Reality Rewired
(*Disclaimer- If you cannot make it through an episode of E.R. you may want to shield your eyes from the post below. Feel free to scroll down to yesterday’s 100 Words. I understand.)
“Heart rate- 20 and dropping. Starting chest compressions.”
“We can’t get an IV! All her veins are blown. And she has no line.”
“Give the Epinephrine down her ET tube.”
“One-and-two-and-three-and-four-and-five… Breath…”
“How many doses of Epi have we given? Still no heart rate. It’s been well over 5 minutes. Are we going to call time?”
“Time-3:52 am. Her parents are already on their way to the hospital. I’ll wrap her in blankets so her parent’s can hold.”
The snapping of latex gloves fills the room. Silence thickens as the beeping and colored displays on monitors abruptly turn off. The silence deafens. So much that no one dares to speak. Everyone enters autopilot through the dark, silence of the night, numbed.
The flurry of machines and hospital staff trickle away from the bedside. I’m finally left alone with the baby. A child whose spent more hours in her lifetime with me as her nurse than her parents. A life that never had the chance to feel the sun, a drop of rain, or her father’s hand. My mind reels back into her final moments, replaying it over and over. But the sobs from behind interrupt, and remind me that a mother is waiting. Unable to detach or remove anything from the child (protocol), I gently swaddle her in two blankets to hide the wounds, tubes, and discoloration from her final battle for life. I lower her into the arms of her weeping mother. Fighting back tears of my own as she rocks her baby girl gently in a chair for one last time.
This scenario took place on my very first day as a registered nurse. Foreshadowing many scenarios of loss in my career. Every nurse digests loss and death in his or her own way. Some bitch and complain bitterly about doctors or residents. Others crave the intensity and adrenaline. For me, on the exterior, it was always the same. Just silence. Everyone around me interpreted it as a calm, cool manner, juggling each emergency with grace. However, the silence only masked my suppression, me digesting a new career, expectations, and life and death decisions. The walk down to the morgue sometimes became a brief break from the chaos. And over time, the feeling of life leaving from beneath my very hands took a subconscious toll.
It always happens quickly. Whether an expected death or not, it’s always the same. Just a few seconds, and there is no turning back. Some patients smiled and laughed one minute, and went limp the next. The quickness, uncertainly, and finality of every loss weighed heavily as I took each one with me.
Within months, the continual loss manifested itself into intense anxiety. Specifically, a fear of loss. In a sense part of me reverted back to an elementary fear of separation anxiety. An overwhelming concern clouded my thoughts each time a loved one left the house, drove in a car, flew out of town, etc. The split second loss of life filled every possible scenario. Although consciously aware of my unsound reasoning, all of the loss I carried screamed over any rationality.
Like most things in life, I just dealt with it. Whatever scenario I feared most, I placed myself in it, stared it in the face, and suffered through. Wash, rinse, and repeat until anxiety subsides.
All was well again after a few months. And through the years, not a trace was left behind. Even now, I don’t believe anyone knows I struggled with this. Even I forget. The feelings are barely tangible anymore, until weeks like these when Dadisodes leaves for business. A few split second scenarios managed to trickle back in this week.
And I find myself sitting here in silence, masking the suppression others will interpret as grace.
WOW! I can’t imagine the strength you have. I must say that while it seems like you encounter such scenarios at times, it’s such a rewarding profession.
I had been gone awhile, so my catch up begins now…
Angela’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #5
August 19th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I’ve never even been through anything traumatic like that, but anytime my husband travels I get VERY paranoid…..I check the doors and windows multiple times to make sure that they are locked. I go through scenarios in my head on how I would get the kids and escape if there was a fire or an intruder….I sleep with my cell phone and the house phone and my glasses IN bed with me. I know it is silly, and what will be will be…..but still. Sigh. Hang in there lady. He will be home soon.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
I am amazed by you. I could not have done that. I could barely read it. It makes things too fragile.
brittany’s last blog post..Dermatological Guest Post
August 19th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
I defy anyone, anyone, to read that – I mean really READ that – and not come away with tears in their eyes. You are such an extraordinary woman – and I am just struck dumb with admiration.
lceel’s last blog post..Christy’s Meme
August 19th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I love the clarity and honesty of your writing.
