Thinking about OPP (not that one, the other one)
I have become such a whore.
That’s right. My husband finally got me knocked up, and apparently I want nothing to do with him anymore.
Surprised?
Well don’t be.
This has happened before.
In fact, the last time I was pregnant, I slept with a few of my husband’s co-workers.
Not one. A few. And sometimes all in one night.
See?
Whore.
Now this news may be a bit disturbing and quite shocking to most of you, so imagine if you will the level of turmoil swirling around in my head. Like a hurricane, nothing will stop me on this path of destruction.
I mean, it is not as if I go around looking to cheat on him. Nor do I want to.
It just happens.
Four years ago, after my first transgression, I broke the news to my husband. He discovered me with sweat glistening all over my body, as my chest rose up and down in heavy breaths. Still in a daze, I struggled to piece together the words to tell him I had just slept with his boss.
That did not go over well.
But the amazing man he is, he forgave me. And over the years I have overcome the guilt by digging my heels deeply beside our vows. So deep, that I have managed to lose my shoes, and my mind, yet again.
This weekend, I slept with someone else.
Actually, I slept with five other men. None of which I knew.
In one night.
Perhaps it’s because my husband and I have had to transition from months of holy-crap-I’m-ovulating-and-it’s-been-3-hours-since-we-did-it, to now weeks of abstinence. And I have yet to receive the green light from my Ob/Gyn to consummate this pregnancy.
So this latest bout of infidelity has been stressful for a number of reasons.
However, surprisingly this time my husband does not even care. He is completely un-phased. As if he anticipated this train making this unscheduled stop. He just lies beside me in bed and rolls his eyes as I fall into a hot, steamy slumber.
Because apparently while pregnant, sleeping always turns his wife into a psycho hoe’d beast.
D’oh…I was confused for a moment…Now clean it up Momisodes;)
August 2nd, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Slick blog! How is it that you were at the newbie breakfast at BlogHer (we sat at the same table) and your blog looks so state-of-the-art? Good stuff, juicy too! Will check in again!
August 2nd, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Nap Warden- I know. Tsk tsk, Sandy. Tsk tsk.
Lorraine- Thank you Lorraine! And thanks for stopping by. It was a pleasure meeting you at BlogHer’s newbie breakfast.
August 2nd, 2009 at 9:03 pm
You had me for a minute. My friend had very sexual dreams about her ob/gyn when she was pregnant with her daughter.
August 2nd, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Ha ha ha you really had me worried for a moment!
I hope the dreams are at least fufilling *snickers*
August 2nd, 2009 at 9:22 pm
I won’t tell if you won’t tell.
August 2nd, 2009 at 9:24 pm
@Joyce-Anne- Her Ob/gyn? Yikes! Okay, that better not happen to me. Mine OB is woman.
Heather- LOL. I’ll never tell
Mike Golch- Thank you
August 2nd, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Ya had me for a few minutes there. In fact I had to read it twice. I kept thinking….”Gee, that’s an interesting marriage!!!!!!!!!!”
August 2nd, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Cleaver! You know.. I don’t know if I will ever confess to my husband whom I dreamt about.
I’m not pregnant so does that make me abnormal? 
August 2nd, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Ha! I knew exactly where this post was headed.
Not that I’d ever admit WHY….
August 2nd, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Huh? When I was pregnant, I had nightmares about amphibious cats trying to eat me!
August 2nd, 2009 at 10:07 pm
I new several friends who got hot and heavy in their pregnancy dreams. I, sadly, missed out on that symptom. I say when you’re pregnant, take what you can get!
August 2nd, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Ha! You got me.
But you’re right. Pregnancy brings on the wildest dreams!
August 2nd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
You ROCK!! Thank you for making me smile.
August 2nd, 2009 at 10:16 pm
I have some crazy ho dreams when pregnant too. So crazy. Although lately my dreams are either about Todd cheating on me, or my ex boyfriends coming back. So weird.
August 2nd, 2009 at 10:17 pm
HILARIOUS! yes, i have had similar experiences during pregnancy. those hormones bring out some craziness…fo’ sho’.
August 2nd, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Heck yeah lady! I have these kind of dreams… AND I’M NOT EVEN PREGNANT!
August 2nd, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Congrats on the pregnancy. Prayers do get answered!
August 2nd, 2009 at 10:33 pm
I had sex dreams all. the. time. when I was pregnant. It was bad. It probably had to do with the fact that I had NO interest in sex whatsoever. Poor hubby.
August 2nd, 2009 at 10:51 pm
bwahahahahahaha…….
August 2nd, 2009 at 11:01 pm
ok, I had to see who’s blog I was reading at first. LOL
I remember those dreams. It’s amazing what pregnancy does to us.
