“Mommy, can we go into the ocean now?”

I slowly stand and untie the sarong from my hips and gently toss my hair to shake out the sand.  This sends the little feet beside me dancing, anticipating the splashes to come.

The shock from the chilly sea jolts me back to reality.

I am actually in my living room, sitting in an armchair.  I must have dozed off momentarily while my daughter sleeps on the sofa.

My body sits still as my head continues to swirl.

It wasn’t really a dream.  It happened.

Six months ago in a warmer place, during a more carefree time.

When the only temperature that mattered was the atmosphere outside, and thermometers were rarely placed under a tongue.

Where living is done outdoors, and no age limit applies to getting drunk on the sun.

A time when sunshine fueled the energy of my child.

We are coming up to day 7 of sickness in our house.  My daughter’s fever continues to linger and is taking its sweet time to taper down.    This is the longest she has ever been ill, and I’m sure her hacking cough will persist for weeks.  I am keeping a close eye for any pneumonia-like symptoms.

Her pediatrician says she most likely has H1N1 (her official diagnosis today after dodging our calls all week).

We have been cooped up inside since last week Friday.  In that time, the temperature outside has dipped down and a new batch of leaves blanket our yard.

When we look out the window, the tree in our backyard is just about barren now.

Every leaf fallen, leaving an arbor ghost.

Each one gone, except one.

Well, maybe that one time, or the other.

Whatever.  It is an unusual occurrence.

While I am well aware that parents live busy lives and juggle a multitude of tasks on a daily basis, a parent’s greatest responsibility is the well being of their child(ren).  Or it should be, right?

Recently for us, our greatest concern has been the cold/flu season.  Our efforts for staying healthy have reached far beyond vigilant hand washing, Purell, and cautiously avoiding sick individuals.  In fact, aside from going to preschool, or to the grocery store once a week (without Babisodes), we pretty much stay home.  Even on the weekends. Not only to avoid illness, but also to avoid spending a bunch of money by going out.

But as diligent as we are as parents, I know there is only so much we can do.  Other factors are completely out of our hands.

Factors similar to when we decide to sit behind the wheel.  As much as we trust our driving skills, and follow the rules of the road, there will always be some fool out there too busy LOL-ing or ROTFL-ing to calculate the distance between their front fender and your rear-end. WTF, right?

Apparently, a similar risk applies when dropping a child off at preschool.

Last week it was my turn to volunteer in my daughter’s preschool classroom for the day.  It was a great opportunity for me to get a glimpse at Babisodes interacting with her friends and teachers. However, while doing so, it was quite apparent that a few children should not have been sent to school that day.  As a nurse, I know that a cough can last for weeks. And children are able to run and play with a lingering cough just fine without it being a risk to themselves or others.

However, if your child can barely stand up or complete a sentence without a glazed look washing over their face, they should STAY HOME.  It doesn’t matter if they don’t have a fever anymore.  They need to rest and recover.

I cannot blame anyone but these kids’ parents.

The preschool day is only 2.5 hours long. Full days do not exist.  Therefore, these parents thought it was more important for their child to wander aimlessly around class like coughing zombies, than to keep them home for a few hours.

Now Babisodes, who had not been anywhere but preschool, has a fever of 104F degrees and is coughing to the point of gagging all day and night.  Not to mention, our pediatrician is not responding to our calls because their staff is fielding over 100 calls a day for patients presenting H1N1 flu symptoms.

Patients like us.  But we will never find out if she actually has H1N1, because we can’t actually speak to the doctor.

Instead, we’re getting call backs from a pediatric nurse who cannot diagnose or dispense anything other than advice I already know.

So to those parents who decided their trip to the grocery store, hair salon, or wherever it was they had to be for a few hours that was so damn important their child had to come to school…

I hope it was worth it.

I will be sure to send you our insanely expensive co-pay and bills if our daughter ends up in the E.R.

Note:  Our preschool sent out a notice last week to keep all sick children home for a full week if they are sick.  Apparently, not everyone got the memo.

I may have been on the fence, but after reading about her son, his son, and her situation, it was the extra push I needed to make my decision.

My Ob/Gyn office received a small shipment of the H1N1 vaccine last week.  Being pregnant, I am on their priority list and was called immediately.

So I went.

As much as I wish we could lock ourselves inside until spring, we cannot.

My husband takes public transportation to work.  My daughter goes to preschool.

And I am obligated to assist in my daughter’s classroom every few weeks, as well as walk in and out of a hospital for check-ups.

There is too much at risk to go unprotected.

The only problem now is finding a way to get everyone else in our house vaccinated.

There is a widespread shortage here.  Clinic lines are hours long, and scores of people end up being turned away.

Turns out the vaccine has become liquid gold.

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Between vaccines and dozens of prenatal blood tests, I’m feeling a bit like a pincushion.

Not that I am afraid of needles.  Not in the least. If fact, needles are the least of my fears these days. What I am most concerned about, I mean honestly losing sleep over, is the upcoming cold and flu season.

Everyone in our home has already received the seasonal flu vaccine. However, no one has been immunized against this year’s H1N1 influenza.

For weeks I’ve been putting it off. Not actually the vaccine itself, but more along the lines of ignoring whether or not to get it in the first place. Reporting on the flu and H1N1 has steeply declined in the media, despite the fact hospitalization rates and deaths attributed to influenza are higher than expected this time of year according to the CDC.  Plus, there is a pervasive belief among my friends and family that a rushed, untested version of the H1N1 vaccine would be detrimental to myself and my baby.

But then this morning during my prenatal check up, my doctor informed me that they just received the H1N1 vaccine and are scheduling appointments for pregnant patients if I was interested.

I’ll admit. I froze. I did not have an answer. It seems I am not alone. A recent study shows that while 40% of people were certain they would get the H1N1 vaccine, 41% would not.  I suppose I was just not ready to make an educated decision at that moment.

So I went home, and researched the vaccine and recent findings involving pregnant women… for hours.

Let me just say, I am officially terrified.

Just this week, of the 19 flu-related pediatric deaths reported in the U.S., 16 were confirmed H1N1 and the other 3 were likely to be H1N1.  And this year, of the 100 pregnant women who were hospitalized with H1N1, 28 have died.

Died.

These are not good odds.

I may never leave my house again. At least not until Spring.

*Are you or your family members getting vaccinated this cold/flu season? Will you get the H1N1 vaccine? PLEASE share in the comments or e-mail me at sandy@momisodes.com.

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