Daniel’s last blog post..A Country Wedding
August 19th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Hang in there, sweetie. I totally get this. Totally. If you need me, msg or email me. We can chat for as long as you want – by phone or internet. I totally hear you. *hugs*
Ashley’s last blog post..Looking back, looking forward
August 19th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Wow. I don’t know how you did it.
You will see Dadisodes again soon. This is what I have to tell myself now that my hubs is traveling every other week. Hang in there girl!
elaine’s last blog post..Stolen Moments
August 19th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Wow! What an amazing post. Just perfect.
I always suffered the “worst case scenario” syndrome too. My mom always swore that it was because I grew up knowing death can happen at any age (my sis died when she was 9). I still have it. And having children has made that urge stronger though I do pretty well supressing it on the outside too.
What a fabulous post, Sandy. Wow. Really.
Kathryn’s last blog post..PSF- Healing Waters
August 19th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
oh, honey …. *hugs*
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Random acts of blondness, part the sixth
August 19th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
and THAT is why I could never be in the medical field and respect most of those that are.
KEEP BELIEVING
Angie @ Keep Believing’s last blog post..Kevin and Heather
August 19th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Angela- So glad to see you back
Thank you so much for stopping by. Nursing can certainly be rewarding…..at times.
abunslife- YES! You hit the nail on the head. I’m doing all of that too.
Brittany- Thank you. It does make things a bit fragile indeed.
lceel- Thank you Lou. You are too kind
Daniel- Thank you, and thanks for stopping by.
Ashley- Oh Ash, thank you for offering your support. That really means so much.
elaine- Thank you for the reassurance. I have no idea how you do this every other week!
Kathryn- At age 9? I am so sorry. I can only imagine how much stronger that makes the urge to worry.
the planet of janet- Thanks Janet
Angie @ Keep Believing- I definitely respect those who can stick it out in settings like these for their entire career. I’m not sure I could.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
whoa.
Im thankful for people such as you whose gifts are SO NOT things I could ever do.
MizFit’s last blog post..Tuesday Testdrive and RAK revisited.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Wow…I’m almost speechless. I do know how you feel. I’m not a nurse but I have seen death in several different ways. When it first happens it’s a yuck feeling in the pitt of your stomach and you don’t shake it easily. I don’t know if you are a believer but what gives me peace is covering my family with the blood of Jesus and having faith that he carries them in the palm of his hand, every where they go. God bless!
The Glamorous WAHM’s last blog post..How About Another Fantastic Giveaway?
August 19th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Oh, Sandy, what a powerful post.
I hope Dadisodes is home soon.
Sadly, I can relate to the feelings you describe due to losses in my own life that produced similar anxiety.
Jen of a2eatwrite’s last blog post..This Man has Class with a Capital “C”
August 19th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Nurses amaze me.. really. They along w/ doctors, paramedics, fireman, policemen..they are the heros. Not the olympians.
Thanks Sandy.. and that was beautifuly written! xo
mp’s last blog post..Did you know…
August 19th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
you are amazing. and if ever anyone was in that position with their child, God forbid, but it does happen unfortunatly, I’m sure they would be comforted to know you are the most loving, caring, kind and true soul there is. i know i would be. if you can find comfort at all in a time like that. i’m sure it is hard. but looking back, i bet every single parent that had the blessing of your touching thier life or their childs life is very grateful to you and for you. You are amazing. I can’t imagine doing that job. And although you felt like you were hiding your feelings, you truly were handling it all with the most beautiful of grace.
i’m sorry you had to keep your feelings to yourself, or that you chose to keep them in, but i’m glad you can talk about them now… i’m sure it helps to release them.
As for Dadisodes, I truly understand your worry and concern, it is real. I would be too. sometimes i wonder and worry just while Bryan is at work, if he will make it home. but have no worries, he will definitely be home… there is nothing that would stop him from getting home to his two lovely ladies!!
very touching post. i’m so glad that there are selfless people out there in the world helping other in need, and giving all of themselves to do so. I’m also very grateful that i can call you my friend.
xoxoxoxo HUGS!!!!
Jennifer’s last blog post..School Days
August 19th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Nice post.
