Search, And You Will Not Find….
Lately I’ve seen many bloggers post about the off-the-wall, bizarre and often times disturbing ways people in the World Wide Web find their blogs via Search. Of course this only raised my own brow and forced my technologically challenged self to seek out this information for Momisodes. Have any of you done this? What did you use to find this out? I used Feedburner to gather this information (I have an unhealthy addiction to refreshing my Feedburner stats during the day…Shhh! It’s our little secret). Although some of the data is not as precise as I would like it to be, it did spit out some very interesting information on the incoming sources and Search terms used to get to Momisodes. So for today’s Thursday Thirteen, I present the….
Top 13 Strange and Disturbing Search Terms Used To Find Momisodes
1) Nude photo hunt & Naked photo hunt- I swear. This is on the list of incoming Search terms every. single. day. THERE ARE NO NAKED PICS ON THIS SITE! Yet.
2) Married no kids- In case the title of this blog wasn’t enough of a tip off, I’m not sure what else to say other than- the Search box on this site is in the top right corner up there. Thank you for the page views and impressions in advance.
3) Mommy loves leaking- Just an FYI, this Dairy Queen has been closed for business since February 2007.
4) Skinny blog thin inspire- If Oreos, Brownies, donuts, and french fries turn you off, then please feel free to click on any of those links for some inspiration.
5) Cheating wife stories- Well, well, well. Why would you possibly want to read about this? Looking for common signs? Ideas? Well look elsewhere! I’ve never cheated,…while married.
6) Wedding Expenses Futile- Indeed they are. But I’ve never blogged about it, so my advice is to just elope. It’s cheaper. Plus you don’t need to share the booze with 100 guests.
7) Potty training naked peed all over rug- Doh! That has to be disappointing. And so will the search for this on my blog. There are NO NAKED PICTURES on this site.
8 ) What does it mean when baby kittens pant- I don’t know. What does it mean? And why are people ending up here searching for this? I don’t own kittens, or a cat. I only pant sometimes.
9) Yell pee- If you must search for the meaning of this, you’re just dumb. Sorry.
10) Confessions of old dirty man mike blog- Mike? Who are you? And why are you dirty and confessing on my blog?
11) How much Advil is lethal- Probably more than the recommended dose on the bottle. And if you’re searching for ways on how to commit suicide, this blog is not the happy place you want to be.
12) Male strippername- Sure, I’ll hand them out. Shoot me an email with an attached photo and I’ll generate one just. for. you.
13) Panty wearing men- I have no idea why, but this always shows up on my Google ads. I don’t believe I have ever blogged about panties. And definitely never about men wearing them. So please, come and click on that Google ad link about this and bump up my Adsense payout to $0.50 cents will ya!
Before I go I wanted to thank two amazing bloggers for bestowing these fabulous awards onto me this week. I would also love to pass them on to others as well…
If Mom Says Ok gave me rockin’ award (very cute award, eh?). Thank you so much!
I’d love to pass this award onto just some of the bloggers I’m incredibly addicted to:
Busy Dad Blog, Firecracker Mom, kaiseralex, LB , Whiskey In My Sippy Cup, Sarcastic Mom, Sleepless Nights, Things I’m Grateful For, Functional Smunctional, Just a Brit Different, Make it a Double
Jientje at Heaven In Belgium gave this beautiful award to me. I love it dearly because this bouquet has many of the flowers my hubby gave me the night he proposed 
Thank you sweetie!
I would like to hand this award to just some of my devoted readers and blog friends who keep me going everyday with their comments and emails:
Huckdoll, Crazy, Magic, Sometimes Hectic, Beautfiul LIFE!, Roots or Wings, Lou Lohman, andie summerkiss, Jogging In Circles, AtomiK Kitten, Adamswife’s Weblog, Small Reflections, Chris’s Coop, Mariposa’s Tales
LOL! That’s quite some strange keywords. Usually, I’m having “Ode to not famous people” or things like that but never the naked thing XD Congrats on the awards =)
bbZuSh’s last blog post..Stupid Cyclone!
