Soul food
She once told me, “If you eat every grain of rice, you’ll grow up to be beautiful.”
Though the translation from Chinese to English may not shine through as clearly, my grandmother meant well. Her roots were enriched in the far-off village plains of China, where food was not always plenty, and starvation was never far fetched. Not to mention, I was an especially lanky child, always reluctant to touch the meat on my plate. So I always stood out. Not only because I was skinny, or the only Chinese girl in my school, but also because I was always the tallest.
So when the ornate, painted rice bowls were handed out before dinner, I always hoped mine would be filled like everyone else’s. A steamy, heaping pile of hope that would someday enrich a girl to fit in just a little better.
Around the table each person had their own style. My mom held her rice bowl up in one hand, while chopsticks scraped and shoveled with the other. My brother held his chopsticks with perfect form towards the top, with an inch between each stick. Even today, I still hold my chopsticks like a five year old round-eye, seconds away from giving up and just stabbing my food.
But as haphazard as I may appear while eating, I am still efficient. Enough so that while I made my way down to the bottom of a bowl, I often hoped to find single grains of rice clinging to the edges. A challenge if you will for my imperfect form to practice it’s precision.
I always picked up every last grain. Still do. I supposed it’s an irrational hope that never died.
But I love rice. I often wonder if my grandmother’s superstition contributed to my love affair with rice. Even as an adult, I would rather sit down to a plain bowl of rice than have a thick, juicy steak. Nothing in the kitchen reminds me more of home, or comforts my body and soul than the smell of steaming rice, or the sound of grains tinkering into a steel pot.
I love it, and perhaps even the irrational hope it carries.
So you can imagine how much it warmed my heart to see this recent tiny grain of rice growing inside of me.
(Taken yesterday to rule out multiples due to conceiving with Clomid.)
Oh CONGRATS! It’s so precious, that little grain of rice! I’m so excited for you!
August 6th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Hooray!
August 6th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
What a cte sunflower! Seed that is…
August 6th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Yay! Congrats! Seems like everyone is expecting..which is good! I am happy for you and yours!
August 6th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Oh, Sandy!! What an amazing ending to a beautiful story. And I think your grandmother was wrong. I think you’d have been beautiful if you’d NEVER eaten any rice at all.
August 6th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
Awe, Sandy, what an amazing feeling. For what it’s worth, there’s nothing that comforts me like a bowl of rice, either. And I didn’t even have your grandmother…
August 6th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
So glad that little grain of rice is doing well! And, man, you are such a beautiful person—you could make anyone finish every last grain!
August 6th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
I bet that was the best little grain of rice you’ve ever seen!
August 6th, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Hooray! Pictures and visual confirmation–whoo-hoo! I agree with Emily who said, ” I bet that was the best little grain of rice you’ve ever seen.”
August 6th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Oh, and btw, how are you feeling?
August 6th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Oh I love ultrasound pictures!! And rice! Sometimes that was all I would eat for dinner. I hadn’t heard that it would make me beautiful, I was just picky!
August 6th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
congrats on your grain of rice!! and glad you only have one!
August 6th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Oh it made me cry!! What a beautiful little peanut!!! So reassuring to see!! Congratulations, beautiful!!
August 6th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
LOVE IT! loved seeing that first sono with the little heart beating so fast…we are also completely rice-happy in this house as well. We always, always have a 25lb bag in the pantry…
August 6th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
@Heather- Thank you
@Rebecca-
@Hockeyman- ha
@Ryanne- I feel like there is quite a bit of people expecting now, too. Thanks so much!
@Anissa- You are too kind
thank you.
@ Jen of a2eatwrite- Isn’t it amazing. Something about it…
@Fairly odd mother- It was a relief for sure seeing the tiny blip on the screen. You are so sweet.
@Emily- It was a beautiful sight
@Joyce-Anne- I was SO RELIEVED there was one little sac in there. Strangely enough, *knock on wood* I’m still feeling good!
@Lauren- I’m the same way. Sometimes, it’s really all I want. It’s nice and simple.
@Sarah- Aw, I nearly cried when I saw it, too
@Chronicles of Momnia- The first sono is unbelievable. So much anticipation and fear! LOL, 25 lbs is a must
August 6th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
Look at that beautiful little rice!!! YAY!!!! I am so excited for you!
