed poop, can and will go everywhere. There is no such thing as too many extra pants. And those changing pads the size of paper towels will. not. cut it. Seedy poop can get some distance.
Before she learned how to speak, I foresaw the benefits of teaching her sign language. Basic signs such as “more,” “please,” and “all done” not only facilitated communication between us, but restaurant patrons around us were also able to enjoy their meals in a bit more peace and quiet.
Today, I do my best to try and prep her before walking into social settings. Mainly playdates. I have a little laundry list we cover beforehand. I often remind her that it is best to speak kindly, take turns, and although it can be challenging, it is important to share with friends.
So far I have been pretty good about anticipating and preparing for social catastrophes with my daughter.
Usually.
That is until last week. When toddlerhood’s honest, literal sense threw me a humdinger of a social reality check.
For the first time, perhaps since Babisodes was a non-speaking, non-mobile infant, I braved the frilly-laced racks of a lingerie store. Preparing for Valentine’s Day of course.
I should have taken the immediate warning signs seriously in the store, but I didn’t.
Not even two minutes after walking into the store, I turned around to scold her, “Stop walking through the panty racks!” as she brushed away armfuls as if it were a G-string jungle.
I should have known better, but I didn’t.
I put my big girl panties on and sucked it up. I decided I would make this trip as quick as possible. Besides, they only had a handful of options in my size. So I grabbed them and ran for refuge in the fitting rooms.
Of course, every single stall was occupied, except one.
The stall was riddled with un-hung clothing in various sizes, clearly left behind by shoppers.
In a hurry, Babisodes and I went in anyway. I sat her on top of a bench and quietly went over a laundry list of fitting room etiquette.
“Do not touch anything. Do not sit on the floor. And you must stay inside this stall only.”
“Okay, mommy” she said softly amidst the bustling fitting room noise.
I handed her a book to keep her occupied and began unhooking a delicate, pink teddy from a hanger.
“Mommy. When will I have boooobz like yours?”
“Shh!”
(If she’s lucky enough to get bug bites in the right places, perhaps maybe this summer.)
“Oh Mommy! Don’t forget to try on DAT HOT PINK UNDERWEARS!”
<<<<crickets>>>>
Not to mention, the hot pink panties were not brought in by me, and they were approximately 10 times larger than my size. I had strapped on my big girl panties, but they’re not that big.
Amidst the deadened silence, I said to myself- Screw it. This teddy will fit…mostly…probably…I think. We’re outta here.
Methinks lingerie will be missing from my wardrobe until I have a sitter for Babisodes.
Until then, we’ll be ringing in the holidays of love with neutral colored, faded, cotton full coverage…
…just my size.
Woo, your little one is growing up FAST!
Bri’s last blog post..Happy New Year?
February 17th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
I took my daughter maternity clothes shopping this weekend. Also quite the event.
February 17th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
The grow up so fast. I learned that lesson real fast with my two. Especially since mine are boys.
Jessi’s last blog post..You can’t have salad until you finish dessert
February 17th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
You go girl!
And might I just say, “It’s about time!”
We need things like that!
February 17th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
I always look at the whole “inappropriate comments from the peanut gallery” thing as a blessing. We all want smart engaging kids who can speak their mind.
Right???
The Mother’s last blog post..Don’t Have a (Sacred) Cow!
February 17th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
It probably got real quiet around you because everybody was straining to hear what her take on lingerie would be. I know I would have been listening. It would have been the highlight of my day! With the comment asking you if you would try on “Dat hot pink underwears” I don’t know if I would have been able to laugh quietly. Hahahaha! Seriously funny! She probably thought they were beautiful.
I love shopping with my four year old grandson. He loves red. He loves glitter. You should see the outfits he picks for me.
Christine’s last blog post..After Girls Night Out
February 17th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Too funny! I remember having to go bathing suit shopping with a 1 and 3 year old… good times! Unfortunately I don’t think it gets easier when they get older. Try taking a 6 year old boy into the bathroom or dressing room with you :S In most places I’m too scared to leave outside even for a minute!
Cookie’s last blog post..Then and Now
February 17th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
One of my best stories ever was when I took the daddy and all 3 girls shopping for bras. Now that is a story I think I’ll write up. You can only imagine!!
Patsy’s last blog post..Dialogue of Two Idiots
February 17th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Oh my gosh that is HILARIOUS!! I haven’t been that brave yet at all. Those times are reserved strictly for running at lunch time.
My little girl loves the lace, shimmer, and shine. She would want everything for herself. Now I don’t think I could handle that!
