The Phone Call Every Parent Dreads
8:27pm – *cell phone rings*
Hello?
Hi, is this Mrs. Momisodes?
Yes.
Hi. This is _____ _____ from Child Protective Services.
*Gulp. OMG.OMG.OMG.What the heck did I do? Did the cashier at McDonalds rat me out because we showed up twice last week? Did the neighbors complain about me demanding Babisodes to go into time out? OMG.OMG.OMG*
Uh…*voice cracks* Can I help you?
Ma’am. I am calling regarding your daughter….
*OMG. I’m going to jail! JAIL!*
I am conducting an investigation on a facility. Does she attend ______ ______ preschool?
*Oh…S#!T*
Well, she used to attend the preschool. We withdrew her last month. My husband was laid off from his job, and we can no longer afford the tuition.
Was that the only reason why you withdrew her?
Mostly. However, she did begin to dislike attending during her last few weeks. She loved going to preschool for months, but after she changed classes in September, she complained bitterly that the kids were “no fun,” and to be frank, some of the children in her class were not adjusting well and she had little opportunity to socialize.
Did she ever mention anything else? Any incidents?
*Mind races towards EVERY worse case scenario*
No. She had the same teacher during summer and fall. She always raved about her and seemed to work well with my daughter. Why? Is there something that I should be aware about?
Well, there was a claim filed against the facility, which I cannot disclose any details, and you were one of the “randomly selected” parents to be contacted regarding the routine investigation.
*Blink*
If you have any questions or if you can think of anything else, please feel free to call me back at this number.
*click*
At this point, my breathing still had yet to resume. A pink, Motorola cell phone still held to my ear, my jaw lay open. Speechless.
Dadisodes walked into the kitchen and asked who called. I told him everything. Verbatim.
We raced upstairs and asked Babisodes a slew of questions. For sanity’s sake.
“How did you like preschool? What about your teachers? How did they treat you? How were they with the other kids? Did anyone ever touch you? Were they ever mean to you? Not nice? Did anyone ever tell you secrets? Ask you to keep a secret?…”
All of her answers were surprisingly straight forward, and clear. She said that her teachers were always nice to her. They never touched her, yelled at her, or did anything mean.
We felt marginally better after hearing her answers. Marginally. But she is still only three. She thinks she is still able to go back into my belly if she wants to.
And as a parent, this sudden phone call translates into a statement that I can’t ignore. A statement that swirls round and round my sleep-deprived mind all.night.long. Something along the lines of….
“Hi Mrs. Momisodes. I’m calling because an alleged ax murderer/child molester/ stalker/ peeping tom/ drug dealer/ heroin addict/ sex offender/ all of the above and worse was teaching at your daughter’s preschool and could have done something horrible to her while she was there.”
<<Deep cleansing breath>>
We called the preschool first thing in the morning and demanded to speak to the preschool director.
Needless to say, she was not happy to receive our phone call. She did, however, feel the need to stress that they did still have their license, and that all of the staff was still working there. And of course, she was reluctant to provide any further information.
How is that fair?
How do you tell a parent that their child’s preschool has a CPS complaint filed against them, and then leave them in the dark…
….to let their mind’s wander off to all the worst places!?!
So here is where I turn to all of you wise readers. Has something like this ever happened to you? A friend? A loved one? Have you ever had to deal with CPS (Child Protective Services)? Is there anyway I can find out if my daughter was ever in harms way? Is there some way to get around the red tape?
What would you do (short of blogging publicly about it and smearing their name online)?
Let me know in the comments below.
I’ll be here drowning my fears in some 2 for $1 McDonalds apple pies.
Good to know it wasn’t as bad as it sounded when you answered the phone. For the record, those apple pies have gotten me through some tough times, so you’re in good hands.
Ged’s last blog post..Greensboro Apple Store Update
January 27th, 2009 at 1:40 am
Once the investigation is done it will all come out. You may have tipped them off by calling and telling them.
When I was in daycare there was a major issue with the daycare owners being molesters but it didn’t break till years after I was out of their services and I was never harmed by them or inappropriately touched. I guess other kids were though.
It is sad but they will catch the sicko and you can tell CPS to keep you in the loop about the investigation. You do have a right to know. Oh and call the news, they can help you get details on the situation via investigative means and inform other parents.
Talina’s last blog post..I can’t sit idle, I am always working on something…
January 27th, 2009 at 1:47 am
Oh my gosh..I don’t know?? That would totally upset me too!!