Lovely post.
August 6th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
I love the way you weave old memories into your current life. What a beautiful thought, rice, life, hope.
August 6th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Sweetest rice!
August 6th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
GOOSEBUMPS….CHILLS…..CHICKEN SKIN!!! Whatever you want to call it I got them when I read your post!!!! Congratulations! I have a lot of catching up to do on your blog…….what WONDERFUL NEWS!!! I am so happy for you!
As for the rice – I totally agree. I just bought a kick-a$$ rice cooker. It is the BOMB. When I was growing up my mom told us that for every grain of rice we left in our bowl we would get a zit. lol Don’t know if that’s a Japanese thing or something my mom came up with! So do you have flawless skin?
August 6th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Oh Sandy! What a perfect little grain! I feel so happy for you!
August 6th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Awww…spoken like a true Chinese girl. I love rice too!!!
Very excited about the pic…so happy for you.
August 6th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Well, you must have been a good little girl and eaten every bit of your rice – and everyone else’s too, because you ARE a beautiful woman.
And that little grain is perfect. Just perfect.
August 6th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
Isn’t that the most beautiful picture????
August 6th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
The rice? It worked. 10 fold.
You’re beautiful. That little grain of rice is beautiful. And now I’m crying.
xo
August 6th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Beautiful post and your growing grain of rice is precious, congrats!
August 7th, 2009 at 12:01 am
You know you are bringing tears to my eyes a lot lately, right?
Congratulations on the confirmation! Now STOP TAKING PREGNANCY TESTS.
That story was lovely, as are you. The rice worked inside and out.
August 7th, 2009 at 12:30 am
So awesome. I had an early ultrasound with Adam and he was also the size of a grain of rice. It was magical! Hope you are feeling well.
August 7th, 2009 at 12:57 am
Oh and the rice? I always hated it because my parents never let me put soy sauce on it. And they always let me eat with a fork, even though I was perfectly capable of using chopsticks
. I guess in some ways they let me off from being Chinese and some ways they didn’t. Nowadays I love rice especially since I can put as much soy sauce and hot sauce on it as I like. And Adam only like white rice with soy sauce, none of the fried rice stuff.
August 7th, 2009 at 1:01 am
YAY! I’m so so pleased.
August 7th, 2009 at 1:33 am
yay!! preggers details from you make me want to dance.
August 7th, 2009 at 2:09 am
It’s so amazing how they start so small, and become so precious over time. Congratulations! It is so confirmed now, and truly God answers prayers!
August 7th, 2009 at 2:40 am
You my friend, have such an amazing way with words…what a wonderful connection! Congratulations again!
August 7th, 2009 at 3:07 am
My grandpa also taught me to eat every grain of rice, and until now I always wipe my plate clean with every meal. I guess with us Asian we really can’t do away with rice.
I look at you and I can see you have been a good girl that’s why you are so beautiful. And you will bring to this world another beautiful being. I’m happy for you Sandy.
August 7th, 2009 at 4:57 am
Yay! Now you can be sure that this is all real! Fantastic!
August 7th, 2009 at 7:19 am
Yeah! I’m also using Clomid, we’ll find out in a couple of weeks if it worked. I think it will because I became pregnant the other two times I took it.
August 7th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Never thought a blob could be quite so exciting, did you?
August 7th, 2009 at 8:58 am
YIPPEE!!! I think your little grain is blessed to have you as a mother!
August 7th, 2009 at 9:02 am
I was told that tale about rice too…I think you ate your rice a bit better than I did growing up, just sayin’ (you’re an absolute knockout, Sandy, even more so in person…)
And that is the most beautiful picture of a grain; that was the first thing on our minds when we went for an u/s for the boy as well…’How many?’
.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:14 am
What a beautiful photo for today!
August 7th, 2009 at 9:29 am
I always felt like I could breathe just a bit easier after that first u/s! What a welcomed site! So happy for you!!
August 7th, 2009 at 9:59 am
beautiful indeed!
August 7th, 2009 at 10:25 am
@charlene-Thank you! Me too
@Kat, Kim and Lisa Rae- Thanks so much
@Sharon- It’s so great to see you! I’ve missed you. I’ll have to hop over to your place to see how you’re doing. You’ll have to tell which rice cooker you chose. Thanks so much!