I knew it my wife is a nurse just like you.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Speachless.
Jientje’s last blog post..Ruby Tuesday Reflect this … Ruby London
August 19th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Wow, Sandy!! I truly admire people who work in hospitals and trauma centers. My husband is a First Responder and a firefighter. The things he sometimes has to see would keep me awake at night. I was asked to be part of the First Response team last year, but declined. I know myself and I just couldn’t handle (or stomach) some of the things that go on. It’s definitely not something everyone can do…and I am thankful that there are people like yourself and my husband who can handle situations like that so well.
C’s last blog post..Engrish…and an award!
August 19th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
You are an unbelievable writer.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Wow… amazing post. It’s sad to hear that the anxiety got from them to you after a while. It’s hard to live in a situation like that for a long time.
Aurora’s last blog post..Going away
August 19th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
This amazing piece of experience (shared so eloquently in a ‘gripping’ manner) reminds me why ‘nurse’ was never an option for me … ever! We all cope in whatever way ‘works for us’ … and the moments of ‘panic’ serve to bring us to recognize we’re not ‘in charge’ … but a power greater than us is …
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you ‘deal’ with Dadisode’s absence … along with the old memories and fears that surface.
Hugs and blessings,
storyteller’s last blog post..Heads or Tails #20 – One Year Anniversary …
August 19th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Wow. The first time I’ve surfed into your blog and I read this. All I can say is thank you for the work you do… anything else said here would be pretentious.
I can’t wait to come back.
August 19th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
you’re amazing sandy. i bet your quiet absorption helped many parents in their grief. i thank you for them again. death is so hard even when you don’t have to deal w/it daily.
jameil’s last blog post..Still Me
August 19th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
After working in health care for 30 years I can somewhat relate to what you are saying even though I was not on the front line. I have often looked at the nurses with a feeling of awe especially after something traumatic has happened. I have many incidents that still play through my mind on occasion even though I was not directly hands on…I was there…I witnessed and helped in my own small way even if it was just to clear the way. Every time the computer says “deceased” when I am looking up addresses for patients and forward the mail to the families I am reminded why we are all there. It cuts through all the day to day mundane things and blows them all away. It brings me face to face with mortality. I always feel sadness and wonder about the families. I say a prayer for them. People think I am strong too. I am not. I hate being home alone for the night. I still think of the nurses with awe. They have way more films running through their minds and hurts on their souls. I will say a prayer for you. It seems so small. It is all I can do. I hope Daddysoides gets home soon.
Christine’s last blog post..My Decent Into Decadence…Day One
August 19th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Wow, Sandy, just wow. I’ve always wondered whether I could do the nursing thing and handle those kinds of situations. Sometimes I think yes; sometimes I think no way.
For whatever reason, I do have thoughts of loss, and did even before really experiencing it and probably more so after, but it hasn’t really reached anxiety level. That said, it’s been hard with Tom being gone, and I do worry more about him when he is not here, as if having dinner together every night could somehow better protect him.
So I kind of get it, on some level, even if it’s different, and I think it does take courage to just keep going in spite of the fears that come to mind. And courage is something you clearly have.
Maggie’s Mind’s last blog post..Honestly?
August 19th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Wow. Just wow.
I can’t imagine that being your first day.
It takes a very special and loving soul to do the job you do. Nurses really don’t get enough credit. Not nearly enough.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..Reviving The Roll
August 19th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
I’ve seen that happen a few times, but never a baby. I know that would be hard. I am still not immune to it and I hope I never get that way.
The worst thing I’ve seen is a mother reacting to the new of her little boy’s death. I will never, ever forget it.
dysfunctional mom’s last blog post..And the Buses Roll Again……..
August 19th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
Oh, this is so painful and raw. Strangely, the first loss you describe in detail is not as haunting to me as the *fear* of loss you articulate in the second half. But perhaps that is because I have mercifully never had to stand by and witness what you did in your job, but as a mother, I have had many moments of chilling, gripping paranoia about the loss of my children. I don’t know how you get past those, but I wish I knew. They are horrifying, and you are very very strong.
