Focus Sandy. I reluctantly open my eyes and gaze at the clock. And then I allow my heavy lids to fall again.

For with eyes closed, the world is much simpler. More like a still photograph of my life. I scan the picture, corner to corner, as if I’m searching for a familiar face in a crowd or just someone who can offer me reassurance.

Someone. Anyone.  I would listen to a supernatural voice if it could spell out the right decision to make.

In recent weeks, behind this homepage, this post has gone unpublished with only an uploaded image of my 4-year old daughter. I tip toe here while she’s in preschool, or late in the night while she rests peacefully in the dark; certainly when no one is looking.

(more…)