Well, I would consider it a blessing in disguise that you had to pull her out.
HUGS,
Alicia
Alicia’s last blog post.."NOT ME!" MONDAY
January 27th, 2009 at 2:30 am
Ouch
Hugs to you is all I can offer.
No kids on this end and none close by
Hope you get some information and a peace of mind!
Nicole’s last blog post..Tales from a summer long lost
January 27th, 2009 at 2:46 am
oh. my. gawd.
i would have freaked.
but the reality is — at this point anyway — she is OUT of there and seems none the worse for it.
you probably can follow up with cps. they may or may not tell you anything. and you may or may not really want to know.
the planet of janet’s last blog post..She loves me, she loves me not …
January 27th, 2009 at 2:55 am
Haven’t been there, but here are 2 cents’ worth:
I’d feel comfortable had my three-year-old (when I had any) given the answers you got from Babisodes… at least that there was no trauma for my kid. And I’d expect to learn (eventually) what accusation had been made and whether it had been substantiated. I’m fairly patient, so I’d ask to be kept informed and then wait it out.
At the same time, it is absolutely bizarre how the huge apparent negative of Dadisodes losing his job led to the only action that could absolutely protect your family from misdeeds at the preschool. Amazing.
I hope whatever claims were made against the school prove false; no one needs that type of garbage in their lives. There’s a special place in Hell for people who get out of line with children.
Daniel (home kitchen garden)’s last blog post..Home Kitchen Garden Chickens
January 27th, 2009 at 2:56 am
Holycrapamoley. Nope, no experience with that. I bet you felt your gut fall out through your girly parts. Or does that not happen to other people? Sorry
Lisa’s last blog post..First Ever "Be Just Like Me for Free" Giveaway!
January 27th, 2009 at 3:02 am
oh my gosh
I can’t imagine
but I have heard of false claims being brought against preschools
hopefully that will be the case
so glad she is out of there for now -anyways
Elle’s last blog post..Drama Mama
January 27th, 2009 at 3:56 am
I agree that it was a blessing in disguise that you pulled Babisodes out of preschool. God works in ways we cannot see. You’ll find a better one very soon. And I hope they get to the bottom of this.
ceemee’s last blog post..Dreams A-Calling
January 27th, 2009 at 5:48 am
I’m not a parent, so feel free to ignore this. But here’s what I would do.
Is Babisodes OK? Physically, mentally, etc, is she healthy? If so, then I’d thank my lucky stars for that.
There may have been someone at the preschool who was a danger to children, but there also may not. A claim/suit against someone isn’t proof that anything untoward happened. It’s just someone saying something, possibly out of spite or whatever. Of course, it could all be true, but “the jury is still out” so to speak.
So, at the moment, the only facts you have are that whatever went on at the preschool, your daughter is *safe* and *healthy* and *well*. That is the THE most important thing.
I get that it’s worrying that something could have happened. But it didn’t. And now, it’s too late for something to happen. Your daughter is *still* safe, healthy and well, and she will continue to be.
If there was someone at the preschool who could have harmed your daughter, then of course I hope the b*stard gets what is coming to him. Which he probably will if he goes to prison.
But not matter what else happens, your daughter is safe, healthy and well. Say that to yourself a few times.
Solomon’s last blog post..Things I’m Grateful For on Sunday 25 January
January 27th, 2009 at 6:15 am
I can only imagine what you are going through! As a parent it is a silent fear we carry every time our children walk out of the door, right? I agree with your other commenters that it was no accident that you pulled Babisodes out when you did. But I would so be like you…racking my poor brain into sleep deprivation over what could or might have been! Scary! Glad everything seems to be fine. Way to dodge a bullet!
Christie-A Work In Progress’s last blog post..Thought Provoking Thursday, Forhead Smack Friday, and Monday Morning Announcements All Rolled Into One Post!
January 27th, 2009 at 7:17 am
Is there somewhere on line that you can request a report? In NH we can go online and check out any licensed center in the state to see any licensing regulations that they broke. (Major ones) We then are able to request a more detailed report on the situation.
Wendy’s last blog post..Poor sweet little deer!
January 27th, 2009 at 8:09 am
That is sooooo scary. Babisodes seems fine, so I don’t think you have to worry too much. (But I’m sure I would be frantic!)
I guess I’d try to talk to other parents at the preschool to see what they have heard or said.
