Soy Sauce Will Make You Yellow
Thanksgiving has never been one of my favorite holidays. When I look back on how we spent it every year as a family, I can certainly see why.
In case you don’t already know, I’m Chinese. Growing up in South Florida, many of my friends often referred to me as a “banana”- yellow on the outside, but white on the inside. Upon meeting me, it’s obvious I’m Asian. However, my Cantonese is lousy and I have an unhealthy relationship with pizza and hot wings. Despite my very Chinese parents, I’m guessing this has to do with me being born and raised in the U.S.
Every Thanksgiving when my friends and neighbors scattered off to their dining tables, most had signature pies, green bean casseroles, sweet candied yams, and of course, a traditional golden, brown turkey from the oven. Friends and family would all sit around a table, laughing and boasting about how creamy the mashed potatoes were.
My Thanksgiving pasts?
Heaping bowls of rice, fungus resembling hair with mushrooms, clear noodles, and of course a traditional chicken. Boiled, sliced, with it’s head staring back at me from the platter. Oh, and soy sauce, plenty of soy sauce for dipping. My family that hovered around a folding table in the middle of a living room comprised of at least a dozen elderly relatives. My mom, brother and I were the only ones under the age of 60 (my father worked Thanksgiving Day).
Sitting in a living room crammed full of older Chinese folks yammering in Cantonese wasn’t exactly fun for a little girl. Not that the food wasn’t delicious. I just didn’t have much to do. I’d sit and watch everyone scoop rice and try my best to answer if anyone spoke to me in Cantonese. Among the clamoring of chopsticks and conversation, I often broke free to sit on their matted, green shag rug to watch a football game on the wooden console TV. My mind would wander off, wondering how sweet yams tasted with a touch of brown sugar and tiny marshmallows on top. Or what was a “casserole” exactly? And did people actually cook stuffing inside of a turkey?
I never knew these things.
When I moved out of Florida, I left to become a traveling nurse. Deep within my 3 suitcases, I had a pair of chopsticks and a single noodle bowl I moved with every 12 weeks. I’m not sure why I packed them, but I did. Perhaps it was the solitude of being alone, or the lack of decent Chinese food in town. But over time, I found myself yearning for the smells, flavors, and linguistic chaos of those holiday gatherings. I began collecting soy sauce packets from my take-out orders. I’d cook myself a pot of rice, turn over the lid to watch the steam rise, and drizzle soy sauce over the puffed grains to catch the smell of it sizzling along the bottom of the pan.
In recent years, Dadisodes and I have had our own traditional Thanksgiving meals. We’ve spent hours thawing and cooking a turkey. I’ve slaved over piecrusts, fillings, and every type of potato.
We’ve rocked the gobble gobble.
Oddly enough, I have never been able to shake the feeling that something is missing.
Of all the family who sat around that folding table 20+ years ago, only a few people remain. Most of them have passed. And sadly, I never had a chance to really communicate with them well. Nevertheless, the memories of their chopsticks insisting food onto my plate, the shuffling Mahjong pieces, and all of their warm smiles will stay with me forever.
It is these memories that surface every year on this holiday, moments that have shaped my own meaning of Thanksgiving. Recollections that continue to strengthen my roots.
I can only hope to provide Babisodes with her own memories of Thanksgiving. Maybe she can be my little “egg,” white on the outside, and a little yellow on the inside.
Perhaps starting this year, with some turkey, stuffing, and maybe a little rice and soy sauce on the side.
We NEVER had Thanksgiving at my sister-in-laws house without fried rice. Never.
and is that really your soy sauce? SO small!! We get the HUGE ones at Costco and even then go through them very quickly!
November 25th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
CC- LOL! Speak of fried rice, I just had some for lunch
Yea, we have a little soy sauce. Our cabinets are a bit small. I had no idea they sold it at Costco! Sucks we’re not members. 
November 25th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I so love this post. You just don’t know. This speaks to so many things for me. Just fabulous, Sandy.
And you really might like the book Stealing Buddha’s Dinner – it’s about Vietnamese girls growing up, not Chinese girls, but it explores so many of these themes and it’s beautifully, gorgeously written. It’s by Bich Minh Nguyen. I’m sure any public library would have it, either on the shelves or via interlibrary loan.
