There are some things in life that I have resolved to never understand.

Things such as Swahili, women who implant eight embryos, and bowl haircuts.

Bowl-cuts should be a form a child abuse, as well as shoving a bunch of embryos up your lady lips when you’re single and unemployed.

Anyhow, the chances of me ever fully understanding any of this in my lifetime is slim to none.

And I’m okay with that.

But then there are some things that may have piqued my interest, but I’m trying to resist.

Things such as cigarettes, turkey bacon, and more recently,… eBay.

I may have dabbled as an eBay-er years ago. However, I was only a buyer. I have never sold anything on eBay. In fact, my sole purpose for creating a PayPal account was to make frivolous purchases while I was without a car or friends during the months away as a traveling nurse.

Clearly, this was before discovering the blogosphere.

Anyway, every now and then my mom mails a package full of stuff from my childhood.  Crap that she would rather be taking up space in my house.

She sends anything from old yearbooks to New Kids on the Block trading cards.  Each time it’s like the UPS man unearths a time capsule at my doorstep.

And last Christmas, she sent my most cherished holiday toys ever.

Rhonda, Randy, and Ramona Reindeer.

They are a family of cheap, stuffed reindeer. They may have been sold at Hallmark stores at some point, but they were just $2.29 with any order at your local Burger King in the 80’s.

A new reindeer from a family of four was released each week in December.

Clearly, my parents were in no mood to have it their way one week because I’m missing Rodney, the daddy reindeer.

Of course, where on Earth could I possibly still find the missing patriarch?

eBay.

I was determined to make this family complete and watched ten different auctions with Rodney reindeer over the course of the last five days.

In my prior eBay experiences, I rarely had the patience for auctions.  I usually just clicked the “Buy It Now” option and payed full price.

But there is no way I was willing to drop $25 on a reindeer this year.

I learned quickly that the final minutes of an auction are key to winning a product.

In one auction, I was outbid by $0.50 cents during the last 40 seconds.

In another, it happened again at 3 seconds.

Who knew these damn reindeer were such a hot commodity?

So I decided to sit on the sidelines and watch a few of these auctions play out.

I price compared.  I studied.  I learned.

Within 24-hours, I had a master plan in place, a foolproof method of guaranteeing a Rodney reindeer in my hand.

I chose the only auction that ended during the season finale of GLEE.

Let’s just say that after twenty-something years, this family of reindeer will finally be complete this Christmas.

For $0.99 (plus shipping).

It was awesome.

I wanted to light myself a cigarette.

But I won’t.

I already feel like I’ve gone too deep into this strange, strange world of eBay.

What do you think I can get for those New Kids on the Block trading cards?