Amanda’s last blog post..What happens when your daddy is a "gamer"
February 17th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
My youngest daughter is always telling my wife to “wear those ones that don’t have a back!” She’s apparently fascinated by them.
However, as a result, my wife has pretty much given up on them except when wearing pants where “smoothness” dictates their use….and she changes out of sight of the little one.
February 17th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
hahahaha. my fave is when you do babisodes’ dialect. If she’s lucky enough to get bug bites in the right places, perhaps maybe this summer?? classic! you’re too much!!
jameil’s last blog post..Wait, You’re the T.A.?
February 17th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
This was hilarious! I loved it! And my son (yes … my SON) always asks me: “When will I get hanging down boobies like yours, Mommy?” Never, my son. Never. Now shut up about it!
Jenners’s last blog post..Tuesday Tribute: Creative Giveaway and Helpful Blogging Tips
February 17th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Oh, the children in the changing rooms is torture! I do it all the time (what else am I going to do? Waste precious daycare hours trying on blue jeans?) — but I did manage a child-free afternoon a few weekends ago with my sister, which was pure bliss. I have to say, though, that if I had to choose between changing rooms and public restrooms, I’d prefer the spot where no one will lisp to me, “ahhh, pee pee! Dood job, Mama!!”
MommyTime’s last blog post..Just Bill Me. Please!
February 17th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Um, note to self: when you lose enough weight and are able to grace the threshold of a victoria’s secret, DO NOT take your children…especially the older, loud talking one!! LMAO! Great post as usual!
February 17th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
lol You will be very happy when she’s in school full time–that’s the best time to go shopping.
Joyce-Anne’s last blog post..A Sunday Afternoon
February 17th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Oh what a cute post! –
Very funny and it takes me back to when my kids were much smaller.
Elle’s last blog post..Final Curtain
February 17th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
She catches on quick!
I had a similar experience with my *boy* once … except for the booobz question part of it.
Holly at Tropic of Mom’s last blog post..My son, the morning person
February 17th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
The size doesn’t matter as it never stays on long anyway! Hope you had a great Valentine’s Day!
Dejoni’s last blog post..After the fact
February 17th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
I tried to go shopping with my daughter this weekend. She got tired after only going to one bookstore. No clothes shopping for me!
Asianmommy’s last blog post..Sweet Sushi
February 17th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Hahaha! Kids are so great for that. My boys love to remind me, when we are in public, that when the baby comes it will drink milk from my “boobies”. Yep. That’s true.
No need for fancy smancy unders. They always come off too quickly anyway.
Kat’s last blog post..Next Time I’ll Turn On A Light
February 17th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Oh my gosh..it’s funny the things kids say in a dressing room!!!!!! One time I was trying on clothes and my daughter said, “You’re chubby.” Can you imagine that?????
Alicia’s last blog post..44 ODD THINGS ABOUT ME
February 18th, 2009 at 2:54 am
*giggles* Cute post, Sandy. Loved it.
Maggie’s Mind’s last blog post..Already
February 18th, 2009 at 3:30 am
Ahh…good times. I suffer from bug booby syndrome, too.
Undercover Princess’s last blog post..Honey I’m home!
February 18th, 2009 at 8:33 am
Oh my goodness. The things i could say ….. The places I could go with this …. I must be getting old or something because I am actually going to behave myself …. <3
lceel’s last blog post..The Son has his own
February 18th, 2009 at 9:09 am
The exact reason why I only try on clothes when I can leave the kids home now. Many embarrassing moments. Trying to find clothes to fit my post-kid body is humiliating enough without the play-by-play commentary;)
Ashlie- Mommycosm’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Going, Going, Gone.
February 18th, 2009 at 9:30 am
Ahhhh, hhhhaaaa haaa! That was good! Very funny post. Kids DO say the darndest things! lol
sheila’s last blog post..Wordless full Wednesday ~ Growin’ Old With You
February 18th, 2009 at 10:32 am
ROFL! Oh the joy of shopping with a wee one! I left you a little bloggity love on my own slice of the interwebs on Tuesday!
XOXO
February 18th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Oh, I thought that was cute. And funny! I’m embarrassed to have people see my old, saggy body, but I don’t care about what little kids say. It’s all innocent; they don’t mean any harm. But I can understand not everyone feels that way. So did you buy the hot pink ones?