Jen of a2eatwrite’s last blog post..What’s Cooking Wednesday: Easiest (and BEST) Chicken-Noodle-Whatever Soup
November 25th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Oh yes, just make a mix of traditional Thanksgiving food and some traditional Chinese food?
Sounds like fun and a fine Tribute to me.
And yes, Nostalgica…..don’t get me going on taht *sigh*
Nicole’s last blog post..Surprises
November 25th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
This is a delicious post, Sandy. I also think it’s awesome that you have such memories and that you’ll keep some of it alive for Babisodes. Oh, and I would *so* eat Thanksgiving dinner at your house, then, now or whenever.
Maggie’s Mind’s last blog post..Dear Me, Love Me
November 25th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
What a lovely idea, turkey with some rice and soy sauce on the side.
I think that would be perfect for you and your loved ones!
Happy Thanksgiving Sandy!
Jientje’s last blog post..Ruby Tuesday, Coeur de Boeuf Tomato
November 25th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
I actually have a bit of a lump in my throat after reading this post. What wonderful memories — and yes please have rice and soy sauce with your turkey and dressing (what my family has always called the stuffing).
You are a beautiful *banana* and babisodes needs to be an *egg*. Those are terms you should cherish — terms I think America is all about accepting others and blending together.
Have I told you how much I’ve enjoyed meeting you, Sandy? If not, please know you are very special to me. You have enriched my life so very much — And that makes me very thankful.
Patsy’s last blog post..Day 25 Hands Can Do So Many Things
November 25th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
I love the idea of mixing the two heritages for a holiday meal. I think Babisodes will have a wonderful and enriched life with all you’ve given her. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
November 25th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
What a beautiful post Sandy! I had to Stumble it.
Miss’s last blog post..Vlogging is the new black
November 25th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
i totally approve of mixing your traditions! it’s a wonderful gift to your daughter.
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Birthday dinner: more fun than a barrel of monkeys
November 25th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Now I’m musing about creating a holiday genre for cooking mavens: Thanksgiving/Chinese fusion. I wonder if the soy chicken approach would work well with Turkey? How about a pork fried rice turkey stuffing? Stir-fried yams and ginger? Egg&potato Foo Young? Char sui bao dinner rolls? What do they serve for Thanksgiving diners at Blue Ginger? Come to think of it, I’d be Ming Tsai has already mastered this cuisine.
Whatever your emerging traditions, I hope your Thanksgiving is special.
Daniel’s last blog post..Next Spring’s Home Kitchen Garden
November 25th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Jen of a2eatwrite- Thank you Jen. You are so sweet. I always think of you when I write about food. I’m definitely reserving that book at my library. Heading to their online system now!
Nicole- Thank you. I’m sure the nostalgia is incredibly rough for you.
Maggie’s Mind- I was drooling just thinking of the food while writing it. We’d love to have you over! Anytime.
Jientje- Thank you J!
Patsy- I was also a bit misty eyed while writing the post. I am also grateful for meeting you in blogosphere as well. You are always someone who makes me smile. Thank you.
Joyce-Anne and
the Planet of Janet- Thank you. I hope she she will have great memories.
Miss- Wow! Thank you Miss! That means so much.
November 25th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Daniel- Those are brilliant! I believe I’d eat all of those. And the bao as dinner rolls? LOVE IT! I may be all over that this year
November 25th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
The thought of a multicultural Christmas sounds great! I wish I was having one. Sadly, the closest I’ll get to multicultural this Christmas is adding some sherry to the trifle.
Solomon’s last blog post..The December ‘08 Contest
November 25th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
What beautiful memories
and such a wonderful post for Thanksgiving.
Kmommy’s last blog post..Frankenberry Pie
November 25th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
How very cool.
Our family has always had a good portion of American tradition in Thanksgiving with turkey and stuffing, but I think what made it special were the things that I grew to know only my mother made for that day.
I bet your daughter will grow to love the family traditions she grew up with, the traditions you created for your own family. For some reason I love knowing that within our country there are a million derivations of this traditional holiday, and I hope they continue to diversify as time marches on.
Clayjack’s last blog post..Jack Clay, Dr. Greg House and S&M
November 25th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
I`m part asian and hispanic and I could eat rice for breakfast lunch and diner. Our “festive” days always included rice and whatever other animal was on the chopping block that morning. It`s amazing to be how we seem to loose bits of our culture when we marry into another. I miss salsa dancing, cooking meals big enough for a small battalion, loud family members and the warm familiarity of my native tongue-Which I can say with much shame I am forgetting.
