The class roared with laughter and Brian soon became a human punching bag.

However, in retrospect, I have to give Brian a little credit.  Sure the prospect of feeling the Earth move in Florida may have been a bit outlandish, but in that moment, he stopped for a second to take it all in, and shared something that intrigued him with conviction.

Something I am aware I do less of these days on this blog.

So although I celebrated another birthday this past weekend, I never posted here.  In fact, my birthday gift to myself was to spend this time away from the virtual world and celebrate in the real one.  To not allow myself to fret over writing a commemorative post about turning twenty *ahem* thirty something, again. Not allowing myself to sign up for NaBloPoMo because I always do.  And to not blog about how old I feel, because I do. Especially comparing this pregnancy with the last one in my twenties.

I have no idea why motherhood has become a trend later in life.  My body feels way too old to be doing this again.

Despite it all, I spent the last few days closing my eyes when possible and taking it all in.  I allowed myself to throw caution to the wind and ignore the suggestions of the food pyramid.  Instead, I spent some time indulging at it’s top.

Savoring these days, these times, with conviction.

Regardless of how ridiculously large my body is growing.

It did not matter.

I happily ate an entire plate of dessert after a heavy 3-course meal, and dipped every last piece of high-caloric goodness into a pot of chocolatey fondue heaven…

…even if it shows.  Big time.

If I stand up, close my eyes and cup my hands over my belly, I think I can hear the baby say, “More Chiz-cake…”

Halfway there at 20 weeks.

Visit 5 Minutes for Mom to see other Wordless Wednesday participants.
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Five years ago I went to a casino. I was invited by two co-workers to a gambling establishment just outside of San Diego.

I figured I would try my luck one more time.

The only other occasion I had to step foot into a casino was on my 24^th birthday. Dadisodes and I just started dating, and we headed to Las Vegas to celebrate. 

It was my first experience with gambling. And although my 4-inch black heels sank deeply into the luscious casino floors at the Venetian, the entire place reminded me of a facility set up for children. Is it me or do casinos remind you of Chuck-e-Cheese or Dave and Busters…with a lot more booze?

Anyhow, I was clearly in over my head. Especially after I withdrew $200 from an ATM and perched myself in front of a group of slot machines.

They were not just any slot machines. These had a $50,000 Mercedes Benz within arms reach begging to be won.  A lit a neon sign above the hood flashed, “Win this Mercedes or $40,000 cash!”

Within five minutes, I had sunk $100 into one slot machine below the car.

I was no idiot. It was time to move on.

Upward and onward I went to the blackjack tables. And just before my legs sat crossed upon a stool, a roar of cheering erupted behind me.

Someone had just hit the jackpot…on my slot machine.  

One of my worst birthday memories is of watching a crew haul that Mercedes down from the tops of the slot machines for someone else.

So when I entered the local casino with co-workers, I was a bit hesitant due to my unfortunate past.

As soon as I arrived, I wanted to pass out. The thick, congested nicotine air was enough to kill the gaudy silk plants in the décor. I had to break apart from my co-workers to seek refuge in a smoke-free area of the casino. It was a hallway, barely wide enough for one 80-pound cocktail waitress to walk up and down with a beverage tray.

But I had no choice. There really was no other place I could go, other than the inside of my car. And of course, in the confines of this claustrophobic space, there were two ratty nickel slot machines. One of which was already occupied by a moo-moo wearing elderly woman with rollers in her hair.

She didn’t smell so I sat beside her. I had another hour to kill and $5 in my pocket, so I lowered my chin into one hand and began dropping silver coins with the other.

Five bets later, my machine lit up.

I mean it lit up while setting off deafening sirens and flashing lights. All I remember seeing on the screen was “Tilt.” And the only thing going on in my mind was, “Score! Maybe I won back my $5 dollars.”

After the commotion died down, a tiny slip of paper slid out from the machine.

“What? That’s it? I get a lousy receipt?”

But as I looked down, the voucher read, “Winner of $540.00!”

I nearly passed out again. This was far better than the five bucks I was expecting.

As I held that meager, thin slip of paper, the world around me froze. The surrounding voices, ringing, and music all muted. I tightened my grip around the fragile evidence of my fortune, and wanted to shield it from the world.