Dot’s last blog post..OpenOffice Extensions
February 18th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Ah yes, shopping with toddlers can be often bring out the honest truth. I’ve learned that too. Or even taking your toddler to swim lessons at the Y were a 3 year old is far to quick to point out that the elderly lady rising from the water before his class has a big butt!
killlashandra’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Alternate Hair Dryer
February 18th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
LOL Could’ve been worse. She could’ve walked out with panties on her head. And into someone else’s stall.
Ashley’s last blog post..29 Weeks Pregnant
February 18th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
the only time she has ever gone to a place like that w me was VC to get a pair of Pink Sweats. Not that I a reason to get anything else, I’m just saying
February 18th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Giggle….too adorable! You’ve done a great job raising her with manners and respect, love the way you remind her
kathy’s last blog post..I believe I’ll have some Wine
February 18th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
You know what they say about dressing rooms in retail stores… I was even in LL Bean and saw a funny “stain” on the floor. I’m hoping it was gum or something.
Angela at mommy bytes’s last blog post..WW – Snowball Fight
February 19th, 2009 at 12:11 am
O.M.G. Sorry this happened to you – really – but I laughed so hard. Oh man, kids make life so much more fun.
Mishi’s last blog post..Little Ms. Nibbly
February 19th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Methinks you could sell ‘bits’ like this to bring in some extra cash. You have such a wonderful way of allowing stories to unfold ;–)
Hugs and blessings,
happily retired gal’s last blog post..Witty Wednesday and More …
February 19th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Hee! I’m sorry, but that is so funny. Shopping trips of any kind are always an adventure with a small child along.
Kimberly’s last blog post..Evidence of growth
February 19th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Good for you Sandy. I hope you and your husband had a great Valentines day.
Tim’s last blog post..The Horror
February 19th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Giggles!!! I enjoyed this!
Jientje’s last blog post..Fridays Fave Five, a Review of a Wonderful Week
February 20th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
OMG!!!! That has got to be a great experience. I don’t know what I would have done. I have a little boy, so I don’t think I’ll be taking him any where near lingerie.
Felicia – I Complete Me’s last blog post..Get Fit Friday and Domestic Violence
February 20th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
At least she isn’t asking you to buy HER the lingerie. As we were browsing HOT TOPIC, Katelyn discovered a hot pink and black outfit (pink lace boddice, black petticoat skirt with hot pink lace trim) that she was BEGGING us to buy for her. I told her it was for grown-ups and wouldn’t fit her but she kept following me around the store, holding it up to herself, insisting that it WOULD fit. My husband just about DIED. I thought it was hilarious!
SherE’s last blog post..Grow, baby, grow!
February 24th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
How cute! Babisodes is such a darling. It’s really funny what kids say. I’m not a mom, but I worked at a pre-school before and although 15 toddlers in one class drove me out of my mind, hearing their conversations used to crack me up all the time.
katcarneo’s last blog post..Just Pictures
February 25th, 2009 at 3:14 am
LOLOL, I would have gone running out of there!
June 29th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
I can’t stop laughing!
Cafe Fashionista’s last blog post..Second Summer
June 29th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
LOL… kids will say the cutest things to you….! i am always very thankful my niece still tells me i am very beautiful. i am going to hangon to the fact that kids don’t lie, right!
savvymode’s last blog post..Switzerland: Matterhorn & Beautiful Views
June 29th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
That’s hilarious because I wasn’t the one getting those questions.
Maria@Conversations with Moms’s last blog post..MMM: Time to get back on track
June 29th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
It was just as funny as the first time around. What a hoot.
sheila’s last blog post..Two Kings and a MaiTai
June 29th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Oh, the things they say in public…
Andrea’s last blog post..Be where you are
June 29th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Too funny Sandy! She’s a cutie.
Reminds me of the little kid in the movie rental store who saw popcorn and started crying out “porn, porn” much to the embarassment of the mom, lol.
Thanks for sharing,
Carlen
June 29th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
Hahah this sort of reminds me of when I went shopping with my cousin and her daughter, who was about 3 at the time. We were in line at CVS waiting to pick up a prescription, and the little girl grabbed a basket and started pulling things off of shelves and racks to fill her basket. When I looked at the contents, I couldn’t help but laugh: she’d filled it with condoms.
Alana @ The Good Girl Gone Blog’s last blog post..Jen vs. Angelina: how did it come to this?
June 30th, 2009 at 11:30 am
Okay, this was hilarious. I could just picture it. So glad you put this one up!
genny’s last blog post..Laughter: It’s Good Medicine for Moms
June 30th, 2009 at 7:38 pm