November 25th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
OMG, I’m so hungry now!
November 25th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
I am so glad you stopped by yesterday.
I already love you. Because you are a NICU nurse and I LOVE NICU nurses, and because you wrote this, and I absolutely LOVED it. LOVED it.
I’ll definitely be back.
Happy Thanksgiving!
angie’s last blog post..MISSION: Monday
November 25th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Your description…”a traditional chicken. Boiled, sliced, with it’s head staring back at me from the platter…” reminded me of the scene from A Christmas Story when they all end up going out for dinner because the neighbor’s dogs ate their turkey.
This was a lovely post. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
November 25th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Beautiful post. We had turkey but with hoisin sauce. And I was always with other kids of my generation who had no respect for Chinese traditions. I miss the hoisin sauce for sure, maybe I’ll bring some to my mother-in-laws.
Angela at mommy bytes’s last blog post..Tuesday Toot – Adam’s awesome penalty kick
November 25th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Hahaha!! I’m Filipino, but born and raised in California. So, I know what you’re talking about! My children are half Latin, but they are true blue Filipino/Asian eaters! We have to have rice everyday! Breakast, lunch, dinner! They would choose that over anything else any day!! So, I hear ya on the soy sauce! However, I like Silver Swan. It’s not as strong and salty as Kikoman!!
Have a blessed Thanksgiving! That was a great post!!
Alicia’s last blog post..I’M GETTIN’ READY!!
November 25th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
I’m Chinese, too. When I was growing up, my mom made turkey for Thanksgiving, but instead of stuffing, my mom always made sticky rice–my all-time favorite! This year, I’ll be making the turkey, and she’ll be bringing the sticky rice. Yay!
Asianmommy’s last blog post..Turkey Cupcakes
November 25th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Lovely post…but, I can’t get past the staring chicken part. Eww.
Babisodes is luck to have you!
Happy (early) Thanksgiving!
November 25th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
What a beautiful post…and hey, you’re not the only one who brings with her a pair of chopsticks every she travels…I do! God knows why…yet, I still do! LOL
Happy Thanksgiving to you!
P.S. Though we don’t celebrate it here they way you guys do, trust me, we do have something similar to it more than once a year!
Mariposa’s last blog post..
November 25th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Chinese? You’re Chinese? You’re kidding!! Who knew?
lceel’s last blog post..Sex Change Monday
November 25th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
I think as an adult you always reflect back to childhood and see who you were then wasn’t who you wanted to be and once you grew up to be that person you crave the old times.
I would love some fried rice for Thanksgiving…
My brain is fried as I am rambling..
Dejoni’s last blog post..Mental Clarity and the True Meaning of Life
November 25th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
The banana and her egg. Aww. That is so sweet.
Beautiful post!
Kat’s last blog post..WW- Follow Me
November 25th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
What a lovely memory. I remember past holidays with my grandparents, different foods, different ways to celebrate, good times!
Tara R.’s last blog post..End the Clutter Office ~ 4.2
November 25th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Very cute post. Nice to see that you combined traditions of your family with some new traditions of your own. I think thanksgiving food is a little overrated to be honest but i was raised as a vegetarian.
Tim’s last blog post..Monopoly’s Mr. Moneybags falls on hard times
November 25th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Nothing wrong with putting your spin on things even if it includes soy sauce!
Talina’s last blog post..Yay Amigo!
November 25th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Absolutely…take the best of both worlds. One of my family traditions was to always, always have Chinese food on New Years Eve. I see nothing wrong with having it on Thanksgiving either. My family would love it. They get tired of having Turkey every holiday.
Christine’s last blog post..What Fun!
November 25th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Funny, my daughter is from Taiwan and my concern is that we won’t carry on her heritage over the holidays. I guess Thanksgiving is one thing because it’s American… but I definitely want to serve food and celebrate holidays that would honor her birthplace.
Beautiful post.
Jackie — momlogic community leader community.momlogic.com
and taiwan-on.com
Jackie’s last blog post..Today’s Thanks…
November 25th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
I loved this post!
We’ve never really had a “traditional” Thanksgiving. With my parents, my dad preferred to grill out. With Hubby, he spent a lot of years working at Boston Market and hates Turkey with a passion. So we always celebrate, but with non-traditional meals. And it’s never been a big “to do” nothing more than just immediate family.