HUGS!
wright’s last blog post..Struggling
January 27th, 2009 at 9:39 am
Nothing useful to add except relief that Babisodes hasn’t been attending! Even if nothing shady is going on, it can’t be good that someone suspects something shady is going on.
VHMPrincess’s last blog post..Dear County Schools…
January 27th, 2009 at 9:43 am
OMG!! I’m speechless.
I have no idea what to tell you to do? I think I would be down there beating on the door demanding to find out what the crap is going on.
Dejoni’s last blog post..Winter Weather Message
January 27th, 2009 at 9:51 am
I would be FREAKING out! So glad she is not there.
One thing that can maybe be of help. I don’t know how things are up there. Down here all facilities that are DHS certified (they have star ratings and all) have all of the info on complaints and random visits on the internet. I would guess if there was a complaint it may have started there or should be listed there.
It can be a great tool. I would defiantly see if there is any information online.
I check out several facilities online, and some of them got ruled out right there.
Amanda’s last blog post..Word of the day…….ICE
January 27th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Looks like in Mass it is
http://www.eec.state.ma.us/
They are in charge of licenses. I would dig around there.
Amanda’s last blog post..Word of the day…….ICE
January 27th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Oh gosh! And I thought I had a weird reader question for the day. huh. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if your situation happened to me. I’d demand answers because I think you are ENTITLED to at least know the basis of the complaint.
sheila’s last blog post..We are but a speck.
January 27th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Oh, wow. I have no real advice or experience to share, but I’d be freaked out but also relieved that it sounds like Babisodes probably came through unscathed and that she out of there. The information may make its way out there in time. I would have been so freaked out, Sandy!
Maggie’s Mind’s last blog post..A is for…
January 27th, 2009 at 10:41 am
That is my worst nightmare and I would be sitting right next to you, swimming in a sea of apple pies. Babisodes is a smart little cookie and I think you asked her all the right questions.
If the school said all of their employees are still working and they still have their license, then hopefully it was just something minor that is being investigated. If it was more, the teacher would have been suspended at the very least.
Oy, let us know if you find out more!
January 27th, 2009 at 11:00 am
How is it that the preschool can withhold information from you? That doesn’t seem legal or at the very least ethical. Wow. I would be watching my kids for any signs of anything, and freaking out too. Very scary stuff…
kspin’s last blog post..All Caught Up…
January 27th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Wow. That would totally freak me out!!
I understand the privacy laws and they are there to protect both the kids and the workers, but still. My mind would probably make up much worse events than what really happened.
LOVE McD apple pies, although I miss the older fried version;)
Ashlie- Mommycosm’s last blog post..Quote: Happiness
January 27th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Wow…that is crazy! Background checks…anyone?
I’ll tell you this. I went to an insanely expensive Horse Camp when I was a kiddo, loved it. I found out, as an adult, that the lead guy at the camp (who I remember well) was in prison for molesting campers! This went on when I was there, and I had no idea! How crazy is that?!?
Nap Warden’s last blog post..Ski Bunny
January 27th, 2009 at 11:26 am
I think if it was anything as serious as sexual or physical abuse that the teacher would have been removed from the property during the investigation. It is probably more about how certain situations were handled. Maybe disciplining a child “too strictly” or something. Otherwise they would not allow that teacher to be around children while the investigation was going on.
I don’t blame you for freaking out. I would be too. But I would believe Babisodes. I think the fact that she was so at ease answering your questions tells you a lot.
Now go and enjoy your apple pies!
… now I want one.
Kat’s last blog post..WW- Ten Below
January 27th, 2009 at 11:40 am
OMG! I don’t know what I’d do! That’s horrible! I’d be sooo freaked if CPS called me!! *hugs* At least you know even better that you did the right thing taking her out!
Sarah’s last blog post..I was just a Mom…
January 27th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Worst nightmare for sure! I’m sure everything was fine with Babisodes, but so creepy. Hang in there.
Angela at mommy bytes’s last blog post..Twilight Zone Tower of Not-So-Much Terror
January 27th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Put the pies down and walk away… Be happy your child isn’t attending that facility anymore and when you think about it, how else will CPS investigate a complaint? Could also be a bogus complaint? But do keep in touch with CPS to find out what they conclude…
By the way, ever tried taro pies in Maui McD’s? They’ve got both, fried, old school fattie style… Mmm… taro.