MommyTime’s last blog post..The Power of Place
August 19th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Everyone always talks about being a doctor, but very few every acknowledge the nurses, and that’s a real shame. You are so amazing for being able to do what you did. I really admire your strength. I know it’s not an easy job to have (my mom is a nurse and did ICU for 20 years), and I think it’s so awesome that you were able to.
Annie’s last blog post..Jumping does not equal sport
August 19th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
great post…. scares me… maybe I shouldn’t of read it so close to delivery, but so true.
Life is but an instant at a time.
mojavi at Simple Things’s last blog post..things I kind of miss…
August 19th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Thanks for the job you do! Being the parent of a preemie, I know her nurses made all the difference for us during her NICU stay.
As a fellow healthcare worker (I’m a nursing facility social worker and also worked in hospice for a while), we all learn how to deal with the deaths we see and experience in our own way. I think it’s one of those things that you don’t always realize affects you until something brings it to the forefront. I’m glad you’ve found a method for dealing with it.
Kim’s last blog post..The Payoff!
August 19th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Mizfit- Thank you. And people like you totally inspire me to get off my lazy butt
The Glamorous WAHM- Thank you.
Jen of a2eatwrite- Thanks Jen. I’m sure loss can spark emotions like these in most people. Losing someone or seeing life slip away is never easy.
mp- Thanks so much.
Jennifer- You are the sweetest. Really you are. I can always count on you for encouraging words of support. And for that I thank you
I am SO grateful to have you as a friend as well 
ysrael- Thank you so much for stopping by. I’m sure your wife could certainly relate.
Jientje- Thank you for reading Jientje
C- Oh, your hubby has one tough job. I could never do what he does. My hat certainly goes off to him. Good for you for turning it down. No way should you be doing that while preggo!
Joyce-Anne- Thank you. You are the sweetest thing for stopping by regularly and always offering your kind words
So when are you going to start a blog?! 
Aurora- Thanks. It is difficult environment to stay in over time. Burn out is very common.
Storyteller- Thank you Storyteller. You are so kind and eloquent in your comment
Your well wishes are much appreciated.
Michael- Thanks so much for stopping by and reading
Jameil- Thanks Jameil. You’re right. Death is incredibly difficult…not matter how often it occurs.
Christine- 30 years? I am sure you can relate on more levels than you think! After all the scenarios I’ve been through, one thing is for certain. All the personnel involved or around makes a difference as a whole. Especially those who have the sense to clarity in the moment to clear the way. It all makes a difference
I am sure it was tough seeing the loss, even if it was in text. It’s still real. And it’s hard to not think about the loved ones left behind. Thank you for the well wishes 
It means more than you know.
Dysfunctional mom- I agree. I hope I never get immune to it either. The shock and horror of loss is sometimes the hardest things to witness.
MommyTime- I am right there with you on the fear of losing a child. I wasn’t a mother during most of my career, but my career has shaped my thoughts as a mother. And it’s terrifying in every sense of the word.
Annie- Thank you Annie. My hat goes off to your mom for sticking with it for 20 years! That is true dedication.
Mojavi at simple things- Oh no! Oh I’m so sorry you read this while so close to delivery. Ack! so sorry.
August 20th, 2008 at 12:02 am
As a nurse we are faced with loss many more times than the general public, I have built my self a wall that some people have harsh but that is my survival mode, the way I protect myself. What an amazing post.
kim’s last blog post..Colorful PhotoHunters
August 20th, 2008 at 1:04 am
You’re an amazing person, Sandy. I had tears in my eyes thinking of that one little baby and its parents. And you did that over and over again. I have a lot of respect for you. That is something I would just not be able to handle.
Daddy Dan’s last blog post..Daddy Dan Interviews…..Terri Terri Quite Contrary
August 20th, 2008 at 1:55 am
Great post – thanks for sharing. I took a traveling position as a therapist once and left most of what I new behind- great experience but somewhat difficult too.
August 20th, 2008 at 3:44 am
This just makes our brief conversation today even more amazing. How you didn’t lose your mind last night, after me knowing this now, is awe inspiring.
Kelley’s last blog post..My husband has another wife.
August 20th, 2008 at 6:32 am
As a former Student nurse and medial field worker, I cannot begin to tell you how brave I think you are. I cannot deal with that much reality on my face. When I worked at the hospital I got to see and hear too many things that would have made me bitter with the world.