January 31st, 2008 at 1:51 am
hahaha!! that’s a good post… you (and your blog) sure are funny
cheers
sting’s last blog post..A “Less” Day!
January 31st, 2008 at 2:48 am
Thankyou so much!
I laughed so hard at your search terms. I get my search terms via sitemeter.
Also? Thos flowers you like? I created them. I knew I should have added my url at the bottom. Glad you like them hun!
Veronica’s last blog post..I Can Haz Kittens?
January 31st, 2008 at 2:52 am
WEIRD! Analytics can be bizarre, disturbing, funny and sad all at the same time. Thank you for the award, sweetie!! You are seriously the best! Is it just me or does it feel like the Oscars in the blogosphere lately? Crazytime!
Huckdoll’s last blog post..Ummmm. Snow?
January 31st, 2008 at 3:26 am
I’ve been seeing lots of posts about these Google searches too. I’ll have to ditch my technophobe ways and figure out how to get these kind of stats. Too fecking phunny!
zenmomma’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #15 – Let’s get packing!
January 31st, 2008 at 4:32 am
Thank you so much for the award.
Solomon Broad’s last blog post..1 Week Giveaway
January 31st, 2008 at 5:28 am
[...] Momisodes has awarded me another award. My blog is rated E for Excellent. [...]
January 31st, 2008 at 6:09 am
the lists crack me up!! i’m obsessed with checking keywords.
hilarious!
xoxo
January 31st, 2008 at 7:44 am
My very first award!!!! Thank you for
breaking my cherrybeing so kind. In the words of the immortal Sally Field – “You like me!! You really, really like me!” And I like you, too.Lou Lohman’s last blog post..Thursday 31 Jan
January 31st, 2008 at 8:44 am
*lol* I’m keeping a spreadsheet of mine to see where they go! I’ve gotten a few odd ones…and a few not-so-odd…and some that make no sense that they’d find my site.
Don’t you just love the WWW?
Sadie’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen – #1
January 31st, 2008 at 8:49 am
Funny, and a little scary! It always amazes me what searches lead to my site, too! Happy T-13!
Laura’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #4
January 31st, 2008 at 9:11 am
LOL! Those are hilarious!
Thanks so much for the award! I am blinging out my blog!!
You made it one month…..only 11 more to go! Congratulations….reward yourself today!
Have a fantastic day!
Adrienne’s last blog post..Cornucopia of Crap Edition #1
January 31st, 2008 at 9:16 am
Oh, fun!
People have gotten to my blog via “cheezeburger and pregnancy,” “electric snot sucker,” “boobs and bathroom,” and “Roger Michael Needham.”
Anne’s last blog post..Nine Month Checkup
January 31st, 2008 at 9:19 am
LOL! Great post…and your right…those are disturbing…
i am afraid to know how people are finding my site….
Robyn’s last blog post..Award!
January 31st, 2008 at 9:35 am
You are too kind, Sandy. I love your blog. It always makes me smile. Such a great refreshment on a sucky day at work.
andie summerkiss’s last blog post..Handwriting and Character
January 31st, 2008 at 9:52 am
This list is too funny!!! Like Momma Zen, I’ve seen several of these kinds of T-13s lately but have no clue how to get this information about my own blogs. Perhaps you could clue us in?
I’ve got my T-13 up but am about to go back to bed because my head hurts … so much so that I almost missed the lovely floral bouquet you awarded me so graciously this morning. I’m touched by your generosity and my spirits are lifted even as my body fails me right now.
I hope you have a delightful day and that the packing is going well.
Hugs and blessings,
storyteller’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #10 Quotes to Consider
January 31st, 2008 at 9:57 am
LOL! Again, I love your wicked sense of homor;) Panty wearing men, eh? They have a name for that one…And if you DO get any pictures of the male strippers, you can share you know…As for Confessions of old dirty man mike blog, if you do find him, send him my way, that way I can find him and kick his bloody damn ass..old pervert.