Nino’s last blog post..Happy Chinese New Year!
January 27th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
I feel so bad for you. What a horrible experience. The good thing is that Babisodes is fine. I understnad your marginal feelings on her answers but feel just as confident that at three and as intelligent as she has proven herself to be (from other posts) that she would know instinctively if something wrong was done to her.
I strongly agree with other commenters that “having” to pull her from preschool was an unknown blessing, possibly God’s way of protecting her. I’d be asking CPS to keep you in the loop and update you as they are legally able to. Then I’d just wait.
My daughter taught in a preschool for a while and it is equally likely that a parent it being irrational or overreacting to a situation and called CPS.
Debbie’s last blog post..Project 365 – Week Four – Step Into My Week
January 27th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
I have never been in this position, so I can’t offer any advice on that point. I think your fear is totally within the boundaries of a parent. I do hope you quickly get some answers to ease your concerns.
patois’s last blog post..Haiku: If Only I Had Time
January 27th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Okay so I may be in the minority on this but I generally think there are people who file all kinds of complaints for all kinds of reasons. I would trust what your brilliant 3-year-old daughter is saying and I would observe her. Is she happy and healthy and her behavior is normal? I would trust my gut if you have gut feeling on the issue.
I think the worst part is of course that they won’t tell you what the complaint is. Ridiculous. They should at least tell you the nature of the complaint and that is where I would focus my energy.
I mean did you read Redneck Mommy’s whole story on this kind of issue with CPS and a complaint made against her? If not maybe you should read it. Good people get complaints made against them for weird ass reasons. I’m not saying the school is entirely innocent – maybe there is something wrong – but I definitely would not jump to conclusions. I mean, why? It’s just a lot of heartache for no real reason.
Okay – keep us updated if you find out anything.
Lee the MWOB Queen’s last blog post..I have a secret.
January 27th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Thank you everyone. My first reaction, after it all sank in, was that I was glad she is no longer attending the facility. We do feel as if our daughter would say something or present some out of the ordinary signs if something happened. I definitely hope that the complaint is a big misunderstanding. Especially for the sake of all the parents, kids, and faculty still there. Sounds like it isn’t too out of the ordinary to have complaints filed. Hearing some of your stories and experiences certainly puts my mind at ease. Thank you for sharing, and for the advice and tips as well.
January 27th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Frightening. Thank GOD she’s no longer there! Still, I’d be FREAKED!
Nola’s last blog post..A Perfect Weekend
January 27th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I’ve never had CPS call me BUT… one time when I arrived to pick up my daugher from her daycare facility, there were two police cars outside. Being the optimist that I am, I thought to myself “Oh, how nice. They had some officers come in to talk to the kids about being safe.” The next day, the director handed a memo out to all the parents advising that the police were called due to an altercation between two parents, those parents have been asked not to return to the facility and that the code to enter the facility had been changed due to this. The children were never in harm’s way, yada, yada, yada. All I could think was… wow. We asked my daughter if anything out of the ordinary happened at school and she wasn’t aware of anything so we just dismissed the situation.
It IS unfortunate that another child might have been affected by whatever happened at Babisode’s daycare but I agree with your other readers that THANK GOD nothing happened to your darling girl!
SherE1’s last blog post..Was it a full moon last night??
January 27th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
When my son was younger we signed him up for a church day camp in town. After maybe two days, we pulled him out. Many reasons, but nothing worthy of CPS. That was until a newspaper report later that year claimed one of the volunteer counselors was really a registered pedophile. After talking, at length with our son, we were convinced nothing happened while he was there. But I’m glad we listened to him when he came to us asking not to go back.
I hope the complaint is unfounded and that no child was hurt in anyway.
Tara R.’s last blog post..Bragging rights
January 27th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Yikes.
One preschool I worked at had a complaint filed against one of my fellow teachers and she was flat out fired because they didn’t want to deal with the possibility she may have done something.
Personally I don’t think she did anything but I guess it is better to be safe than sorry.
Just keep tabs via CPS and let them know you want to stay informed.
So sorry this happened!
January 27th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Also, I live in California and you are required to be fingerprinted as well as a background check to work in a childcare facility.
I don’t know but I would assume this is also the rule in your state.
I hope the conclusion is a good one and that it comes quickly!
Missy’s last blog post..I love chips, except when they are on my shoulder…
January 27th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Oh, goodness! My heart raced for you as I read.