Jacque’s last blog post..Homesick for the Hills
November 25th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
What a great recollection!! So descriptive, I felt like I was right there!
Have a Happy Thanksgiving and how great for babisodes to experience a mixture of traditions!
Laura@StorytellinMama’s last blog post..Behind the Scenes at the Zoo…
November 25th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
I love this post.
Evie is a little banana, too. She looks so much like Chris! But since he was adopted, we don’t really have any Korean traditions to teach her. It makes me sad.
November 25th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
I must admit that I am not into the food – Thanksgiving for me is a happy day surrounded by family or friends stuffing your face with whatever food is available. I recall one year — my first year in college with my younger Sis – we opted NOT to travel to Nebraska with my parent’s for the traditional feast and instead found string cheese, crackers and chocolate milk at the local PDQ (the only place open at 4pm on Thanksgiving Day).
It is what it is
Michelle’s last blog post..Comment on Affordable Premium Denim by Elaine B.
November 25th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Little tears in these eyes for this beautiful vignette of your loving family and the memories of those passed on. So nicely written, Mom. This should find its way into a Thanksgiving issue magazine next year.
Jannie’s last blog post..Why do you blog?
November 25th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
OMG! You’re Chinese??? Just kidding! Great post (as always). Isnt it interesting how when we are in the middle of it, family traditions seem to be a pain…but when we are grown and gone, we realize just how much it all meant. I love soy sauce by the way…guess I’m yella!
Christie-A Work In Progress’s last blog post..This Week on The ChatterBox Show: The Broke Socialite
November 26th, 2008 at 12:27 am
This time of year certainly brings out the traditions in my family. I was just talking about my childhood with my dd as I put her to bed. Everything was so different then. I wish I could share a fraction of what it was like with my own children.
BTW, we have always served rice right along with the dressing. Goes great with gravy.
Alice Audrey’s last blog post..TBR
November 26th, 2008 at 1:35 am
It would be awesome to somewhat merge the two cultures. A little soy sauce, a couple-a yams, some mah jong. It could be perfect!
Colleen – Mommy Always Wins’s last blog post..How to completely trash your house while trying to do something productive
November 26th, 2008 at 2:01 am
that was a lovely post – I call my Malaysian friend a banana too1 so funny
Ni Hao!!!!!! (I lived in Beijing in 2005 – only learned a bit of manarian though – not cantonese)
Tiaras & Tantrums’s last blog post..WordFUL/LESS Wednesday
November 26th, 2008 at 2:34 am
if u r referring to the steamed chicken, i usually have the head removed so it wont stare at us on the dining table. i will usually go with minced/shredded ginger, some sesame oil, soya sauce, and sometimes chopped chilli and mixed together to eat with the chicken. it taste so much better than just soya sauce. perhaps u wanna try that too.
wen’s last blog post..Christmas Sale
November 26th, 2008 at 2:59 am
I don’t think a little soy sauce would hurt anything on Thanksgiving.
Great story.
killlashandra’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Escapee
November 26th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
I love this post Sandy. You are the only Chinese person that I know..really, I don’t think I’ve ever met a Chinese person in real life..I don’t count the people at China Buffet. As far as an Asian community..we have Vietnamese ..that is really it. I’ve NEVER heard the banana.. I’ve heard Oreo.. black on the outside white on the inside..cuz that’s what we called Wanda that I went to high school with..it was the 80’s and acceptable.
I grew up w/ tons of Italian traditions..and as “dumb” as they may seem I understand what you mean about missing them.
I am cooking my first thanksgiving meal.. just me and the hubby…I’m testing myself
mp’s last blog post..Ya Big Sell Out..and another True Mother Story
November 26th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
I love the mixing of traditions with the holidays. Kind of makes them unique. My brother married into an Italian family and so our holidays end up big and loud. Looking forward to it…
November 26th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
You should definitely try to raise little “eggs!” The merging of seperate traditions into new ones of your own is what makes a family. I am of the mind that one can never have too many side dishes, so bring on the rice and soy sauce and please pass the sweet potatoes!
Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
November 26th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Not really.
If I imagine I had stayed in my hometown, married one of the guys from there, had 3 kids, be probably be divorced by now…..