Have a great day and good posting!
Crystal’s last blog post..What are YOUR typing skills? Hhmmm?
January 31st, 2008 at 10:19 am
I didn’t know that you could get the search terms used via site meter. Now I will have to go and check that out. I do have a habit of checking the meter to see where my visitors are coming from and checking my stats. Hahahaha! Why this obsession? Now if I can get the search terms there will be an extra obsession added to my list of obsessions. Any way Sandy…you have some very normal ads today but I expect the male pantie ads will be back now. Thank you for the flowers. I kind of feel like I am at the Oscars. I feel like I should have a speech or something so I would like to thank my mother for having me, my daughter for getting me to blog in the first place, NaBloPoMo for connecting me to so many nice blogging friends, all my blogging friends for coming and visiting me @#4!!!//?????? No! you can’t drag me off the stage! I am not finished with my speech yet! What do you mean that my time is up? I didn’t get to take a bow yet! Sorry Sandy- Ahem- I should blog on my own page.
Christine’s last blog post..Homecoming
January 31st, 2008 at 10:29 am
Thank you so much for the award!! I can’t wait to show it off!!
I love number 3!!! Hystercial.. There are a lot of sick people out there.. and the person looking to kick it on advil.. there are a lot faster ways I would imagine.. sick sick sick..LOL
Kim’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen – Vol 3
January 31st, 2008 at 10:42 am
Great list! It is quite scary the things that people are searching for on the internet! I’ve gotten a few wacky search hits too.
Happy TT!
Lene’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen # 16
January 31st, 2008 at 10:53 am
Hilarious list, this kitten is panting from laughter.
Rian Fike’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen: The Greatest Television Show of All Time.
January 31st, 2008 at 11:05 am
OK, how do you tell how people found your blog? I have feedburner, but I can’t locate this info. It sounds like fun to know what people search for to find your blog!
Adrienne’s last blog post..Cornucopia of January Stuff
January 31st, 2008 at 11:09 am
Strange words. How do you know people use these terms when searching that bring them to your blog?
COngrats on getting those awards!
Jo-N’s last blog post..What to do when Daddy and Mummy ……?
January 31st, 2008 at 11:23 am
Those are some freaky searches. Sheesh! Thanks for a good laugh!
Congrats on your well deserved awards!
Kathryn’s last blog post..The Grumpous Gets a Lovely Award
January 31st, 2008 at 11:33 am
It is quite funny how people find us! This list was awesome and I laughed so hard! I get some pretty weird ones too, but my favorite is pretty normal. Sleeping moms. Except what is that? They sure don’t exist!
amy’s last blog post..Taking Care of Business
January 31st, 2008 at 11:55 am
ONE: Oh. My. God. I am totally one of the cool kids now. Thank you.
TWO: the lethal dose of Advil is more than one bottle. Please don’t ask me why I know this.
Mr Lady’s last blog post..More than half is better than none.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Hey thanks for the flowers! You know, you’re searches are as creepy as some of mine. I’ve been found by people looking up midget strippers…
AtomiK Kitten’s last blog post..How someone found me…
January 31st, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Aaahh . . . Google. I truly wonder how many people out there spend their days looking for photos of naked children, only to be disappointed. I turn away at least three per day.
My favorite though? Someone was searching for “Mommy blowing Santa under the Christmas tree.” Sorry, didn’t mean to make you spit out your coffee. (True story, btw, and no, I don’t have any photos of that either.)
Burgh Baby’s Mom’s last blog post..All the Fun Stuff is in the Kid’s Room
January 31st, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Wow! Great List!! I will have to check out Feedburner! I am new to blogging, so I am clueless about all this….lol
January 31st, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Congratulations on your awards, and a very funny thursday 13. Its realy interesting how people come across various blogs!
Casdok’s last blog post..Pants!
January 31st, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I’m too fragile (and techie stupid) to do this. My poor maligned self-esteem would just lie down and die if “show me boring morons” or “inane geekwad” came up!