Worst of all, I dreaded the long haul back to the cashier to claim my winnings. What if an employee walked up to inform me this was all a big a mistake? What if my sweaty palms erased the proof on the slip?

What if this was all just a dream? I knew I would not breathe again until I was safely cashed out.

Yesterday morning as I sat on my cold bathroom floor, I revisited those two days of gambling. My head was still spinning from Thursday’s questionable pregnancy test. For two minutes, I sat with my eyes closed, imagining the slot machine wheels spinning and spinning, as I hoped for a set of three. It reminded me of these past months of hoping for a pair of pink lines.

However, this month, part of me felt as if I am just destined for line solidarity on pregnancy tests. So I decided to mix it up.

And this month, took matters into my own hands…

I may not have 2 lines, but I have these two sticks…

And I feel like the luckiest gambler in the world.

Perhaps in 9 months, I’ll start to breath again.

Post title- Saying from William Bolitho

It’s just that…well…um…uh…how should I put this?

He’s a geek.

The really intelligent kind who can whip out all sorts of random information at the drop of a hat, solve a Rubik’s Cube in minutes, or calculate the tip at meals like nobody’s business.

But there is one major downfall to having all of that hard drive space upstairs crammed and busy processing information.

There leaves little room for common sense.

You know, common knowledge for things such as an empty toilet paper roll translating to needing a new roll of toilet paper.

Or, when the trashcan lid can no longer close, that means there is too much garbage in the bag, so it needs to be taken out, and wedging just 5 more pieces of junk mail into it is not going to make it any better.

Or, when it’s your wife’s 30th birthday, don’t get her nothing.  Or better yet, don’t give her a tire pressure gauge to make up for it on Christmas either.

Things like this have been going on for years.   And over time, I’ve just rolled with the punches (minus the tire pressure gauge. I’m taking that one to the grave).  I’ve found that just doing it myself saves me a ton of grief, and if I want something done, I need to be specific.

It’s all about being specific.

As in, “Honey, please take the trash bag out.  Not just outside of the door so the smell isn’t in the kitchen anymore, but all the way to the trashcan outside beside the house. K?”

Anyhow, a few months ago he left for a business trip and I gave him a no-stuffed-animal gift request for our daughter.  Because seriously.   She has enough to donate two, maybe three, stuffed animals to every child in China.

But It didn’t work.  It was my fault.  I forgot to remind him while he was away via phone, and consequently he arrived home with the most hideous stuffed animal.

So last week, when he left for another business trip, I made sure to call him and kindly remind him every.single.day.

And it worked!

Sort of.

He came home with this lovely package for our daughter.

Apparently, I need to revamp the degree of specificity.

No animals, including bugs. Live or stuffed.

Subcategory: No MAGGOTS!

*shudders*

Oh, and he bought me a little sumthin’-sumthin’ this time, too.

Did I mention I gave up chocolate for lent?

*le sigh*

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

< Posted via my new iPod Touch >

*squeeeeaaaal!*

(My birthday gift was purchased pre-Dadisodes layoff. I’m trying to be a little upset about it. Trying.)

After receiving the news of Dadisodes’ lay-off yesterday, my mind and body shut down.  The switch in my head was “on”, but nothing inside was processing.  And although today we are still struggling to find our bearings,  I’m feeling hopeful.  In the past 24-hours I’ve had a chance to rub my eyes and assess the new roads that lay before us with a clearer view.  Among the 30+ people in his company who lost their job, some were living paycheck to paycheck, one couple is just a few weeks from delivering a baby, and several families may have to relocate out of the state.  After envisioning the circumstances that so many others are now faced with, I couldn’t help but feel thankful.  I mean, although the rug was pulled from beneath us yesterday, we have the ability to regain our footing, for now at least.  I mean, we’ve put money aside for rainy days like this.  It just sucks facing the reality that our umbrella may not last long, and that it will take time to get it back.

The challenges our family now faces has increasingly become common for so many around the country.  That is precisely why today means so much.  I am thankful that I had the ability to vote today. I am also hopeful that by the end of the week, I will not only be celebrating  my birthday, but also a new president on their way to mending the lives of Americans.