@Angela- Thank you
@Mama in Suburbia- haha
Thanks!
@lceel- You are too sweet, Lou. It was pretty awesome to see the little grain
@Alicia- It was the prettiest picture I’ve seen in a long time.
@Miss- You must have had some serious rice consumption, too
Thank you 
@Carrie Keiser- Thank you Carrie!
@natalie- Aw, it’s probably because I’ve been in tears quite a bit lately, too. You are too kind to join me
LOL, I know. I’ve stopped all pregnancy tests. This was exactly what I needed. Thank you so much 
@Angela at mommy bytes- Aw, he was a little rice grain, too? so cute! That is good you were able to use the chopsticks anyway. That is too funny that you use soy sauce and hot sauce liberally now
I’m like Adam, I prefer rice with soy sauce than to the fried stuff.
@Veronica- Thank you. Me too!
@Jameil- haha, I had a very similar reaction.
@ceemee- It really is a miracle in so many ways.
@Cecily R- Thank you so much Cecily. That means so much.
@Katcarneo- That is too funny your grandpa told you to do the same!
Thank you so much. You are so sweet. I can see you must have had all of your rice as well.
@Melissa- Yes, it definitely made things a bit more real for sure.
@Amy- Wow! I will be crossing my fingers for you! I hope you’re not feeling too many of their side effects. I had a few that were not so fun. Hope the Clomid brings you all the same luck again!
@The Mother- It was pretty awesome
@wright- Aw, thank you so much!
@Karen MEG- Stop it. You are gorgeous my friend! That’s too funny your family told you the same rice tale
And YES, “how many?” was certainly asked about 10 times on my part 
@Amy @ the Q family- Thank you so much Amy.
@abunslife- You are so right. I felt the same way. Being able to see the little being and a flicker of a heartbeat allowed us to breathe a little sigh of relief
@the planet of janet- Thank you
August 7th, 2009 at 10:38 am
How joyous! A beautiful little grain indeed! Filled with all it needs to become a happy healthy little one! I loved this post. It made me warm and fuzzy.
August 7th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Amazing!! This little picture made me tear up a bit. I am so happy for you!! What fun to follow this journey with you. “Rice” has never looked so beautiful!
August 7th, 2009 at 11:03 am
That’s a beautiful story, Sandy.
!
And such a heartwarming picture at the end
August 7th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Sandy,
Your posts always touch me in one way or another. Tears are in my eyes and I can totally relate to the rice story. Your memories are very much the same as mine. As a matter of fact, when I unexspectedly ended up in the hospital with pneumonia last year, my very white bread hubby made it a priority to bring me, as he said, “Asian comfort food.” May your little grain grow and flourish!
August 7th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
congratulations, Here’s my photo story. happy Friday!
August 7th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
I’m so excited for you and your little grain of rice. So exciting! I love rice too, but you have such wonderful memories. Your writing always amazes me.
August 7th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
What an exciting time for you! Congrats on your little grain of rice.
August 7th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Best rice EVAH! Enjoy
Have you tried that pre-cooked, brown rice in little cups that you microwave for one minute? It is seriously to die for===yum!
August 7th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
We always called them sweet peas… I like “grain of rice”!
So glad you finally got to see a picture so that you can now go back to peeing only in the toilet like a normal human being.
August 7th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!
August 7th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Congratulations on your new little grain of rice!!
And my style is to wear a bib while using chopsticks.
August 7th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Yay! Oh my gosh the relief when you see that little heartbeat huh? So happy for you! (and happy that it’s not multiples since that would be not good, right?) How far along are you now?
August 7th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
The most perfect and beautiful grain of rice EVER! I am so happy for you and your family.
And now I want to eat some rice.
August 7th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Con-gra-tu-la-tions!
August 7th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
@sheila- I hope so
Thank you.
@Kelly- I know. I had a similar reaction when I first saw it too
Thank you.
@Nicole- Thanks so much Nicole!
@Prontip- Aw, you are so sweet. That makes me tear up a bit just you saying so. And that is so sweet your hubby just knew what to bring you.