Nah, thanks, I rather have my Life the way it is
Nostalgia goes away quick with those thoughts
Family is a different matter, but can’t be helped either
They are all gone but my Mom and some relatives I don’t care about.
Nothing you can do about that.
Nicole’s last blog post..Dubai Ski Dome at the Mall of the Emirates
November 26th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
What a nice post! I would have guessed you were Hispanic rather than Asian. Both good food traditions.
Sounds like you have a good outlook on it, despite feeling a little something is missing. Make your own tradition.
For me, it’s a bit uncomfortable having our huge potluck Thanksgiving luncheon at work, where almost everyone is from a southern cuisine background and I’m from a northern one. We would NEVER have served cornbread or collard greens at Thanksgiving, and what happened to the peas and the turnips?
Dot’s last blog post..One Heartbreaking Day
November 26th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Making your own traditions is one of the best things about being an adult with your own family. You can take what you liked and find new things too. I think rice and soy sauce sounds great with turkey!
Your post made me think of the summer I spent in Hong Kong when I was 19. I remember the humid nights and the sound of the clinking of Mahjong tiles, one of my favorite memories of that time. Beautiful post.
November 26th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
aww! what a lovely story! too adorable (must say w/french accent to get the point i’m making AND to add to the linguistic chaos). makes me wish i’d gone home for thanksgiving.
jameil’s last blog post.."I Didn’t Know You Liked to Get Wet"
November 27th, 2008 at 12:51 am
Hey, Kikkoman Soy Sauce!
Being a Filipino, soy sauce is an integral part of our cuisine and culture. I read this book called “You know you are Filipino if…….” and then there’s a checklist inside about the behaviour, characteristics, and habits that are so Filipino. One of them was “You have soy sauce rings on your dining table” accompanied by an illustration: the top of a table with several black rings.The bottom of the soy sauce bottle is traced onto the table cloth when several drops of the black liquid drip along the sides of the bottle and settle underneath. I laughed so hard at that—so Filipino. I guess soy sauce is one of the best things the Chinese have given us.
Happy thanksgiving to you and your family. That’s great that you’ll introduce Babisodes to her Chinese heritage. Chinese food is so yummy.
kat’s last blog post..Teacher Kat in Action
November 27th, 2008 at 3:21 am
and oh, I am reminded of a movie called The Joy Luck CLub. I loved that one.
kat’s last blog post..Teacher Kat in Action
November 27th, 2008 at 3:22 am
What a sweet post. I love the ‘banana’ and ‘egg’ references! So clever.
dysfunctional mom’s last blog post..IYGAKAC & Stuff
November 27th, 2008 at 4:32 am
I love you. And this post.
Kelley’s last blog post..Giving thanks? Meh.
November 27th, 2008 at 6:12 am
great post!
I loved hearing about how your Thanksgiving were growing up. I hope you have the BEST day today and enjoy all those fond memories you have, and make NEW great memories with your own daughter and family!! 
and btw… I LOVE white rice steaming hot with soy sauce all over it!! yum. you have my mouth watering!!
would it be bad to put some soy sauce on the mashed potatoes?? just wondering. 
oxoxoxoox
Jenn’s last blog post..Turkey!!
November 27th, 2008 at 9:18 am
From an older banana to another, this was a WONDERFUL post, Sandy. Gave me goosebumps. You’ve captured a childhood memory so beautifully, one that I can most certainly relate to.
It’s funny, I totally love the Thanksgiving traditions that I’ve experienced with hubby’s family over the years, I just devour turkey and mash because I didn’t have it growing up. But you’re right, that yearning for rice is always there
. It’s wonderful that you’re integrating the traditions; we try, but it does get harder and harder as the kids get older. And my kids just can’t get into soy sauce with rice…hey have you ever mixed it with a little butter too? THAT was my all time fave treat as a kid.
Little egg, what a perfect, perfect description for Babisodes.
Karen MEG’s last blog post..Little Emo
November 27th, 2008 at 10:05 am
Great post. I love reading about your Thanksgivings. It truly is all about family, isn’t it? Have a good one!
Karen’s last blog post..The Nutcracker cometh . . .
November 27th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Maybe if you have the butcher leave the head on so the turkey can look at you while you eat it, that would squelch the ’something’s missing’ feeling.
Weaselmomma’s last blog post..So Much To Be Thankful For
November 30th, 2008 at 7:57 am