August 2nd, 2009 at 11:03 pm
lolol. now you’re going to get some AWESOME searches. i can’t wait for those!! lol. “how do i tell my husband i cheated on him with his boss and four of his coworkers?” or “i’m a whore and my husband still loves me.” going to create your e-scarlet letter RIGHT. NOW!!!
August 2nd, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Once I slept with the UPS delivery man when I was pregnant, as well as most of my hubby’s friends. Glad to know I am not the only preggo hoe-bag that dream cheats!
August 2nd, 2009 at 11:12 pm
Ha! Ha! Because my pregnancies were always high risk my hubby and I were pretty much abstinent the entire time. This led to many crazy dreams. I was actually quite surprised the first time it happened. I never realized how satisfying they could be.
August 2nd, 2009 at 11:14 pm
Heh. I knew there’d be a “catch” to this. But, for a minute, I was wondering lol
August 3rd, 2009 at 12:18 am
lol………………i had the same thing happen during BOTH of my pregnancies… except I don’t remember actual people
lol dreams are crazy!!!
August 3rd, 2009 at 12:28 am
I can never seem to recall what I dream, so ….
August 3rd, 2009 at 1:59 am
Sandy!!!! I thought I was going to faint I was so shocked. I totally didn’t get the context until the very end.
But now, I’m laughing. Well, you’re not alone with those steamy dreams. When I was pregnant with my first I would have full blown orgasms in my sleep! Like a teenage boy! It was ridiculous.
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:36 am
*snigger*
I was the same. But I also accused MPS of sleeping with anyone he smiled at.
August 3rd, 2009 at 6:41 am
This is just too funny… I was reading from reader and this post came up, title OPP!!
I hope that worked correctly…
August 3rd, 2009 at 7:03 am
Wow, I’m feeling a bit short-changed in the pregnant dreams department. I remember having vivid, weird dreams, but never sex dreams. *sigh* Good for you;)
August 3rd, 2009 at 8:02 am
Okay, uhm, halfway through I actually didn’t want to finish reading. Glad I did.
Hmmmm, sometimes I actually want my dreams to be that vivid.
August 3rd, 2009 at 8:33 am
Okay … now I’m jealous.
August 3rd, 2009 at 8:46 am
I’ve never heard anyone say that sexy dreams were infidelity. After all, we don’t have much control over our dreams. So enjoy! I would be willing to be that Dadisodes has his share, but he may not feel it necessary to tell you.
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:24 am
Oh I always loved those dreams… ENJOY!
August 3rd, 2009 at 10:12 am
Haha! Love your style!
Keep writing…
August 3rd, 2009 at 10:32 am
Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com- LOL! My hubby is forgiving, but probably not THAT forgiving.
Amy @ The Q Family- haha! Not at all
Rachel @ Grasping for Objectivity in my Subjective Life- haha!
Muthering Heights- Oh no! Well, I’ve heard that is completely normal too.
Emily- LOL. So true
Asianmommy- Indeed it does. The last time, I had some wacko dreams!
Grandy-
Kat-Oh no! Actually, I think I had those hubby cheating dreams too towards the end of my pregnancy with my daughter.
Chronicles of Momnia- Oh yea.
Paging Doctor Mommy- LOL! Luck you
Walking in my sleep- Thank you
Cara- I’m so glad I’m not the only one….on both accounts
the planet of janet-
Lis ~ A Trucker Wife- I know. Pregnancy can be so wild on many levels.
Jameil- ROFL at e-scarlet letter!!!!
Lauren- the UPS man? OMG!
Sassy- hehe…I know exactly that you mean
Ashley- ha, you didn’t think I would really do it!
mojavi at Simple Things- LOL! Glad to hear I’m not alone
Jientje- I know a few people like that too. Part of me wishes I could do that too sometimes.
Melissa- ROFL! Yup, it’s like puberty all over again.
Kelley- Really? Oh boy. Perhaps that will come later. Poor Dadisodes.
eMILY/rANDOMABILITY- I can’t click the link
I’ll have to try Safari.
Ashlie- Mommycosm- Last pregnancy I had some other vivid dreams as well. It’s amazing how real it seems while pregnant.
katcarneo- LOL
Glad you made it to the end.
Dot- Ah, that’s a great point! I’ll have to remember that
Jenni Jiggety-
JenJen @GottaLoveMom- Thank you!
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:26 am
I swear when I was pregnant I had dreams about every man I knew. It was the weirdest 9 months of my life! LOL
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:36 am
Hysterical.. I totally remember the pregnancy dreams.. hahahah
August 3rd, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Wow I was hoping it was going there. Until then I left my mouth half dropped open just in case! First time here. Great blog! I am 15 weeks now and as yet I am still waiting to have a good nights sleep!