Initially, my reaction was the high-strung “call the troops” and demand/do whatever you need to do to find out what happened. However, after breathing a bit, everyone’s right. Babisodes seems fine and as a wonderful mother, you would be able to see past everything if something was wrong.
My two year old and 10 weeker start day care in a couple of weeks. Before reading your post today, I was off the wall paranoid about anything and everything bad that could happen to my children. Now I am sticking with my “stay calm” mantra and listening to my instincts
January 27th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
My god, that’s frightening!
We had a problem at my son’s first nursery school and we heard that the teachers were throwing bean bags at the kids if they were naughty, and chastising the little ones if they made a mess in their pants… I took him out so fast! In the last 3 weeks at the school he regressed with potty training so fast.
Jeanette’s last blog post..A bit of fun
January 27th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Wow.
I have nothing to offer other than to say it sounds like she is o.k. I think if she had been molested she would be acting differently at home.
Have you left her anywhere else since pulling her out at preschool? Like Sunday School or a Mom’s morning out or with a babysitter? If so, did she act o.k. or did she act agitated or upset?
I hate that the fact that you were randomly selected now means you have to fear the worst and with no way to get answers. If you were not randomly selected you wouldn’t even know.
Beth (A Mom’s Life)’s last blog post..The joy in the mess.
January 27th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
That is one bad call to receive. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I have no advice, but am grateful that you’ve pulled her a while ago.
January 27th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
The CPS cannot give you any information. They have to be very careful in their investigations in order not to ruin any chances of having a conviction if one is warranted. I live in Martensville. A number of years ago we had a huge case in our town involving a daycare center. If you google it you will still be able to read about it. One of my friends had her children in that day care center and they were abused. Due to the inexperience of the police and the wrong way the interviews were held with the children only one person got convicted. The CPS has to be very careful in any information they give out so that it does not taint any testimony that they may need.
I would think that if they were concerned that any major indecent had occurred they would have removed the person or persons involved or closed the school down until their investigation was competed. The daycare here was closed immediately. It is a good thing that they are being thorough and are questioning others.
If Babisodies is not displaying any symptoms and she seems to have answered your questions, it is probably safe to say that nothing happened to her. With my friends children, it was very apparent that something was terribly wrong. They had nightmares and were very afraid of everything. They are doing well now but they had to have a lot of help to get there. It makes me sick to this day that there was only one conviction in this case.
Christine’s last blog post..Dumb And Really Stupid Ticket!
January 27th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Thank goodness that Babisodes is not going there anymore. I think that based on what she told you that can take a big sigh of relief right now. I would be freaking out too if I were you! If Babisodes was still attending that preschool, I would be phoning all the local media I could get in touch with!
Tiffany’s last blog post..Happy Birthday To My Momsey!
January 27th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
wow… as parents, don’t you have the right to know what the investigation is all about since your child is attending the school? even if it’s alledge charges, you still have the right to know right?
savvymode sg’s last blog post..Birthday Cake
January 27th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Wow! I can certainly understand you first reaction to the news. However, and I think you said something in your response, Babisodes is fine. I also can’t help but think she would have told you the truth because that’s what 3 year olds do when asked. They are very truthful, even when they’ve been told otherwise. Meanwhile, if you do consider sending her anywhere next year, I’d ask what procedures for toiletting, etc. they have in place. In other words, is there ever an instance (any instance) that a child is left alone with anyone? In the pre-schools I sent my older two, they were never alone with only 1 adult.
Joyce-Anne’s last blog post..A Day at the Spa
January 27th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Scary indeed!
I can see why you’re worried!
Jientje’s last blog post..Ruby Tuesday Primula’s
January 27th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Oh, Sandy! I would be worried, too! But it’s good to know after talking with Babiesodes that she was never harmed… Still scary!
SarahHub @ Oakbriar Farm’s last blog post..Chicken Tortilla Soup
January 27th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
I’m so sorry that you’re having to deal with this. Hope you find out the answers soon.
Asianmommy’s last blog post..Make Your Own Chinese Dragon
January 27th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Oh wow, I would have totally been freaking out if I’d gotten a call like that! Working within the court system, i know CPS can’t disclose any info until the investigation is done. Thank goodness Babisodes is going there anymore!