Elaine B.’s last blog post..House of Luxe #2 on 2008 Blogs-To-Show AND Share List
August 20th, 2008 at 6:43 am
i can never work in a hospital. …
wen’s last blog post..Mother
August 20th, 2008 at 7:15 am
Wow. I am so glad that there are people who can do this type of work, because it is so necessary and so challenging. It makes me think there definitely needs to be more care for the caregivers in this society.
Yertle’s last blog post..Gratitude (37/365)
August 20th, 2008 at 10:17 am
On your first day? I can’t imagine. That (and all the other scenarios of loss you faced) had to be so hard. I can understand why you felt the way you did! Makes me extra thankful for doctors and nurses. I got choked up reading this…very powerful.
August 20th, 2008 at 10:24 am
Sandy, I’ve never lost a patient, felt the life go from beneath my hands. However, I believe each of us has something we deal with by pushing it down deep inside and only allowing it out occasionally. It’s how I’m dealing with the loss of my husband. I can’t handle all that grief at once, so I shove it away and only let a little out occasionally to be dealt with. Then I ruthlessly push it away again until the next time. Sometimes it sneaks out when I least expect it. Last week I was driving down the road behind a big rig. The driver had been signaling left for several miles. I remarked that it was like following Ed (something I did a lot of). And then I started to cry quietly. NOT a good thing when you’re driving on the freeway. I know what it’s like to have a husband who is frequently away from home. I dealt with that by refusing to give space or voice to my fears for him. Fortunately I have the ability to not worry about things by not thinking about all the bad things that could happen. It’s a gift I’m grateful for!
Eve’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday # 21
August 20th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
I think Sandy, that we all perceive death differently. After I had Sam 13 years ago I too went thru extreme anxiety and didn’t even know it. It took my mom and ex husband 3 months to get me to leave the house…Why? Because the reality of life and death finally became clear. Someday, whether it be today or years from now, I or some one that I loved was going to die and leave me. Like you as well, I supressed it where no one would know. Dealing thru the attacks in silence, ready to face the next. When my grandfather died in 2002 it came to a climax and I ended up in a mental ward for a week. Of coarse what ended me up there was an allergic reaction to prozac that was prescribed for the anxiety but the bottom line to this story is that I was so afraid of being alone and death that it mentally crippled me. That time I spent in the crazy house (I can say that cause I was in there;o) was a defining moment that changed my life. I wrote a post on it months ago, i’ll have to re-post it for you one day. You being a nurse, you’ll understand the medical aspect of the story and the many side affects people can have.
I write all of this because I understand a little of what you were going thru. Talk to your husband, tell him your fears and what scares you about life and or death. Come to find out I didn’t need anything but someone to tell my fears to and comfort. The acceptance of death helps tremendously as well but people learn that in their own ways. I welcome death when it finally calls my name. We as people have to learn to let go and have faith that there is something more than just this one life. I believe it and look forward to it. If you ever need an ear to listen, I’m here sweet. Your never alone;o)
August 20th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
It takes a different breed of a hero to be a good nurse or doctor…
tracey’s last blog post..A farewell to summer
August 20th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Wow! I can’t imagine having to be there in those situations over and over. I think I would probably handle them just like you on the outside. I tend to be calm in tense situations. I am certainly taking it all in and feeling the moment, but I am not one who panics. I am a thinker so it is usually later as I process that I have to deal with my feelings.
This was beautifully written. Thanks for sharing it.
heartache heartburn’s last blog post..Press This Bookmarklet
August 21st, 2008 at 2:15 am
Wordpress is doing strange things for me today. That is not my last post. you can find my last post here if you are interested…
http://www.heartacheorheartburn.wordpress.com
I think. At this point I’m not sure if even that will work!
heartache heartburn’s last blog post..Press This Bookmarklet
August 21st, 2008 at 2:37 am
THAT is the reason I could never have gone into nursing. I just couldn’t cope with that one bit.
Beautifully written hon. ((hugs))
Marylin’s last blog post..Another post where I have nothing specific to say…
August 21st, 2008 at 5:06 am
The first part of your post brought back memories of both my parents’ last minutes on earth.