@Lisa @ boondock ramblings- It always amazes me how certain foods can trigger memories for people. I guess it plays such a huge role in family life. Thanks so much!
@Asianmommy- Thanks so much.
@Mrs4444- I’ll have to look into it. Only in recent years have I included brown rice into my diet. It’s definitely good to have sometimes.
@Rachel @ Grasping for Objectivity in my Subjective Life- Haha.. That’s so true though. As I got further along with my daughter, her ultrasound pics did resemble peas…and then lima beans!
@Waling in my sleep-
@nancy@ifevolutionworks.com- Thanks so much. LOL!
@Skiplovey- I SO thought of you right after we did the ultrasound and saw the heartbeat. Especially after reading your post. I think my husband and I nearly fell over when we saw the little flickers. So glad it was the same for you, too.
I’m estimated at about 7 weeks.
@Holly at Tropic of Mom- thank you so much Holly!
@Puna- Thanks so much!
August 7th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
And what a WONDERFUL grain of rice!!!!!!!! Didn’t realize you were on Clomid…but I’m glad it’s just one grain
(as a nurse I bet you are glad too!)
August 7th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Oh congratulations! And what a clever blog post, baby announcement.
August 8th, 2009 at 12:13 am
Beautiful!
When I was pregnant, the smell of rice cooking in the rice cooker made me sick. It’s not something normally considered to smell… go figure! glad you can still enjoy rice while pregnant!
August 8th, 2009 at 1:46 am
Rice is very Asian. Imagine how 1 grain of rice can nourish our souls.
I’ve been nourished with 3 precious grains.
Take Care Sandy =)
August 8th, 2009 at 7:06 am
Aaaawww. Hugs. xxx
You have no idea what goes through me when I see that picture. I KNOW how you’ve struggled.
August 8th, 2009 at 8:47 am
What a beautiful story. That is the most precious grain of them all.
August 8th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
How precious!!! You must have been so excited to see that little one.
August 8th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
You do realize that it will take more than 20 minutes for it to double in size, right? You, on the other hand, will be feeling like a happy cow shortly.
Happy pushing!!
August 8th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
I’m a big fan of rice too!
And that grain there…so so precious…so so beautiful!
August 8th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
So excited.. sooo excited.. love sono pictures..
August 9th, 2009 at 9:13 am
A perfect little peanut and future rice nut.
I love rice too, so comforting and tasty.
August 9th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
So, how far along are you??
August 9th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
I’m truly excited for you…
Stay healthy and lovely!
August 10th, 2009 at 1:46 am
It worked — you are beautiful. And I’m sure the little grain of rice will be too. Haven’t heard much about Baisodes lately.
August 10th, 2009 at 10:53 am
YEEEEEAAAAAHHH! That is the most beautiful grain of rice I have ever seen. For the record, “like a five year old round eye” made me giggle like a fiend this morning!
August 10th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Congrats to you. What a sweet story and a perfect way to share the news!
August 10th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Congratulations! May your tiny grain of “rice” grow and be healthy and bring you many years of joy.
August 10th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU! TRULY!
Here’s to 9 months of bliss and a healthy pregnancy!!
August 10th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
what a sweet post !
August 10th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
If I don’t tell you often enough, I want to tell you that I think you are such a gifted writer. You write about one topic so movingly and eloquently and then at the end … a little twist. Love it. Love your little grain of rice.
August 10th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
i never heard of it though.. but since u love rice, i guess its true coz i think u r beautiful… and with a lil one in the oven, everything is so blessed and alright. enjoy this special moment!
August 10th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
This is fantastic! I’m so excited for your pregnancy and to see the little grain growing inside of you. I’m also excited that someone else has the same love of rice that I do. Hubby thinks I’m rather weird but I can eat rice by itself and be happy. I even give my one year old rice just by itself and he’s just as happy. Oh how good it feels to know there is someone else like me when it comes to rice.
August 11th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
This post made me smile and think of my three little grains of rice. I’m so very excited for you, hon!
August 11th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
I love the way you tell a story. Love. It. You are talented and completely awesome. Yay for rice! So very excited for you!
August 11th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Wooohoooo!!! I go away for 2 weeks, and there are so many new preggies around!! Congrats
August 16th, 2009 at 12:41 pm