Jeanne’s last blog post..We Want Our Dad
January 27th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
I gave you an award… : )
savvymode sg’s last blog post..Birthday Cake
January 27th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
I am so sorry you’re outta your mind with worry. I would be too. And I wish I had something to say to make you feel better, or some advice, but I’ve never had to deal with anything like this.
I’d just keep my ears open, talk to other parents and listen to Babisodes. Don’t freak her out, but ask her about daycare, ask her who played with her, fav teachers, what “kind” of things they did together. Just to see if anything sound out of the realm of normal. But don’t worry, I am sure she was unharmed.
It is really disconcerting knowing that the person they are investigating is still working with children though. Good luck.
Carrie’s last blog post..Belated
January 27th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Wow. That is scary stuff. Certainly makes getting her out of there look like a good decision, although if something more was going on with her I am sure you would have picked up on it.
It is ridiculous that CPS can just call with a bomb shell like that, involving your kid’s school, and then give no further info. Maybe other parents know more?
Beth’s last blog post..how a stay at home mom spends 26.5 kid free hours
January 27th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
A call like this can only create fear, period. But, Babisodes is right at the age where she would only tell you the truth. Trust her and her responses to you. She’s absolutely fine.
Now, thank your lucky stars that someone in the heavens was looking out for all of you and got your little one out of any harm’s way (whatever it may or may not be). You’ll find out the answer to the mystery soon enough, somehow, some way.
January 27th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Oh – congrats! I just voted for you at momdot!
January 27th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
Okay, since I’m more familiar with nursing homes but suspect that investigations for preschools and nursing homes are similarly handled. I’m throwing out the following likelihoods.
Check for a public inspection report available once the investigation is over and filed with the agency. There probably is a way to get reports from the state on preschools and daycare. It’s also quite probable that the school is obligated to keep their inspection report publicly available. However, it won’t contain the most recent investigation info until the school receives the official paperwork from the state. Of course, if nothing was cited, there may not be anything new available at all.
Hope you sleep better tonight!
Kim’s last blog post..Enough Already! AKA Stubborn, Stubborn Germs
January 28th, 2009 at 12:48 am
I’m suprised they couldn’t tell you what the complaint was. I would think that they could tell you the “what” without telling the “who”. But there are false accusations made too, and I guess they have to be careful. That’s horrible. I’m sorry.
Grandy’s last blog post..How did you find me?
January 28th, 2009 at 1:18 am
Read the newspaper, any complaints are usually in the paper. There is no “confidential” anything. They always say that but it was probably in the paper already.
Elaine B.’s last blog post..Legitimizing your Items-Surviving Hand Made-Part 1
January 28th, 2009 at 6:00 am
Whoa….
I would not be able to sleep all night. I would do some digging around. You paid big bucks for her school. Who cares if the school was upset w/your phone call. I’d call again. Hugs.
OHmommy’s last blog post..My Rx: hearts & sparkles & everything else
January 28th, 2009 at 10:16 am
I don’t know what to say. I would probably call the CPS personnel back and demand some kind of answers. How can they call you with questions because you were randomly picked and not give you any information. Gosh I would lose my mind.
Felicia’s last blog post..Dangerous Co-Sleepers
January 28th, 2009 at 11:01 am
Scary. I haven’t had that experience, but knowing what I know about how honest you are, I would expect that Babisodes wouldn’t be afraid to tell you the truth. So, heave a sigh of relief.
They can’t reveal information about the charges before a conclusion is reached because accusing someone of molesting children will ruin the rest of their life, and you don’t do that without proof. People react with far more hysteria over these things than is needed, and some of them might actually do harm to the person, without even having any proof that they did anything. That’s not right. So, it’s secret until the investigation is over.
I don’t think I’d even worry too much about the other kids until something is proven, one way or the other.
Dot’s last blog post..About Your Business
January 28th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
I have dealt with CPS, but in this area it is CYS. Here is how I dealt with them — someone called them on my sister-in-law because my niece (who was 7 at the time) made a passing comment that she was babysitting her younger sisters. Not the case. She was babysitting them with grandma, but the teacher freaked and called Children and Youth Services.
My sister-in-law calls me and I called the caseworker and told her flat out what I knew and that I knew she couldn’t tell me much because of privacy, etc.
The caseworker called me back and told me she couldn’t tell me a lot but assured me things were OK and to stay calm about it and to please pass the same message to my sister-in-law. So, I have found out that if you are straight up and say “I know you can’t tell me this because of legal issues, but is there anything you can tell me? Is my child OK?”