Tasina’s last blog post..Going Native
January 31st, 2008 at 1:17 pm
lmao @ you being so kind as to offer your free, stripper-naming services should they send you a pic! “you don’t need to share the booze with 100 guests.” if that’s not the best reason to elope, i don’t know what is. i want to know what dummy doesn’t know that baby kittens is redundant.
jameil1922’s last blog post..ALIVE.
January 31st, 2008 at 1:18 pm
thank you very much for the badge!
it is really pretty. i’m in need of flowers today… the kids are making me NUTS!! for some reason they are really whiney/crying/demanding/begging/loud/screaming/annoying today and I just cannot take much more!! thank goodness it is almost nap time!! 
have a great day…
jenn
Jenn’s last blog post..See What You Can Do…
January 31st, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Thanks for the flowers. And congratulations on two more, very deserved awards. I look at what searches have led to my blog, but I don’t recall any of them being funny. And I still have not seen any of those funny ads on your site. I think it knows it’s me and only puts up really mundane stuff when I’m here.
Eve’s last blog post..2008 New Years Questions
January 31st, 2008 at 1:43 pm
You KNOW you just opened up the floodgates for more perverted weirdos with all that. You should have thrown in some more casual words. It would prevent you from hitting refresh so much too! And, it’s also a deterrent to carpal tunnel. How cool is that?
(Oh and btw, you’re the 1st to know, I just recorded myself and attached it to my WoTW post for yesterday.)
Siobhan’s last blog post..Thirteen Reasons I am Thankful for MSN Spaces
January 31st, 2008 at 2:33 pm
LOL, you must’ve mentioned the word naked a few times, that’s quite common in your searches. I find these lists very funny.
Jenty’s last blog post..13 things in my handbag
January 31st, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Sandy, I recommend using Statcounter (statcounter.com), which provides very detailed statistics, especially if you sign up for the paid service.
Daddy Dan’s last blog post..Hillary Clinton Caption Contest
January 31st, 2008 at 2:42 pm
I agree with you re #6. Most wedding expenses are so unnecessary. Eloping is a far better idea, especially for the starter marriage.
Nicholas’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #42
January 31st, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Dude! Number 11 is just scary!
I, too, like to look at my Feedburner stats. *shame* I really need to do one of these posts myself. I get some seriously demented search terms. I love these wacko people coming to my site!
And, Sandy! Thank you so much for the bling! I wish I could give you big hugs and kisses. And see you pant.
Sarcastic Mom’s last blog post..I ordered my Life Alert Button today…
January 31st, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Congrats on the awards! Also, I love those searches… the most… um… interesting searches turn up.
Jen of a2eatwrite’s last blog post..The Writing Game – It’s HERE!
January 31st, 2008 at 4:24 pm
This is such a great idea for a TT– I’ll have to try it sometime. How strange the search terms you’re getting!
Peter Plum’s last blog post..Thirteen Trivia Questions about Esther
January 31st, 2008 at 4:35 pm
I always love the search results and am off to figure out how I can amuse myself with the results on my site…so funny.
HRH’s last blog post..You may want to don mask, gown and gloves…
January 31st, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Now *that* is hilarious! I often check how people find me, too, and I get similar scary results. I might have to do this some Thursday when I can’t come up with ideas because this is such a good one. Thanks for the giggles.
Maggie’s Mind’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen 1/31/08
January 31st, 2008 at 4:52 pm
It always to depresses me to realize that the only people getting my blog on their search engines are sexual deviants. I wish someone was googling “middle aged slightly neurotic, but loveable fat housewife who blogs” but they aren’t.
clickmom’s last blog post..new teeth
January 31st, 2008 at 5:13 pm
I found the cause of the nude photo hunt.
http://www.momisodes.com/?p=241
Solomon Broad’s last blog post..1 Week Giveaway
January 31st, 2008 at 6:31 pm
I’ve had some pretty bizarre search entries in my logs but lately they’ve been more on topic. Happy TT.
