September 2nd, 2005

In this very moment, I was officially a mother. A new one of just 48 hours, but nonetheless, I was a mother to one very small person. Right beside this bassinette were all of my belongings, a pile of instructions on post-partum care and a generous supply of Tucks pads. In just 2-hours I was due to be discharged from the hospital, and a little voice within me cried wanting to stay. Some irrational part of my brain felt that the tiny hospital room and nursing staff would protect me from the world outside. The place right outside of the hospital doors that led to a new world of motherhood. But Ella just lied there so sweet, so innocent, so pure, naïve to the complexities outside of that window. She had yet to feel a breeze whisper in her ear, or a raindrop fall upon her cheek. So much lied before her, before us. I long to step back into this photo for a chance to wrap her tightly in my arms and let time stand still. To just hold my new baby girl and savor the moment one last time before our lives began together.