August 3rd, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Slutty Sandy FTW!! LMAO
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Ok. I’m going to say it. You got me. Even as I was reading and knowing in my bones that there had to be a catch somewhere, my heart jumped up into my mouth for a bit. Now that I’m over the shock, I just have to say one thing more:
HOLY CRAP. THAT HAPPENS??
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:32 pm
You got me for sure. The dreams are a nice benefit of pregnancy
August 3rd, 2009 at 3:54 pm
LMAO Well, I’ve slept with Jack Nicholson and David Spade! I know! Dreams, huh?
August 3rd, 2009 at 6:03 pm
I think it’s a hormone thing – hits at all kinds of times of transitions. Poor Dadisodes, though!
August 3rd, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Is it so wrong to want to get a new bun in the oven just to get another visit from Johnny Depp?
August 3rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Yeah, those preggers hormones are a bitch, aren’t they? I spent a good five months of each one horny as a toad. Of course, hubby didn’t mind a bit, since I suddenly had BOOBS.
I never bothered to tell him about all the extracurricular activities I engaged in while he was at work and the little ones were napping. Men get their little pea feelings hurt SO easily.
August 3rd, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Same thing as you. I was really lucky when I was pregnant with my daughter. I would actually have orgasms in my sleep that would often wake me up. Haven’t been as lucky the 2nd and 3rd times around. I guess what my girly parts went through after childbirth did me in.
Hope you are well.
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:27 pm
Is it bad that I had no idea where this was going? I mean, I didn’t think you were a whore, but I always try to keep an open mind, haha. Glad it was only dreams…
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:49 pm
I think the hot dreams are nature’s way of making up for the sometimes frequent lack of waking-moment action….
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:35 pm
You are so brave! I would never tell my husband about my dream transgressions, mostly because I would never want to hear about his!
August 4th, 2009 at 1:12 am
Is it okay that I was a little turned on by that post?
August 4th, 2009 at 2:05 am
Wow! Those sound like some great dreams, way better than my totally bizarre and disturbing dreams.
August 4th, 2009 at 6:52 am
OK, now I totally feel jipped! The only preggo dreams I had were about frogs and staircases that lead to empty rooms!
August 4th, 2009 at 9:34 am
You had me trippin. I didn’t know what to think. A few days before I delivered I dreamed about being with a football player. Don’t you know my baby came out light just like him. So our little joke is we need get some child support from that football player.
August 4th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Oh my yes the crazy pregnant sex dreams. check and check. Also, I’ve been having the most vivid other dreams, like it’s all in 3D or something. Very wild.
Can’t believe you told Dadisodes, I could never fess up like that.
August 4th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
I was really starting to freak out a little about this….and I’m glad I read the bottom of the post.
I had similar experiences when I was pregnant.
Shew! Glad to know I was not alone in my adultry!
August 4th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
perpstu- LOL! Boy am I glad I haven’t had sex dreams with men I actually know…yet.
Kim- Aren’t they crazy!
Brittany at Mommy Words- Thanks so much for stopping by, and a huge Congrats!
Miss- LOL! First I get an e-Scarlet letter now this
Mishi- GIIIIIIRL! It definitely happens.
Secret Mom Thoughts- I have to say, I can’t complain.
Karen @ If I Could Escape- Wow! Celeb sex dreams? That’s pretty awesome.
Jen of a2eatwrite- I know. Poor thing. He is so understanding.
Lisa Rae @ smacksy- ROFL! I’m starting to get jealous over these celeb sex dreams.
The Mother- ROFL!!!! I am STILL waiting for the boobs to set in. I could really use them. You are so kind not to share.
Carrie- LOL! That could be true. Childbirth could have been a bad memory for them.
Mrs4444- LOL
Holly at Tropic of Mom- I think you are right.
Angela at mommy bytes- That is so TRUE! I would probably cry if my husband ever told me his.
Mike- *snort* I’m totally keeping my mouth shut
dysfunctional mom- Oy. I’m sure those will come too with time.
Prontip- Yikes! I’m terrified of frogs (not sure why).
Felicia- LOL! That is such a crazy coincidence.
skiplovey- 3D? Yeowza. Glad those were ‘other’ dreams. I’m guessing sex dreams in 3D may not be the best combo.
Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings- ha. glad I’m not the only one, too.
August 4th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
Okay.. um.. YAY!!!!!
and lol!
August 4th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
I totally thought you were a sex-a-holic for a minute there! Phew! Glad it was a dream I was getting exhausted for you! lol
August 5th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Man, do I ever miss pregnancy dreams.
August 5th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
“Consummate this pregnancy”: LOVED that phrase.
August 6th, 2009 at 8:00 pm