January 31st, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I’m afraid to see what brings people to my blog. Seriously, I have never checked. Great TT! It made me smile after a very difficult couple of days.
cajunvegan’s last blog post..Effective Immediately (TT 31)
January 31st, 2008 at 8:01 pm
OMG…those are really bizzare keywords! I get a lot of ‘Victoria’s Secret Ooh La La’ these days, but that’s because it’s their upcoming perfume…and I actually wrote about it. Nonetheless, thank you for sharing all those searches with us. I was cracking up in front of my computer…at work (ahem). LOL. Take care!
Linda’s last blog post..Avril Lavigne Files Patent to Launch Her Own Perfume
January 31st, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Hmmmm…..haven’t ever done this. Wonder what i’ll find??
have a good weekend!
January 31st, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Thanks for the info about feedburner! I didn’t have that stuff set up yet! DUH!
Adrienne’s last blog post..Cornucopia of January Stuff
January 31st, 2008 at 10:10 pm
I love random search terms. I haven’t gotten any interesting ones (yet) but my boy and I laughed a whole lot the day we discovered someone found his blog by searching “Ways to inflate your butt”
???
Annie’s last blog post..1/31/07- Thursday 13
January 31st, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Panty wearing men, you’re kidding me! Well, here it is again…oops.
That was hilarious!
Karen MEG’s last blog post..I’m one of THOSE Moms, but you still love me, no?
January 31st, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Alright, everything I’ve learned about blogging has been self taught and by following other blogs. I don’t know what thies feedburner thing is but I gotta try that out. I can only imagine what mine would trigger. Lovin your search engines.
Thanks so much for the Rockin Award!!! I’ll post it soon!
YOU ROCK!!!
grandy’s last blog post..Rewind in Time
January 31st, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Lol, wow. That is all I have to say! But funny none-the-less!
Are people really googling panty wearing men?!
February 1st, 2008 at 12:00 am
No kidding. FOr some reason “jennyonthespot” get’s a lot of “p” to the “o” to the “r” to the “n” inquiries. I didn’t realize how naughty I could be. It’s wild to see what people search for!
jennyonthespot’s last blog post..Just Say “No!” to Dressing Rooms
February 1st, 2008 at 12:02 am
That is the best laugh I have had in a long time.
Truly an amazing list, but I sure don’t get how those searches found your blog . . .
Joyce’s last blog post..Children’s Chores – Thursday Thirteen, Edition VIII
February 1st, 2008 at 2:34 am
ooo, I love E for Excellence, though Erotic would have been nice too, except there’s nothing erotic about mine
…
LB’s last blog post..PowerPuff Luff Huff Hugs
February 1st, 2008 at 7:59 am
Isn’t that awesome! Heheheh. Reallt far fetched keywords!
BTW, I have a little bling for you at VERB
zamejias’s last blog post..Thankful Thursday
February 1st, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Since I’ve moved my blog to WordPress, my Sitemeter doesn’t give me cool stats like that and the WP stat sorta sucks. But I am finding that I’m getting more political hits now, than at my old blog. I did a post about pet’s name and I get hits like:
cute pet names for your new boyfriend
pet names for your new mother-in-law
sexy pet names for your mistress
pet names for people on blogs
I also get a lot of gay porn hits…it’s my name.
I’ve posted two entries on this subject and the thing that kills me is that talking about it makes those hits go up. So guess what your new hits will be?
fabooj’s last blog post..Lost Season 4 opener
February 1st, 2008 at 10:19 pm
I’m hungry now
Thanks for the bling
Dawn’s last blog post..Haiku Confessional
February 1st, 2008 at 11:09 pm
I love reading everyone’s search terms! I’m working on my own list, and hopefully I’ll have enough to post mine someday!
Congrats on your awards!
Blog Hoppin’! Happy Friday!
“Margarita Mom”
February 2nd, 2008 at 12:37 am