There may be something they can tell you. Good luck with it all.
Jonny’s Mommy’s last blog post..Random small town silliness
January 28th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
geez! i have nothing to offer you but moral support. insanity.
jameil’s last blog post..Friday, Please
January 28th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Wow. I can’t imagine. How terrible that must feel. I wonder if you could contact some of the other parents and hear what they might have to say?
Holly at Tropic of Mom’s last blog post..Driving in the snow, South Florida style
January 28th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
First you need to breath a little. Yes, it is very scary to get a call like that, but remember they are doing a job — They were contacted by a parent with a charge. They have to look into it even if they don’t believe the charge. There are some crazy parents out there — parents who think that their child is abused, mistreated, picked on, bullied and the list could go on when all the really happened was that their child didn’t tell the truth. So unless you hear from CPS again I think you are home free. Babisodes gave honest answers. Trust her — even at the tender age of 3.
Patsy’s last blog post..Not Aloud
January 28th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Sandy, here’s my best guess, after working in the education field for closing on 30 years. CPS HAS to investigate every complaint they get. They’re mandated to do so.
Disgruntled parents “in the know” use this. It happens.
You mentioned that there were some children who weren’t nice in Babisodes’s second class. Maybe one of these kids was kicked out and the parents filed the complaint.
You did the right thing by being clear with CPS and clear with Babisodes. It’s not sounding like she was traumatized in any way. You’re probably fine. If you have any friends whose kids still go to the preschool, though, I’d keep your ear to the ground.
What a scary experience for you and Dadisodes, though!
Jen of a2eatwrite’s last blog post..What’s Cooking Wednesday: Why I Love Mark Bittman
January 29th, 2009 at 7:49 am
Oh sure! I needed to read this after my last blog post details my son going off to his first day of preschool! What an awful phone call to get!
Aly @ Lip Zip’s last blog post..Before You Know It, He’ll Be Going Off to College
January 29th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
It hasn’t happened to me and I wish it wouldn’t happen to ANYBODY. That’s a horrible phone call to receive.
January 29th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Would it make you feel better if I told you that when my three oldest girls were 2, 4, and 6…they would go around knocking on doors of the town house we lived in…(idea of my oldest) and tell them they were hungry…mom doesn’t feed them lunch….(I almost killed them when I found out…one kind parent finally told me.) LOL! This same daughter also thought it was funny when she was fourteen and “watching” her younger siblings to dare them to run around the apartment in their underwear (GASP) and then lock them out for five minutes!! OMG!
I only found out about this last year…..
….maybe it is for the best….LOL!
elijahssong’s last blog post..Homemade Ice Cream
January 29th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Wow! I am so sorry this happened. I would have responded as you did and been just shaky afterwards. How scary that moment must have been of running upstairs to talk with your daughter.
Best
Kathy’s last blog post..Lego met a cactus today
January 29th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Oh no, hope whatever that is about, it’s not as bad as you think. Well, it’s quite normal to be worried because you’re a parent and Babisodes is really so young. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise that you had to take her off that school.
kat’s last blog post..Ferdie, Kat, and the Eclipse
January 30th, 2009 at 8:45 am
OMG Sandy I think I would definitely freak. Sounds like you guys are handling it the best way you can though. Glad Babisodes is alright.
Jessi’s last blog post..Imbolc Ritual Cake
January 31st, 2009 at 2:28 am
Oh geez, that had to be so scary. If Babisodes seems okay, though, then try not to worry too much. It could easily be something where a parent got mad about something, threw a fit, called in the services, and now they have to investigate just for safety’s sake….i.e., it could really be nothing at all. Keep us updated if you find anything else out, though.
Jessi’s last blog post..Snuggie Sightings — Run for your life!
January 31st, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Now THAT’s unnerving to say the least! I understand why the school doesn’t want to talk about it … no doubt ‘legal’ has advised them ‘mum’s the word’ … but from a teacher’s point of view … I’ve had kids tell some pretty unbelievable stories about me when they were angry about being held accountable … so it’s possible there’s nothing to worry about. Methinks I’d pay attention to the news all the same and be relieved Babisodes is home with mommy and daddy for the time being. Reminds me how often something I don’t want at the time turns out to be a good thing eventually.
Hugs and blessings,
storyteller’s other blog’s last blog post..Haiku Friday #110 – Sky Watch #27
February 1st, 2009 at 10:11 pm