*Bends fingers up and down to direct you*

Want to see what’s outside of my bedroom window?

*Pulls shades open ever so slightly*

Take a gander at my daytime view….

(Photo by Box of Light)

Okay, perhaps this isn’t exactly the view. Our neighbors are not painting their house the color of the sun, and I’m not that creepy to snap random photos of people from my bedroom window. But imagine if you will that shirtless male painter….times three.

…

…

Wait. Uh….what was I saying?

*Shakes head*

Oh yes, the view. So these kind gentlemen are all outside painting our neighbor’s house in the daytime. Throughout the day my daughter and I often go in and out of the house to run errands. The inquisitive and blatantly honest toddler that she is immediately blurts out while climbing into our car 5 feet away,…

“Mommy! Why those man’s nekkid?”

*Dies a little inside*

Me (softly but matter of fact): Silly girl, they’re not naked. They’re just not wearing any shirts.

Babisodes: But why they not wear shirts?

Me (closes door quickly and starts engine): Because it’s hot outside. And when it’s hot, sometimes boys and men, and ONLY boys and men, will take their shirts off.

Babisodes: Okay mommy.

*Sigh of relief*

We continue on with our day of errands. After a few hours of driving around town, I stop at an intersection to allow a few cyclists and joggers to cross the road.

Babisodes: Mommy, why all doz man’s wearing shirts?

Momisodes: What do you mean? People are supposed to wear shirts.

Babisodes: But they man’s. They need to be nekkid.

…

…

*Unclear whether to laugh or cry.*

We are on day #436 of potty training (or at least it seems).

Here is where we currently stand:

1) Training pant use- 2-3 per day

2) Bribes in rotation: Prunes, granola, and outside play

3) Business #2- fully trained since 18 months

4) Business #1- holding pee throughout the night, and periodically in the daytime

Here is the latest progress:

Me: Honey, do you need to go pee-pee?

Babisodes: Noooo!…..

*Deer in the headlights stare*

…..Uh,… YES!!!!

*runs towards bathroom holding crotch*

Me: Okay honey. Hold it while I unbuckle your pants.

Babisodes: Kay mommy, But don’t feel my underwear O-kay???

*looks down at pee filled underwear*

At least she’s saying “Yes” now…