And then I continued to read. It was a baby. It broke my heart.
You are one strong person Momisodes.
louann’s last blog post..“Geez” A Post Full Of Rants
August 21st, 2008 at 6:58 am
Thank you for sharing this post.
And praying for a safe return for Dadisodes.
Beth (A Mom’s Life)’s last blog post..Full moon? Fever? What could it have been?
August 21st, 2008 at 7:59 am
How heartbreaking. And to go through that continually…I don’t know how you did it. I have the same fears you do every time my husband goes out of town and it’s always on the back of my mind until he comes home. And I’ve never had a reason for those fears like you! Thanks for a beautiful post.
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August 21st, 2008 at 8:13 am
[...] I totally wig out when Dadisodes [...]
August 21st, 2008 at 10:27 am
You are my hero, sweetie. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Grandy’s last blog post..Thursday 13 – ish
August 22nd, 2008 at 12:04 am
Sandy, I am still in awe of your bravery. BTW, this post gave me some funky dreams. Check out my latest post! LOL!
C’s last blog post..Freaky Friday
August 22nd, 2008 at 12:09 pm
What a lovely, heartbreaking post. I have that same reflex–partly because, like you, my career involves death, though yours was much more intense than the attorney coming in after to clear titles. But I deal with families dealing with death, death of my clients, people I knew. And it is always quick even when the onset is slow. And I too think about death more than most. Thus why I HATE to fly.
Just be sure to treasure your blessed life and don’t let death cheat you of that enjoyment. I say that to myself as much as to you.
Nola’s last blog post..Sayonara
August 23rd, 2008 at 12:21 am
Sandy, I admire your strength going into this profession. I cannot imagine having to deal with that type of loss as part of your job.
Beautifully written, and what an adorable shot of Dadi/Babisodes.
Hope the time before he gets home passes quickly!
Karen MEG’s last blog post..Taming my inner shrew
August 23rd, 2008 at 9:56 pm
That’s a very powerful post, and I understand how those fears about life’s fragility can really get to us. Sometimes I’m so overwhelmed by the thought of how it can all end ina flash that I can barely figure out how to live. I always wondered why it’s not okay for the doctors and nurses to cry with the parents, if only for moment. By the way, Dr. Cason has written a similar post, also powerful. If you’re not familiar with her, I can look up the link.
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November 14th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
[...] Reality Rewired Betsy Wuebker at PassingThru [...]
November 16th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
I have no idea how I missed this post…found it through Weaselmomma…bad OhCaptain.
Great post.
In my life, my exposure to death and loss is extremely limited. I work in IT. When we have a death, it’s usually a piece of hardware. Sometimes we hasten the death of a machine by taking a baseball bat…never mind.
So why am I here writing this? OhCountess is a registered nurse. She worked the ER back in the day. She was also a the nurse with the most Peds training in the medical/surger areas. She’s also got wicked cool mommy skills. My learning to cope with death came from learning how to cope and help my wife cope with the stress and experiences from her job.
When she was going through nursing school, she spent one week working the pediatric oncology floor. As a young man that has never really experience death first hand, I needed to learn quickly. Each night she came home with a new story of a family’s loss. My heart ached. I did my best to hold my wife and be a good listener. Quite often that was all I can do. I have no words that make anything better.
She told me stories of parents that just dropped the kids off at the hospital because the child “was very ill.” It was common knowledge that these parents just needed a break. Other children were in for serious medical problems and never had visitors. We had long talks about offering to take these children into our home permanently. How my wife never seriously injured one of the parents when they picked up the child, I’ll never know. OhCaptain would probably have a long criminal history if I was there.
After the birth of our first child, things really changed for her. I remember on more then one occassion her coming home an emotional wreck. A child had been in the hospital for something that would make most grown men cry, and wouldn’t you know, all she saw was our daughter’s face on this baby. I could never image the pain.
Tell Dadisodes I understand. I could never say I understand what it’s like to be in your’s or my wife’s situation. Be proud of your work. Nurses are quite possible the closest thing we have to living angels walking amonst us.
OhCaptain’s last blog post..Clearing out Thanksgiving & Cribs: Holiday Edition
December 2nd, 2008 at 12:09 pm